Why did grandparents in the 70s-90s seem older but yet more able bodied than younger looking grandparents today?

[Anonymous]

I agree that Boomer grandparents are hands off. But then on the other hand they demand a lot. They want a command performance from grandkids on every holiday and don’t care about the stress it puts on their kids. It’s the worst of both worlds- little help and more demands.

[Anonymous]

People saying they “looked older” due to hairstyle, as if numbers lie! My grandfather was 70 when I was 13, which is how old my daughter is, and my mother is 72.

It’s night and day.

I vividly remember spending time with my grandfather at the condo they moved into when I was 13. He passed away when I was 18, so these memories would have been either when he was 70, or between then and when he was 75, and his last year was not good.

I remember what a vibrant host he was to my parents. His condo backed to a wooded area and he would walk my parents along the perimeter of his condo, pointing out things in his garden. He played golf. He traveled. He visited with friends.

My parents can barely walk to the mailbox. They are curmudgeons. They do nothing but grocery shop.

My DH grandparents recently passed, all around 80. All were spry until the day they died. Golfing, boating, traveling, doing things with friends.

Numbers don’t lie.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thank you all for your observations. I’m curious if anyone has children that spend the summer with grandparents? That was also a common family tradition when I was growing up for so many friends and family members. I feel like it’s rare to hear about these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent here. I'm 80. All my grandparents and one of my parents were dead by this age. I'm doing great; keep house; help out with grandkids.

You've got some serious ageism going on here. Also you probably need a larger sample from which to generalize.

Isn't a sample size of 4 enough?

All you need is Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies & Uncle Joe (“he’s a movin’ kinda slow…”) on Petticoat Junction to know that old people were pretty out of it back in the 1960s. They’d been born before the Wright Brothers flew, & lived through a big depression & a passel of wars. They wore stiff leather shoes, didn’t have Gore-Tex nothin’ & used a damn road map to find places, so no wonder they were pissed off & worn out!

Maybe they were used to not doing much, so they do even less in their old age? Maybe it is a middle-upper class thing - to feel more entitled, and watch the world go by? My parents had no choice but to work, so they were always on the move, and the television was hardly ever on, unless they made it to the 11PM news. Which they rarely did, because they were up and out at 6 AM for their 9-5, which usually ran hours well past 5. People who hustle for a living, because they have no choice, have a different life than the upper middle who moves at a snails pace, by habit and way of life. I know some people barely in their 60's today who act like they are in their 80's. Yes, they were handed everything. When you have to work for what you have, life is different. Thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your premise is wrong! Grandparents today are more able bodied and live longer.

More able bodied, live longer…..but a lot less less hands on.

My grandparents were basically like nannies. Same with all my friends growing up - I knew so many of their grandparents because they were always doing school pickup, giving us rides to sports games at other schools, etc. In white middle class households in the 80s and 90s I felt like our grandparents were often standing in for our working Boomer parents. I had multiple friends being raised by their grandparents.

Maybe it’s because I’m UMC today, but it feels like Boomer grandparents are a lot more hands-off and self-focused.

I could have written same post. Boomer grandparents are just hands off!

DP here. They are selfish, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent here. I'm 80. All my grandparents and one of my parents were dead by this age. I'm doing great; keep house; help out with grandkids.

You've got some serious ageism going on here. Also you probably need a larger sample from which to generalize.

This.

OP, you are only remembering people who were alive. There was a lot less medical intervention available 30-50 years ago. You were either healthy or dead.

LOL

In 1994 there were elderly people. They weren’t all healthy or dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your premise is wrong! Grandparents today are more able bodied and live longer.

More able bodied, live longer…..but a lot less less hands on.

My grandparents were basically like nannies. Same with all my friends growing up - I knew so many of their grandparents because they were always doing school pickup, giving us rides to sports games at other schools, etc. In white middle class households in the 80s and 90s I felt like our grandparents were often standing in for our working Boomer parents. I had multiple friends being raised by their grandparents.

Maybe it’s because I’m UMC today, but it feels like Boomer grandparents are a lot more hands-off and self-focused.

I could have written same post. Boomer grandparents are just hands off!

DP here. They are selfish, IMO.

Can we stop with the age generalizations? It’s exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparent here. I'm 80. All my grandparents and one of my parents were dead by this age. I'm doing great; keep house; help out with grandkids.

You've got some serious ageism going on here. Also you probably need a larger sample from which to generalize.

Isn't a sample size of 4 enough?

All you need is Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies & Uncle Joe (“he’s a movin’ kinda slow…”) on Petticoat Junction to know that old people were pretty out of it back in the 1960s. They’d been born before the Wright Brothers flew, & lived through a big depression & a passel of wars. They wore stiff leather shoes, didn’t have Gore-Tex nothin’ & used a damn road map to find places, so no wonder they were pissed off & worn out!

Maybe they were used to not doing much, so they do even less in their old age? Maybe it is a middle-upper class thing - to feel more entitled, and watch the world go by? My parents had no choice but to work, so they were always on the move, and the television was hardly ever on, unless they made it to the 11PM news. Which they rarely did, because they were up and out at 6 AM for their 9-5, which usually ran hours well past 5. People who hustle for a living, because they have no choice, have a different life than the upper middle who moves at a snails pace, by habit and way of life. I know some people barely in their 60's today who act like they are in their 80's. Yes, they were handed everything. When you have to work for what you have, life is different. Thankfully.

Agree. Both of my parents are still working by choice and didn't inherit much of anything- the little they did was put in 529s for our college. They are active, involved with the grandkids. My MIL never worked and FIL retired mid 50s when his parents passed and he received a big inheritance. Now, 10 years later they can barely walk down the street, one needed a triple bypass, etc. They want to go on vacations where they sit and are served a lot of food. They do not want to be playing with our young children or do any childcare at all really- they barely wanted to hold our babies. Their parents were also very different- slim, active, hardworking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They grew up in a less polluted and degraded world. Strong infants survived their childhoods and grew up to have a good immune system. They also did not have junk food (because of cost) available, and they did a lot more physical labor. They did not have so many chemicals and endocrine disrupters in their system like today.

Now, we survive childhood diseases and get many medical interventions. However, we are frail because we have environmental pollution, lack of physical activity, junk food, lack human connection and sense of family, too many medical interventions to prolong our lives - and we are not only dying early but we have a bad quality of life when we are alive.

I have to laugh at the less polluted comment. That is definitely not the case. We know so much more about the effect of certain things (contamination in the lakes/rivers/swimming holes, smoking, asbestos, etc). You’d be scared entering their world today.

[Anonymous]

They had a lot of physical activity in their daily life.

They were outside a lot.

They were not overweight. Some would be maybe 10 or 20 pounds overweight but they were not morbidly obese.

They helped out in the community. They helped out with church. They helped their neighbor rebuild his combine when his combine broke down in the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They looked older but they were younger. They had pensions and could retire earlier and had their kids in their 20s and had grandkids in their 50s.

This

Agree. A lot of my friend’s grandparents had first kids in early 20s (22-24) and ditto their parents. I had my first at nearly 40 — the same age my great grandmothers were having their 6th or 7th child.

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people in their 60s and 70s who are very fit and active. A lot of them do aerobic exercise and lift weights most days.

I will say that quite a few of these people are retired military or spouses of retired military. I think physical activity is just baked into military life, so those folks just continue those habits as they age.