Can you explain kids sports in this region for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD who is good, not great, at soccer. She likes it, has been playing since she was 4 and is pretty good. I think she could be really good but she would need to do some individual coaching, go to weekly footskills and probably do travel team (if she made the team). However I don't see how we could possibly do this since both DH and I work full time and have other kids who also do sports and other activities.

In order for a kid to really excel at sports doesn't it end up really taking a lot of the parents time and commitment?

I am conflicted though since I was a 3 sport varsity athlete in high school, played travel soccer and AAU basketball, etc. My parents gave up a ton of time to shuttle me around to year round sports.

How old is your child? The answer is if she cares enough that she wants to improve then she has to work at it herself. I was a three sport athlete in high school (Olympic development state team, travel) and was recruited for and played in college (NCAA nationals multiple years). Your child must work on fundamentals on their own. It’s not sustainable for your lifestyle and it’s probably not great for your child if you are committing so hard to soccer if she’s young. Does she run on her own? When I was nine I was running on my own after school for conditioning and doing abs and circuits that I set up on my own. You can throw money at stuff but if your child isn’t passionate you are wasting your money.

My point is follow your child’s lead on this instead of looking at pushy parents. Kids burn out when they are pushed unsustainably and most kids do not play sports at D1 Ivies or extremely SLACs. The vast majority of these kids will get overuse injuries from specializing at such a young age or get disillusioned or burn out and that’s before they even get to the point where they are competing nationally for attention from college coaches. If your child isn’t passionate at that point they won’t be able to handle the pressure.

[Anonymous]

Then do rec and wait. There are some very driven 7-8-9 year olds who ask and beg to go to skate, soccer, dance practices. If your kid is not that kid stick to once a week but they will face the super dedicated kids in competitive teams eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD who is good, not great, at soccer. She likes it, has been playing since she was 4 and is pretty good. I think she could be really good but she would need to do some individual coaching, go to weekly footskills and probably do travel team (if she made the team). However I don't see how we could possibly do this since both DH and I work full time and have other kids who also do sports and other activities.

In order for a kid to really excel at sports doesn't it end up really taking a lot of the parents time and commitment?

I am conflicted though since I was a 3 sport varsity athlete in high school, played travel soccer and AAU basketball, etc. My parents gave up a ton of time to shuttle me around to year round sports.

How old is your child? The answer is if she cares enough that she wants to improve then she has to work at it herself. I was a three sport athlete in high school (Olympic development state team, travel) and was recruited for and played in college (NCAA nationals multiple years). Your child must work on fundamentals on their own. It’s not sustainable for your lifestyle and it’s probably not great for your child if you are committing so hard to soccer if she’s young. Does she run on her own? When I was nine I was running on my own after school for conditioning and doing abs and circuits that I set up on my own. You can throw money at stuff but if your child isn’t passionate you are wasting your money.

Nuts

Being a good competitive athlete is a mindset. You have to want it.

At 6, the can dominate rec if they are really that good. I don't even think travel soccer is really a thing before U9 and even then, it still draws in new players from rec for a few years

We had some neighbors who started at U8. I thought they were utterly nuts, but then I realized how into it their kids were (different families, same team, hence all the plurals). Even with that, though, all those families had local family to help them with the lifestyle. They also don't push academics at all, but the kids do participate in some other activities.

[Anonymous]

So, your kid is good but not asking to play more and you don't want them to play more because you don't have the bandwith? Sounds perfect. Stay with rec until they beg beg beg to play every day and are so much better than the other kids that you're willing to sacrifice a little to make it happen. Becuase yes, in order for the kid to excel it takes a tremendous amount of a parent's time. My kid plays travel -- we are at a practice/game/tournament about 4x week. Between carpools/family we make it work...and we don't mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are all your kids?

I'd just sign your kid up for Rec soccer. If she is better than her grade level, and she was born in the fall (Oct-Dec) see if she can play up a year.

If by 3rd grade she's doing awesome still and is very interested, maybe look at other teams to join. But honestly, travel soccer in elementary school is mainly around just to make money off over eager Type A parents.

You played 3 sports yourself, let your daughter explore some. Don't worry about being The Best At Soccer in the 1st grade.

OP - thank you! This is a very reasonable approach. DD wants to try basketball in the winter. But then another parent mentioned that she really should be playing winter soccer to improve her skills. I don't have the bandwidth to have her play 2 sports in one season.

I have a 4 year old, 7 year old and 9 year old. They all play one sport per season, oldest two do tutoring, girl scouts, church classes and both elementary aged kids are in an academically rigorous catholic school. I don't know how much more time I have. DH and I both work full time with no nanny or family support.

For every parent who says "you have to do..." there are at least 10 parents who are not doing those things and there kids are thriving. Is your goal professional soccer for her? Or just to have fun and learn to play? Or somewhere in between? My kids play soccer, they love it. We do Rec only. They are 10 and 7 and have lots of fun. If they aren't life long soccer players, or don't even play on the high school team, that's FINE with me. There are lots of things to do!

