Survey question about money and ethics

[Anonymous]

Is this like "I know your house is sitting on oil, but you don't", or "grandad is writing a will and dying, and doesn't know his lost grandchild is still alive?"

[Anonymous]

OP here, so let me explain why I feel it is mine and not shared. My wife and I are going to get separated. About a year ago a relative passed away and unexpectedly left me a fair sum. Even then my wife & I kinda both knew things were on the rocks, so I only told her about a tiny part of this relative's holding. She knows nothing of the major windfall. This relative was not on her side of the family. The trust wasn't set up correctly so the funds have been held up. With a bit more delay I think I can probably keep it all. Or I could funnel the money into another. Either way, regardless of legal claim, it becomes practically difficult to do anything about this after separation. I just need to keep her in the dark a bit more. We're splitting all the other assets. She doesn't really need extra. And if we had separated just a bit earlier, she wouldn't have any claim on an unrelated person's inheritance. Why should she now have a claim by this chance? It's MY relative. And -- despite the fact that I'm telling her our split is mutually amicable -- she's never really respected or appreciated me. Why should I even consider sharing?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]OP here, so let me explain why I feel it is mine and not shared. My wife and I are going to get separated. About a year ago a relative passed away and unexpectedly left me a fair sum. Even then my wife & I kinda both knew things were on the rocks, so I only told her about a tiny part of this relative's holding. She knows nothing of the major windfall. This relative was not on her side of the family. The trust wasn't set up correctly so the funds have been held up. With a bit more delay I think I can probably keep it all. Or I could funnel the money into another. Either way, regardless of legal claim, it becomes practically difficult to do anything about this after separation. I just need to keep her in the dark a bit more. We're splitting all the other assets. She doesn't really need extra. And if we had separated just a bit earlier, she wouldn't have any claim on an unrelated person's inheritance. Why should she now have a claim by this chance? It's MY relative. And -- despite the fact that I'm telling her our split is mutually amicable -- she's never really respected or appreciated me. Why should I even consider sharing?[/quote]

You’re an idiot.

Inheritance is not marital assets. FFS.

This is not legally her money.

Get the money and put it in your own account so it’s never commingled with marital money.

[Anonymous]

With OP's explanation, he should tell his STBX wife, especially if they have kids. Not sure what the divorce laws would say about the issue.

For a generic answer, and if I am answering honestly, probably B or C. And I would avoid the person to avoid having to lie.

[Anonymous]

You’re an idiot.

Inheritance is not marital assets. FFS.

This is not legally her money.

Get the money and put it in your own account so it’s never commingled with marital money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With OP's explanation, he should tell his STBX wife, especially if they have kids. Not sure what the divorce laws would say about the issue.

For a generic answer, and if I am answering honestly, probably B or C. And I would avoid the person to avoid having to lie.

Inheritance is NOT a marital asset.

[Anonymous]

F …. It’s still all your money

[Anonymous]

Putting aside whether or not the inheritance will be considered a marital asset in your jurisdiction, I would be really surprised if the interrogatories you received did not include a question about upcoming funds to be received.

So your hypothetical is missing what is likely a significant point which is that you most likely have a legal obligation to disclose the upcoming receipt of funds.

Ask your lawyer if the monies are subject to being split in the divorce. If not, why would you lie in your sworn response when you don't even need to?

[Anonymous]

This would never be your spouse’s to access unless you commingled the funds.

[Anonymous]

F

It's still found money for you, either way. This way it's not found money with a feeling that you're a creep willing to cheat for a little bit extra attached to it.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]OP here, so let me explain why I feel it is mine and not shared. My wife and I are going to get separated. About a year ago a relative passed away and unexpectedly left me a fair sum. Even then my wife & I kinda both knew things were on the rocks, so I only told her about a tiny part of this relative's holding. She knows nothing of the major windfall. This relative was not on her side of the family. The trust wasn't set up correctly so the funds have been held up. With a bit more delay I think I can probably keep it all. Or I could funnel the money into another. Either way, regardless of legal claim, it becomes practically difficult to do anything about this after separation. I just need to keep her in the dark a bit more. We're splitting all the other assets. She doesn't really need extra. And [b]if we had separated just a bit earlier, she wouldn't have any claim on an unrelated person's inheritance.[/b] Why should she now have a claim by this chance? It's MY relative. And -- despite the fact that I'm telling her our split is mutually amicable -- she's never really respected or appreciated me. Why should I even consider sharing?[/quote]

She never would have had any claim on inheritance unless and until it is commingled; date of death does not matter. But that said, given that you (incorrectly) believe she is legally entitled to a share of this money and you are trying to figure out a way to trick her out of it, what is there to respect or appreciate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would never be your spouse’s to access unless you commingled the funds.

This. So, doesn't matter if you tell her or not. Just never commingle the funds.

[Anonymous]

The only circumstance I can envision NOT doing F is if it was, like, I found out about some government program with a fixed pot of money that my acquaintance was also eligible for but didn't know about before the application deadline -- I don't think you're morally obligated to inform them. But it's a dumb toy example because as everyone has already said, your inheritance is not a marital asset and your wife has no right to it.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]OP here, so let me explain why I feel it is mine and not shared. My wife and I are going to get separated. About a year ago a relative passed away and unexpectedly left me a fair sum. Even then my wife & I kinda both knew things were on the rocks, so I only told her about a tiny part of this relative's holding. She knows nothing of the major windfall. This relative was not on her side of the family. The trust wasn't set up correctly so the funds have been held up. With a bit more delay I think I can probably keep it all. Or I could funnel the money into another. Either way, regardless of legal claim, it becomes practically difficult to do anything about this after separation. I just need to keep her in the dark a bit more. We're splitting all the other assets. She doesn't really need extra. And if we had separated just a bit earlier, she wouldn't have any claim on an unrelated person's inheritance. Why should she now have a claim by this chance? It's MY relative. And -- despite the fact that I'm telling her our split is mutually amicable -- she's never really respected or appreciated me. Why should I even consider sharing?[/quote]

This is so easy. You talk to a lawyer and give her the legally required minimum, which is probably zero. You don't even need to be dishonest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would never be your spouse’s to access unless you commingled the funds.

This wound up being anti climactic.