What would you do? Too much on my plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As much as we tell ourselves you can do anything you want, it’s simply not true. Children are limiting and small children are very limiting. That’s why we encourage youngsters to get their degree before getting pregnant even though it’s much better to have your children in your early 20s, because trying to raise children and be in school is extremely difficult without a lot of generational support or hired help.

I’m really sorry, OP, but you have to back off on your commitments for now. I work in IT and rarely work overtime and have been able to raise my only child successfully with a good work life balance.

Thank you. I have a degree in social work, but thought I would like to try something in the STEM or medical field.

I'm realizing now nursing is not realistic at this stage in my life. There's no way I would be able to manage the in-person labs for nursing or clinical placements.

I'd like to think about IT or cybersecurity though, I've done the math requirements at least. Not sure IT would be as demanding for in-person classes or practicum hours though.

You need to stop jumping from career idea to career idea. The time for that was before you had kids. Figure out how to use the degree you have in a way that supports what you and your family need.

I don’t think it is too late for OP to have one career change.

She seems kind of all over the place though. I don’t think a regular nursing job will pay much more than what she is currently earning. She may even earn less. She is not doing well in her class and has admitted this is not her forte in academics.

OP, do you want more children? Going to school and changing careers may delay you having another child.

[Anonymous]

You need part-time childcare for the after school hours. Someone who will pick up your son from school, take him to the park for two hours and then bring him home for a bit while you finish up your work day, get dinner started, etc. I would pause on the class for now and revisit once your childcare situation is established.

[Anonymous]

Just came here to say I wouldn't consider computer programming right now. It'll take years and years to be good enough to get a great job, and the tech market right now is abysmal.

On the other hand, everyone needs nurses.

[Anonymous]

You need to put your child in a full day childcare program.

[Anonymous]

Your husband gets home at 5:30. He needs to be responsible for the child until they both go to sleep. Why isn't your husband making dinner?

[Anonymous]

Get your child in a full time day care program. You are cheating your job if you are watching your child while you are charging them for your hours.

Why are you trying to switch careers? If I were you, I’d stick with the job I had and stop school. It would be different if you had more help and if it was going to be a higher paying job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 70% may not be "failing" the course. It is often curved. Finish the course. Nothing else needs to be decided. Finish something you have started.

I don’t know how competitive it is to get into a nursing program.

Do you need good grades?

I would drop the class for now.

I am assuming this is community college. Are you young? Were you a teen mom?

If you don’t have a degree and not earning a high income, I would consider going into debt and going to school full time.

Quite competitive with a limited number of spots, a 2.0 GPA is the minimum, which means I would need to get at least 73-76% in my pre-requisites. I'm sitting at about a 3.3GPA, but not doing well in chemistry. I still have 3 more courses to go.

It's a community college course. I'm 34, I graduated with a bachelors in social work in 2014 but didn't take any math or science courses at all, it has never been my forte. I've been in my field for over a decade and earn ~110K as a supervisor. I had my son when I was 29.

Nursing is not a better paying job unless you become a nurse practitioner.

Do you have family close by? You need help to do this.

I have a friend who is doing her prerequisites for nursing but she is a SAHM. Even without a job, she is finding it difficult to study and do all her work while kids are out of the house as she can’t get anything done when kids are in the house. She has 2 kids, not just 1. Like you, she majored in a non science and very rusty. I think her husband takes the kids on weekends so she can study.

Can your husband give you at least one full day to sfudy?

wtf - could she beg her husband to give her time to study? Why doesn’t he see this unsustainable situation?

Why isn’t he finding HIS child childcare from 3 until he can pick the kid up, why isn’t there a conversation about how to manage things that affect both of them - like dinner

I love how women come here to ask how to function when there is another adult at home who can do things besides exist.

Oh please honey could you babysit your child and order pizza on Saturday so I can study.

[Anonymous]

You are certainly a hard worker even though you are quite strained.

I think you can drop the class without shame. Everyone at some point in life takes on more than they can handle. This is your situation, with your husband's recent job change and young child. $600 is a fair amount of money but not a devastating loss.

However, I would recommend that you seek advice from your professor and college counselor before you do so. Make sure there is no other option that can help you improve. Be brave and ask for help and advice non-anonymously in the real world. Is there any other mother or sympathetic young woman in the class you could connect with?

Regarding noisy children in the background and Zoom fails, since pandemic wfh, I've seen everything from a VP's daughter passing through in pajamas to use the printer to background violin lessons to pets jumping on keyboards and cutting off the cameras. People with older kids certainly have them around. We do not have a rule that people have to have childcare/prove childcare. Generally the parents of infants and toddlers do have it. And now we are back in office 3 days per week. I don't know how noisy your kid was but at my work, as long as they were off camera 99% of the time and not heard, nobody would care they were there. Just sharing so you don't worry that your situation is out of line in general. However, do what you can to make sure you fit your current workplace's norms.

You're trying hard, and I admire that. Good luck to you in working things out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be tempted to drop the class for now and put school on hold for the rest of this year. Next year your son will be in K and you can get aftercare. See how it goes and if you are still interested, go back t school next spring. Your husband’s job should be more stable by then.

+1
Focus now on keeping the job you have. It would be a disaster to get fired. Your husband should pick up some more overtime and that will allow you to pay for a sitter even 2 days after school. You can’t be working and watching him at the same time. Also if your dh is home before you’re done working, he needs to get dinner ready

[Anonymous]

First -- damn. That's a lot.

Second -- go to the head of your nursing course and tell them you are struggling because you have too many tasks on your plate. Be very direct; tell them that you fully believe that you are capable of the work but right now you are struggling to learn because other responsibilities and you don't believe that your grade is reflective of your true capability. See what they say. Course administrators want to see their students succeed and they may have options you haven't thought of. Ask if they know if there's any funding available.

[Anonymous]

You need to be a SAHM. You exactly fit the profile of a typical SAHM. Stop over complicating your life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would spend all your energy on finding a new wfh job thats different hours. This is unsustainable and you will burn out.

Her job hours seem pretty normal. Where are these well paying remote work flexible hour jobs you speak of?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband gets home at 5:30. He needs to be responsible for the child until they both go to sleep. Why isn't your husband making dinner?

This. You both work normal hours. Trade off who makes dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband gets home at 5:30. He needs to be responsible for the child until they both go to sleep. Why isn't your husband making dinner?

This. You both work normal hours. Trade off who makes dinner.

Except she doesn’t work on Fridays? Op, what do you do on Friday?

[Anonymous]

There are several issues in your post and I would try and address them separately:

- Child being heard during work meeting. What is your company policy with regards to child care? You might need to switch to a more full time alternative that goes to 5 or 6. I know my boss is pretty flexible if a kid is home cause of illness or the final hour after school gets out but your environment may not be that flexible. If a kid is at home it is almost impossible to keep them quiet a the time.
- Overall work hours. Looks like you are working 4 10s. I am sure the day off is great but can you go back to a 9-5 schedule? That would allow more flexibility in the evening.
- Nursing school. I would drop the class, you have too much going on. I also wouldn't necessarily think an additional degree is the answer. Can you take on some tasks in your current role that allow you to make a pivot.
- Husbands lack of flexibility - Not sure of a solution here but I would expect him to step it up when he is home.