Would this offend you?

[Anonymous]

This is a valid question and totally appropriate. Could it have been phrased differently, sure. But it is a matter of semantics. Pretty sure she didn’t mean one was at risk for being violently attacked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

Agree it’s extremely offensive to put it that way. And to be frank, at that age the girl is much more likely to be sexually aware than the boy so suggesting that HE might be sexually aggressive is extremely offensive and inappropriate. Much more likely to be the other way around, but most likely to be a non issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not offended, but disappointed at the underlying assumption.

I was a bit miffed when a friend declared she’d never allow her DD to have sleepovers in homes with older boys. Our DDs were good friends at the time, and my son is older. Years later, he still hasn’t shown any interest in romance. Neither I nor DD had even talked about sleepovers with this friend.

It’s disingenuous to assume that the first move always comes from boys, or that somehow they have less self control. I find that parents who only have girls often make these assumptions.

Not that they should sleep in the same room! But it may not the boy who starts things…

Absolutely!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a valid question and totally appropriate. Could it have been phrased differently, sure. But it is a matter of semantics. Pretty sure she didn’t mean one was at risk for being violently attacked

Then why the F did she phrase it like that? She was essentially accusing the boy of being a potential predator. Of course that’s offensive!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

DP - why is it time if the kids and parents are all ok with it? Sounds like the kids function almost like siblings.

Because it's very rare for actual opposite-sex siblings to share a room after puberty.

[Anonymous]

I find these inquiries so fascinating. It hasn’t come up with our kids yet but dh and I are gay and we had lots of sleepovers with same geneder friends When we were kids.

I think I’d be a hypocrite to object to an opposite gender sleepover for our own kids (provided they were comfortable with it).

[Anonymous]

We’re close friends with a couple we’ve known since our first kids were born. We get together several times a year, but havent vacationed together aside from backyard camping. They’re 14 now, and well my girl has a pretty big crush on their boy. Yeah, I wouldnt want them rooming together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re close friends with a couple we’ve known since our first kids were born. We get together several times a year, but havent vacationed together aside from backyard camping. They’re 14 now, and well my girl has a pretty big crush on their boy. Yeah, I wouldnt want them rooming together.

Is that the issue? I think it’s more about whether the phrasing, using the word “safe” is offensive, not whether the arrangements should change. Yeah, it is offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find these inquiries so fascinating. It hasn’t come up with our kids yet but dh and I are gay and we had lots of sleepovers with same geneder friends When we were kids.

I think I’d be a hypocrite to object to an opposite gender sleepover for our own kids (provided they were comfortable with it).

All parents are hypocrites!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

DP - why is it time if the kids and parents are all ok with it? Sounds like the kids function almost like siblings.

Because it's very rare for actual opposite-sex siblings to share a room after puberty.

. It’s rare for them to share a room all the time, not in one off times like on vacation. I assure you parents are getting whole separate hotel rooms for opposite sex siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

Not so rare on vacation though.


DP - why is it time if the kids and parents are all ok with it? Sounds like the kids function almost like siblings.

Because it's very rare for actual opposite-sex siblings to share a room after puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a valid question and totally appropriate. Could it have been phrased differently, sure. But it is a matter of semantics. Pretty sure she didn’t mean one was at risk for being violently attacked

It’s not semantics. Semantics is using “comfortable” vs “appropriate.” Friend’s wording absolutely implies a possibility of some sort of threat (doesn’t have to be violent) coming from the boy.

[Anonymous]

If both the kids are fine with it, I wouldn't care.

Do you all care about same sex because a lot of kids are gay, bi or curious.

Sounds like these two would feel like cousins and nothing more. So I would ask them individually in a nonchalant way and go with whatever they want. It's their trip too.

Because if they do feel like cousins and have a strong friendly connection, separating them seems weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

DP - why is it time if the kids and parents are all ok with it? Sounds like the kids function almost like siblings.

Because it's very rare for actual opposite-sex siblings to share a room after puberty.

. It’s rare for them to share a room all the time, not in one off times like on vacation. I assure you parents are getting whole separate hotel rooms for opposite sex siblings.

No they aren't. Same with cruises, hotels and smaller condos, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The word "safe" is a bit offensive but why hasn't it crossed your mind that a teen boy and teen girl should no longer be sharing a room? Sheesh.

Very offensive to ask if girl will be “safe,” but it’s time for them to stop sharing a room.

DP - why is it time if the kids and parents are all ok with it? Sounds like the kids function almost like siblings.

Because it's very rare for actual opposite-sex siblings to share a room after puberty.

What?! My brother is two years older than me and we always shared a room on family vacations, including during/after puberty. I have two boys (12 and 15) and my brother has two girls (12 and 16) and they share a room when we visit each other’s family. They have so much fun talking and being silly together. Not saying these two kids who may or may not feel comfortable sharing a room should be forced to. But it’s ridiculous to say opposite-sex siblings don’t share a room after a certain age.