Dealing with Bipolar sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I absolutely did not do anything inappropriate to my sister to cause her to stop talking to me. She didn’t stop talking to me because I said something she didn’t like. She stopped talking to me because I took space after she said mean things about my boyfriend.

When she is unmedicated she is extremely crass and has no filter. She thinks it’s ok to say anything and the other person should just take it. I know better after years of this than to try and argue with her. But the situation is still hurtful when she says negative things so I needed a breather. When she is in these places any indication that another is bothered by her behavior sends her off the deep end. I’m just not sure how to manage this. Taki my a brief step back was the most peaceful thing I could think of.

I will continue to try and reach out to my nephews and hope they will take my calls.

If the nephews don't return your calls or won't speak when they answer, you need to consider that a boundary and respect it. You seem to be showing your own black and white rigid thinking. Your sister is bad and you are the good one and the savior and your nephews need you. People with mental illness can be good parents. Even if you don't have a good relationship, it doesn't mean she doesn't have healthy relationships with others. You are not some superhero. I would back away. If the nephews reach out to you and want help then definitely help, otherwise maybe consider getting help learning to detach with love and stop inserting yourself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and "Bipolar" is not an adjective that one applies to people. I can see why your sister might not want to talk to someone like you.

You obviously are bipolar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
People cut off siblings for good reason all the time where the cut-off sibling, due to lack of insight, thinks it was for "no reason." When this scenario takes place with a sibling who has a mental illness, it gives the sibling who is actually at fault all the ammunition in the world to wail away about it like OP. "My sibling cut me off because they have bipolar disorder!!!" Nope, they cut you off because you are a jack@$$.

OP's nieces and nephews have phones and they aren't taking her calls either. She did something. And it probably wasn't "little."

NP. You need to give this up. XDH was diagnosed with bipolar maybe two years ago and isn't taking his meds. He's treating our kids (mid-20s now) horribly, isn't really on speaking terms with one of them, and is absolutely not on speaking terms with the other. I was getting along with him until last month when he suddenly had a temper tantrum over me having much more savings (for the record, in the divorce he got a chunk of my savings but he spent it on ridiculous things, also he's still po'd the judge wouldn't give him any of my inheritance).

For the pp who said bipolar meds are truly awful, could you elaborate? I'm trying to understand why XDH won't take his meds. He's now my kids' problem not mine, but I try to help them out in their interactions with him and this could be useful info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Person with bipolar disorder here.

No one who hasn't taken these meds will understand how awful they are. I do not go off of my meds, but I very much understand the choice of anyone who chooses to do so.

At any rate, your sister's decision not to have anything to do with you likely has nothing to do with bipolar disorder. People don't just stop taking calls from their sister because they have bipolar disorder. You did something. Own up to it.

Actually, as someone who also has a sister with bipolar and likely borderline personality disorder, i can attest that people with bipolar disorder do indeed stop talking to their sister for little or no reason. My sister has done it at least once a year for years on end. She has very little perspective and sometimes the "issues" she is upset about are wholecloth fiction. You may not do this, and if you don't randomly cut off family members you're usually close to, great. But other people with bipolar disorder can and do. Because of their disease, and with little warning.

It's cruel and they are clearly showing they really don't care that much about their sibling. But we're supposed to suck it up because they are bipolar.

Lol. They don't stop speaking for "no reason" -- and your definition of "little" is undoubtedly something your sister would debate.

People cut off siblings for good reason all the time where the cut-off sibling, due to lack of insight, thinks it was for "no reason." When this scenario takes place with a sibling who has a mental illness, it gives the sibling who is actually at fault all the ammunition in the world to wail away about it like OP. "My sibling cut me off because they have bipolar disorder!!!" Nope, they cut you off because you are a jack@$$.

OP's nieces and nephews have phones and they aren't taking her calls either. She did something. And it probably wasn't "little."

NP. You need to give this up. XDH was diagnosed with bipolar maybe two years ago and isn't taking his meds. He's treating our kids (mid-20s now) horribly, isn't really on speaking terms with one of them, and is absolutely not on speaking terms with the other. I was getting along with him until last month when he suddenly had a temper tantrum over me having much more savings (for the record, in the divorce he got a chunk of my savings but he spent it on ridiculous things, also he's still po'd the judge wouldn't give him any of my inheritance).

For the pp who said bipolar meds are truly awful, could you elaborate? I'm trying to understand why XDH won't take his meds. He's now my kids' problem not mine, but I try to help them out in their interactions with him and this could be useful info.