But travel teams make everyone think that paying thousands of dollars a year is the ONLY way for your kid to excel. Its' maybe one way. But some kids or families get so tired of it, they stop doing it. Save all of that for middle school, if your kid is super passionate. Then they can work year round to get better and see where they go. Being the best at age 9 is so silly.

I have kids in middle and high school so my perspective might be different. I have a middle school kid who loves basketball. He started late (upper elementary vs age 6) and had no skills training. Compared to the kids who have been playing travel and AAU and doing training for years, my kid is way behind. He spent much of elementary playing basketball with his friends after school, got MVP of his basketball rec team, played ok all stars, etc. My middle school child is mad at us for not putting him in training earlier. He is trying his best but it is difficult to catch up. Even kids who did do the training and played travel and AAU can get cut from high school teams.

My other child plays tennis. That child has been playing tennis since preschool. If another kid dabbled in tennis playing once a week, it would be hard for that child to compete against my child who played for 10+ years almost daily. Even though my kid played a lot, compared to the more elite players in high school, it feels we didn’t train enough.

This is a very competitive area and it isn’t the way it was for us when we were in high school where you can just make the high school team if you are athletic.

[Anonymous]

Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

NOOOOOOOOO. It is supposed to be fun. I am beginning to think this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

OP my kid is good enough for travel but we’re sticking with rec because she wants to do other sports and being on travel soccer is too much of a commitment for that.
You need to get out of the travel mindset and be ok with rec unless you want it taking over your life and wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

No, I would not push a 4 year old. I’m the pp who said I have kids in middle and high school.

Seniors all had to make college decisions so my child’s high school is bustling with students talking about where they are going to college. I’m a freshman mom so I only know a handful of these parents but the kids going to tip top colleges seem like the parents are type an and what people on this board would call pushy. My brief encounters with these parents have shown me they are extremely involved and vested in their children. I’m sure there are some kids who are completely motivated and somehow navigated and will be successful but in UMC neighborhoods, the kids have lots of support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

Stop sock puppeting the thread we already answered

Op - how am I sock puppeting this thread? I identified myself as op. The previous poster said their kid was doing tennis in pre school. I responded about my preschooler.

I’m that pp. that child always liked tennis. That child hated swim team and also played soccer for 8 years. I made that child do swim team for 2 years complaining and then stopped. I was satisfied child could swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

No, you don't push him. I think you know this. Baseball is a skill set where you don't have to be super serious at 4 (four!). But if you were really a competitive athlete growing up I'd think you know this?

[Anonymous]

I want my kids to be able to try everything and let them figure out what they enjoy and are good at. If they show promise, put them in more training then. If your child needs more, you will know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

No, you don't push him. I think you know this. Baseball is a skill set where you don't have to be super serious at 4 (four!). But if you were really a competitive athlete growing up I'd think you know this?

OP - I did not grow up here and we did not start travel sports until middle school. I grew up in a rural area where it wasn't as competitive to make a team. We had try outs but as long as you were a pretty decent athlete you made the team. I was asked to play college (D1 but small SLAC) but decided not to since my parents made it known that I had to graduate in 4 years no matte what and I was pre-med with a heavy science course load. I didn't know how to handle sports and that major in college so I gave up sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is a very competitive area. But to what costs? Is it really worth it?

My 4 year old plays t ball. He hates practice during the week after a full day of daycare. He cries and doesn’t want to practice. Loves games on the weekend though when he is rested and hasn’t been in daycare all day. But during the week after being “on” all day at daycare he is miserable.

Do I push him even though he is crying? Make him practice?

Op here

Just play games and skip the practices, as a coach I'm sure all my players would opt for this if it was allowed. Not really a great lesson for how to succeed in life though. Next time he complains about practice hold him out from the game that weekend, the complaints will stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - thanks for all the sane replies. I think it is this area that the competitiveness of the parents come out. Whether its sports or academics - the amount of PUSH that comes from parents at such a young age is totally disconcerting for me.

My sister and I were both captains of all our varsity teams, top 10 in our classes in high school and college, but our parents weren't really involved in much. They drove us to sports and told us to apply for college. That was about it.

In the DMV its just a constant barrage of parents pushing their kids to do travel sports, Kumon math, tutoring, etc starting at kindergarten. Not sure where it ends.

This is 100% IMO where the overbearing parents who cant let their kids go or fail or anything because theyve hyper-invested in their kids and their kids have never self-driven themselves on any area of their life. Their parents have structured their entire life and the resulting kids dont know how to overcome adversity by themselves, train/practice/learn by themselves, etc.

Totally disagree with your statement. It appears you have not realized that screens have totally changed childhood. When we were kids (I’m in my 40’s) you had to make a lot of your own fun you rode bikes with friends, you mowed lawns for pocket money, played pick up basketball etc. now all of these kids have access to all the electronic entertainment they could ever want. As a result if you don’t want a kid Who is overweight out of shape and very little social contact you have to be intentional about your kids’ activities in a way that our parents didn’t.

All of these enrichment activities are way easier than doing it on your own. You could set up weekly play dates for your kids go bike riding with them take them to the playground every day etc. or you could drop them off at the field somewhere. I’ve done both and I can tell you the sports are way easier.