DD -9 swimming still using water wings

[Anonymous]

Lose the water wings permanently. Like misplace them. And get 1 on 1 lessons or Goldfish. Let her learn at her own pace so that it’s not scary, but she does need to learn.

My daughter’s 6 year old friend would only go in the pool with water wings on this summer when we had pool play dates and wouldn’t put her face in, and I wondered why her parents weren’t prioritizing swim lessons. It’s a life skill and safety issue.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of water wings immediately! Should have thrown them away 4 years ago! Just introduce her to the shallow end of the pool, give her a noodle, and let her stay there until she is ready to put her head in and glide. Even if she is terrified, there is zero reason to keep up the water wings, they are harming her. Just let her stay as shallow as she wants until she is comfortable with other devices.

My oldest was swimming full laps by age 5. We did group and 1-1 lessons, but he picked it up fast. Diving board and deep end at age 6. My youngest was a little more cautious but could swim unassisted by 6. 9 is way way way too old.

[Anonymous]

Wow I felt like a failure when I had a 5 year old who wasn’t swimming on their own yet.

[Anonymous]

1-1 as soon as possible. And ditch the water wings. They are not helping her.

I promise you she will be swimming in to time at all.

[Anonymous]

She is way past the weight for water wings. At this point they are dangerous and giving her a false sense of security. What happens when the water wing pops and she’s in deeper water? I can’t believe you don’t want 1:1 lessons! At this point that is what she needs. After age 5-6 the fear increases tremendously and it becomes even more difficult to learn. You shouldn’t have stopped lessons last year. The fact that she was terrified was the sign that actually needed more help.

[Anonymous]

I know this isn’t helpful for you op but I hope other parents reading this take this as a lesson- parents should never use water wings to start with. They do not help kids to swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn’t helpful for you op but I hope other parents reading this take this as a lesson- parents should never use water wings to start with. They do not help kids to swim.

Yeah i fewl bad for op because obviously that info doesn't help you and you dont need a reason to feel worse, but to anyone else with toddlers, stop now!

[Anonymous]

OP here - feel awful I've given my daughter a fear of water, definitely not the aim of a dad. I've wanted her to be comfortable and have fun, but realise this has become coddling. I've just booked some 1-1 lessons in our spare evenings (twice a week) .

I said this to he last night and she was already a little teary with fear (probably as we binned the water wings in the house). I know she will be fine and will ace it, how can I persuade her. It's not a fear of water it's the trust in herself to be able to do it. I don't understand why it's only with swimming as well as she's so confident and brave in other areas.

I will get her there one way or another!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By what age do kids know how to swim around here?

4-6 yo

Wow that seems young to me. I'm my area it's by age 8

I live here and agree it is young. People in the DMV are intense and weird about all these milestones -- swimming, riding a bike, potty training, you name it. Earlier is always better.

On the other hand, the intense pressure of this area meant my kid was a decent swimmer who didn't need any kind of floaty by age 5. I'll admit this is pretty nice when we go on vacation. Obviously you still have to watch the kids and I wouldn't let a 5 yr old go swimming alone, but it was pretty nice to know she has all the basic water safety skills and can even swim the full length of a pool at such a young age.

She still doesn't know how to ride a bike without training wheels though, and the parents in our neighborhood act like this might be a sign of special needs. Again, 5 years old. People here are crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn’t helpful for you op but I hope other parents reading this take this as a lesson- parents should never use water wings to start with. They do not help kids to swim.

Yeah i fewl bad for op because obviously that info doesn't help you and you dont need a reason to feel worse, but to anyone else with toddlers, stop now!

Eh, if you use them in coordination with regular swim lessons, it's fine. My kid used a puddle jumper (like a mini vest with attached wings) at the public pool until she was 5. We'd let her use it most of the time we were at the pool, but we'd encourage her to take it off for short periods to practice stuff from swim class. Sometimes she'd fight us on that, but usually she was fine with it as long as we were right next to her the whole time. One day she just said she didn't need it and she hasn't used it since.

Sometimes with kids who are sensitive or more fearful generally, it's necessary to give them a more gradual way to do something scary. Water wings or similar can be that for swimming -- it gets them in the water, it offers them a sense of security for a time. If you couple it with ALSO making sure they are learning the skills they will need to swim without the flotation device, it's okay. You just have to pay attention and keep encouraging them and moving them towards independent swimming, and not just figure "eh, they have water wings on, they'll get it eventually."

It does not have to be either or.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a safety issue and worth the coin for private lessons.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By what age do kids know how to swim around here?

If you have you child in the pool regularly as a toddler, and don’t use wings, or other floats as a crutch, but actively participate with them them in the pool and swimming, age 4 seems to be the natural time frame they can swim independently. But unfortunately, lots of parents throw on the floaties so they can be hands free. Teaching swimming is super easy, and you don’t need to be a great swimmer yourself. But it has to be done before they afraid of water or heavily reliant on floaties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - feel awful I've given my daughter a fear of water, definitely not the aim of a dad. I've wanted her to be comfortable and have fun, but realise this has become coddling. I've just booked some 1-1 lessons in our spare evenings (twice a week) .

I said this to he last night and she was already a little teary with fear (probably as we binned the water wings in the house). I know she will be fine and will ace it, how can I persuade her. It's not a fear of water it's the trust in herself to be able to do it. I don't understand why it's only with swimming as well as she's so confident and brave in other areas.

I will get her there one way or another!

Good for you for booking those lessons! My suggestion, if the swim instructor allows, it is for you to not be there watching. It’s much better if she cannot see you.

[Anonymous]

Find a pool with a shallow end where she can stand comfortably. Bring a soft ball and play catch (obviously not when it’s crowded). Throw the ball so that she has to occasionally stretch out for it. She’ll start lunging, pushing off, gliding her arms out, and getting her face wet — all precursors to actual swimming. Or you can play tag and get the same result. Keep it low-key and don’t nag her to practice; just get her comfortable moving through the water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By what age do kids know how to swim around here?

If you have you child in the pool regularly as a toddler, and don’t use wings, or other floats as a crutch, but actively participate with them them in the pool and swimming, age 4 seems to be the natural time frame they can swim independently. But unfortunately, lots of parents throw on the floaties so they can be hands free. Teaching swimming is super easy, and you don’t need to be a great swimmer yourself. But it has to be done before they afraid of water or heavily reliant on floaties.

There are a number of posts now purporting teaching swimming to be easy. Can you guys share some resources of HOW to teach a child to swim? Not just being comfortable in the water, but actual swimming skills and how to progress/build on skills. TIA!