Do you think a man’s career is boosted by his relationship?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My career took a backseat to my husbands even though we both had Ivy MBAs and early on good careers. Once we had our second child I continued to work but at a much better work/life job and I was happy with that. I was very supportive of his career and we had a very loving relationship such that he didn’t want to work late at night or on weekends because he really loved being home with me and our children. He is now retired but he had a wonderfully successful career and I know he gives me and our relationship a lot of credit. What was really nice was that once we were empty nesters he was incredibly supportive of the very different career choices I made that were all about personal fulfillment.

[Anonymous]

I made some big bets in my career that really paid off but I could not have made them without the support of my wife. It would have been easy to spend my life rising slowly in a big company and doing fine. She always had the confidence in me that the bets would pay off and I worked my butt off to justify her confidence. Without her I would have done fine. With her I did great and she enjoys the benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.

Pfffft. No. The only effect a relationship can have on your career is negative - if she's being a pain in the ass and you're on the road to divorce, all that stress at home can distract you from getting things done at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My career took a backseat to my husbands even though we both had Ivy MBAs and early on good careers. Once we had our second child I continued to work but at a much better work/life job and I was happy with that. I was very supportive of his career and we had a very loving relationship such that he didn’t want to work late at night or on weekends because he really loved being home with me and our children. He is now retired but he had a wonderfully successful career and I know he gives me and our relationship a lot of credit. What was really nice was that once we were empty nesters he was incredibly supportive of the very different career choices I made that were all about personal fulfillment.

That's key. And is NOT every MBA career man's mindset nor skillset.

My father was a work hard / play hard well-rounded MBA type and former engineer. He put family first and picks up the phone ANY time someone calls him direct, if only to say I'm busy but will call you back during lunch or at the racquet club or when driving home.

My spouse was only the work hard at the office MBA type who said everything you wanted to hear but did the opposite. No amount of cute kids or love or pampering him at home was going to change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels like he would have had a more aggressive climb if he had met me years earlier, I’m not sure why.

Aggressive climb as in faster? To look like a stable married family man would have been beneficial?

Or aggressive pikemen would have had to have been more aggressive with you and at work to handle that all while being married and spending time outside the office on perps al or family matters?

He was married to someone else but thinks he would have risen further faster married to me. I’m not sure why. There were ways in which he held back investing in that relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels like he would have had a more aggressive climb if he had met me years earlier, I’m not sure why.

Aggressive climb as in faster? To look like a stable married family man would have been beneficial?

Or aggressive pikemen would have had to have been more aggressive with you and at work to handle that all while being married and spending time outside the office on perps al or family matters?

He was married to someone else but thinks he would have risen further faster married to me. I’m not sure why. There were ways in which he held back investing in that relationship.

Did he have children with either first wife or second wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels like he would have had a more aggressive climb if he had met me years earlier, I’m not sure why.

Aggressive climb as in faster? To look like a stable married family man would have been beneficial?

Or aggressive pikemen would have had to have been more aggressive with you and at work to handle that all while being married and spending time outside the office on perps al or family matters?

He was married to someone else but thinks he would have risen further faster married to me. I’m not sure why. There were ways in which he held back investing in that relationship.

Did he have children with either first wife or second wife?

One with first wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels like he would have had a more aggressive climb if he had met me years earlier, I’m not sure why.

Aggressive climb as in faster? To look like a stable married family man would have been beneficial?

Or aggressive pikemen would have had to have been more aggressive with you and at work to handle that all while being married and spending time outside the office on perps al or family matters?

He was married to someone else but thinks he would have risen further faster married to me. I’m not sure why. There were ways in which he held back investing in that relationship.

Did he have children with either first wife or second wife?

But if we had met earlier we would have had our own children so I don’t think that is the reason, although maybe we could have afforded more help.

[Anonymous]

Yes, women can make it so a man can go full throttle into his career..however the main beneficiary of that hard work usually misses no chance to complain and make his life stressful and conflicted thus shortening his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.

I wouldn't count on it. Maybe - just maybe - a person would do all the things you've listed after becoming a parent. But plenty of women test that theory to their disappointment.

With or without me my DH is a very ambitious man, but being in a stable relationship has assisted with the first three points you excluded.

[Anonymous]

Being in a good marriage does not increase drive, etc. The things you asked about.

But it absolutely does increase making good decisions, having a sounding board, better social skills, maturity etc., that are extremely helpful assets in your career. This is not gender specific. Women also get this benefit in their own careers.

Unless you are POTUS, there's no sahw benefit, like "oh without me staying home my DH couldn't never have been as successful as he is."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.

No.

Personal stuff of any sort is not a plus in the working world, for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not talking about social advantage, networking, or practical support at home. I’m asking whether having a loving relationship translates into increased ambition, drive, follow through, goal setting or achievement for a man. Or does water reach its level irrespective of emotional support.

1000% and same goes for a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything, I think deep love and connection at home might calm ambition. You have less of a need to prove something if you have a good home life.

Nothing can calm or create ambition but a devoted and emotionally intelligent spouse sure can make it easier to climb higher.

[Anonymous]

*calm or ignite