What to do with my parents things???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were closing up my parents' home we listed a lot of furniture for free on Facebook marketplace. People came to the house to pick it up and were heartbreakingly grateful.

Yeah but you'll still get people who want you to deliver it to them.

Plus people who try the cashier's check scam ("I want you to ship me the furniture, I'll send you a cashier's check for it").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly real wood furniture is not in style now. Young people want furniture made in China.

Check auction houses and estate sales houses.

This is absolutely not true. I love antiques and go to all the estate sales and the quality stuff gets sold within an hour. There are a lot of people who flip them on Facebook. The young people buy antiques and recycled items. I dropped some things at goodwill and the store was full of young hipsters.

https://www.theartnewspaper.com/2022/08/05/influencers-and-antiques-how-a-new-generation-is-transforming-the-market

https://www.asheford.com/asheford-news-ticker-headlines/are-young-people-driving-antique-vintage-prices-into-the-stratosphere

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/lifestyle_homes/a25949359/antiques-popular-millennials/

[Anonymous]

I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we were closing up my parents' home we listed a lot of furniture for free on Facebook marketplace. People came to the house to pick it up and were heartbreakingly grateful.

Yeah but you'll still get people who want you to deliver it to them.

Plus people who try the cashier's check scam ("I want you to ship me the furniture, I'll send you a cashier's check for it").

And you deal with that by just saying No. Or "Sorry, no," if a plain "No" seems too harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

But you aren't giving it away. It's not worth anything, or auction houses would want to sell it.

We hired an estate sale company to deal with a relative's house, and they picked the easiest, most obvious saleable items, then left. As we dug though what remained, we can upon a box labeled "Silver" that, indeed, had family silver in it. The estate sale people had looked for silver in the sideboard, but anything that was going to take a little time to find was, statistically, not worth it to them.

By all means, did through stuff to find treasures. The odds that you'll find anything are very, very slim. Financially, it makes more sense to get the house emptied so you can put it on the market as quickly as possible.

[Anonymous]

Capital consignments and owner Judith does a good job. See on fb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Estate sales companies enrich themselves, not you.

Call a couple of auction houses to see if they want your stuff. They charge lower commissions than estate sales companies.

If the auction houses don't want it, try Freecycle or Buy Nothing. The idea is not to get money out of it, but not to have to pay to get rid of it.

Finally, there are junk haulers, some of which work with charities so you can donate the stuff. But it may be landfill time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

Start by picking a couple of things you think are worth the most. Try selling them, and keep track of how much time it takes you to to get it fully gone, including photographing and emailing potential buyers, driving a load of stuff to a charming place that will sell on commission, etc.

I am one of the people who keeps saying it's not actually worth anything, and I don't mean to breeze past the fact that for some people, $1000 is going to pay for a month of PT for your parent. Just understand that getting that $1000 may take 100 hours of work. Can you spare it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

Start by picking a couple of things you think are worth the most. Try selling them, and keep track of how much time it takes you to to get it fully gone, including photographing and emailing potential buyers, driving a load of stuff to a charming place that will sell on commission, etc.

I am one of the people who keeps saying it's not actually worth anything, and I don't mean to breeze past the fact that for some people, $1000 is going to pay for a month of PT for your parent. Just understand that getting that $1000 may take 100 hours of work. Can you spare it?

I’m the PP and logically I know you’re 100% right and I’m going to be drowning in this stuff for a long time. I don’t know why I can’t just let go. I don’t want any of it and my kids don’t want it. What is wrong with me?? Maybe I should host an open house with all my friends and let them go through the stuff, then donate. At least that way it may bring people I care about joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

There was an article in the post about a couple who did that. It worked pretty well!
DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

Start by picking a couple of things you think are worth the most. Try selling them, and keep track of how much time it takes you to to get it fully gone, including photographing and emailing potential buyers, driving a load of stuff to a charming place that will sell on commission, etc.

I am one of the people who keeps saying it's not actually worth anything, and I don't mean to breeze past the fact that for some people, $1000 is going to pay for a month of PT for your parent. Just understand that getting that $1000 may take 100 hours of work. Can you spare it?

I’m the PP and logically I know you’re 100% right and I’m going to be drowning in this stuff for a long time. I don’t know why I can’t just let go. I don’t want any of it and my kids don’t want it. What is wrong with me?? Maybe I should host an open house with all my friends and let them go through the stuff, then donate. At least that way it may bring people I care about joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

There was an article in the post about a couple who did that. It worked pretty well!
DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

Start by picking a couple of things you think are worth the most. Try selling them, and keep track of how much time it takes you to to get it fully gone, including photographing and emailing potential buyers, driving a load of stuff to a charming place that will sell on commission, etc.

I am one of the people who keeps saying it's not actually worth anything, and I don't mean to breeze past the fact that for some people, $1000 is going to pay for a month of PT for your parent. Just understand that getting that $1000 may take 100 hours of work. Can you spare it?

I’m the PP and logically I know you’re 100% right and I’m going to be drowning in this stuff for a long time. I don’t know why I can’t just let go. I don’t want any of it and my kids don’t want it. What is wrong with me?? Maybe I should host an open house with all my friends and let them go through the stuff, then donate. At least that way it may bring people I care about joy.

That could work!

At least, it did for these people:
https://wapo.st/4cr2n8l

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

I really don't understand people who greedily cling to whatever value is left in an item that was long since paid for and used well for decades. If you're not willing to donate such an item to charity to help a young family starting out - like your folks were once - and you'd rather lose time from work and family time to sort painstakingly through and find a way to squeeze a few more dollars from the value of an old dining table etc. - well I guess you're very frugal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, it's comforting to know an item found a good home. But if you can let-go of this thinking, this need to know, the process is so much easier. Donate. Have some trust in the universe, that the item will be found by someone who needs it. Someone who wants it. Donate freely without knowing. Let go of the mindset that you should be getting what-it's-worth. Not every decision needs to be maximized. It's charity. It's a charitable act.

DP I want to have this mindset but it is very hard to overcome the thoughts about how much money I might potentially be giving away.

Me too. The PP pointed out the stuff isn’t worth anything. But collectively it is. I’m the one who has $10k worth of $20-$200 items. It’s hard when it’s so much stuff. I’m back and forth between selling on Facebook marketplace, finding an auction house that will take lower value items or finding a consignment store. There’s an adorable shop in Gainesville or Haymarket (?) that takes cute things. I don’t know their commission structure but at this point don’t care. I’m also going to send some high end clothes to ThredUp. May not make a penny but I’ll feel better about the situation. I’m drowning in stuff.

Start by picking a couple of things you think are worth the most. Try selling them, and keep track of how much time it takes you to to get it fully gone, including photographing and emailing potential buyers, driving a load of stuff to a charming place that will sell on commission, etc.

I am one of the people who keeps saying it's not actually worth anything, and I don't mean to breeze past the fact that for some people, $1000 is going to pay for a month of PT for your parent. Just understand that getting that $1000 may take 100 hours of work. Can you spare it?

I’m the PP and logically I know you’re 100% right and I’m going to be drowning in this stuff for a long time. I don’t know why I can’t just let go. I don’t want any of it and my kids don’t want it. What is wrong with me?? Maybe I should host an open house with all my friends and let them go through the stuff, then donate. At least that way it may bring people I care about joy.

I think this is a good idea.