MIL gossips about me nonstop, yet texts me on Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just reply “you too” and move on with life. Honestly you are letting her win by letting her life rent free in your head this much.

100% this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your dh allow her to be mean to you? I don’t get why he isn’t shutting this down and standing up to her

He probably agrees.

OP here. He has confronted her over what he and I heard directly with our own ears. He said if she chooses to talk badly about any member of our family in our own home, they can no longer visit our home. He also said that if she chooses to talk badly about any of our family in her home or on vacation or whatever, we will leave.

And then he hears from his cousin and others the thing she says about me at their houses or at restaurants, etc.

The things she generally has a problem with is that I don’t share her exact denomination of religion, and I don’t entertain in precisely the same way she does. DH and I work together on holiday celebrations and hosting, and she can’t get over that we don’t embrace the Santa tradition, even though we do celebrate Christmas. It’s just petty, silly things like that and she makes it a huge deal and tries to undermine and subvert and do things her way. DH used to incorporate certain traditions from his childhood so it’s not like it was “all my way,” but over time we’ve made our own way and she can’t get over the differences. She can’t get over that I’m not her exact same denomination. It’s hurtful.

I mean, I get that no one should ever say anything bad about anyone, but your MIL doesn't sound cruel. She sounds like she has no filter. Sometimes there is a difference. It is unusual to celebrate Christmas but not Santa/Father Christmas. She's venting her disappointment. And at some point she will die.

I would just ignore. These are not the details I care about.

But maybe I'm not correctly gauging how nagging and relentless the comments are? In that case, the problem is that she just can't shut up. Don't invite her as much. Talkative people are exhausting

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just reply “you too” and move on with life. Honestly you are letting her win by letting her life rent free in your head this much.

This is the best response.

I wouldn’t wish her HMD, that’s her son’s job and she clearly is being insincere. I would respond “Have a great day” and leave it at that.

The bolded is the only thing that I disagree with.

I know a lot of people on DCUM think this way though. but I would say that any (good) mother is worthy of being wished a HMD. It’s like happy holidaysor happy birthday or even generic “have a good day”.

I send good Mother’s Day wishes to my own mother, mother-in-law, sisters, aunts and friends who are mothers. I personally don’t go out of my way (other than my BFF and sisters) but if I’m interacting with these people anyway, I don’t think it’s only the job of their biological kid to do so.

Maybe I’m crazy, but even at a Mother’s Day brunch that’s the greeting I use for most of the “mothers” that are there.

[Anonymous]

Op is there an update? Are you letting DH deal with ALL of it from now on? Are you gonna drop that rope?