Does true love actually exist anymore?

[Anonymous]

I'm unconditionally loyal to my spouse, parents and siblings but only people I love unconditionally, are my children.

[Anonymous]

I have unconditional love for my two toddlers but not for my husband for whom I have true love. If he cheated on me that would be a condition I couldn’t tolerate. If my toddlers said I hate you mommy I can handle that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never understood what unconditional means.

How can a person or dog or horse or any intelligent being love another being no matter WHAT they do?

I love my children unconditionally. There is no end to the measures I'd take to ensure their safety and well being. There is nothing they could do which would cause me to withdraw my love, support and presence from their lives. My dh and I have what I consider to be true love. We have been together happily, amicably, faithfully and lovingly for 34 years. Our marriage will end with death. I love him deeply, and he me, but not unconditionally.

What is the condition of your love?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely
I live my wife unconditionally.
I prioritize my marriage in every decision I make.. That mentality frees me up mentally to appreciate, understand and love her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never understood what unconditional means.

How can a person or dog or horse or any intelligent being love another being no matter WHAT they do?

I love my children unconditionally. There is no end to the measures I'd take to ensure their safety and well being. There is nothing they could do which would cause me to withdraw my love, support and presence from their lives. My dh and I have what I consider to be true love. We have been together happily, amicably, faithfully and lovingly for 34 years. Our marriage will end with death. I love him deeply, and he me, but not unconditionally.

So if one of them turned out to be like Jeffery Dahmer, you'd go to the end if the Earth to support them? How about if they shot up a kindergarten class when they were an angry teen?

I know, YOUR kids are incapable of doing that. But guess what - the folks who actually did that had parents who probably thought the same as you, yet it happened.

I think if mine did that, I would let them deal with the consequences and withdraw my support. I would be heartbroken and probably only love who they used to be, not who did those acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read the whole article yet, though the opening intrigues me so I will.

But just by quick reply to your posited question; I am 53 now, I have seen through the window into dozens of marriages by nature of the work I do, and quite a few much closer by family and friendship connection.

No, there is no such thing as unconditional love - not between partners, nor between parents and children. Some grandparents come close, but many do not.

Animals love unconditionally.

The human mind, I believe, is too complex for unconditional love.

You discredit yourself when you anthropromorphasize. Animals do not possess human emotions.

Since when is love a human emotion? Decades of animal field research has established the loving bonds between animals in family groups - bond that last lifetimes.

Perhaps I don’t have the capacity to speak of the love between sperm whales in sperm whale language, but I have no question that it exists. It is the height of human arrogance to believe themselves the only species capable of love.

+1
The PP you responded to is not very bright.

[Anonymous]

Stupid question, OP. Your title asks if true love exists "anymore".

I would posit that until modern time, true love never existed. Women were sold like chattel, and virtual slaves to their husbands. None of those relationships had true love, under any understanding.

I think you have a whitewashed version of what love and relationships look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stupid question, OP. Your title asks if true love exists "anymore".

I would posit that until modern time, true love never existed. Women were sold like chattel, and virtual slaves to their husbands. None of those relationships had true love, under any understanding.

I think you have a whitewashed version of what love and relationships look like.

Even a more stupid post. You think every woman was sold and live somehow is more societally or genetically advanced in a few thousands years? lol sure you were around in before “modern time” typical insecure poser masking as a know it all.

[Anonymous]

When was there ever unconditional love between married/romantically partnered people? Of course the love in these pairings is conditional (and it should be!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When was there ever unconditional love between married/romantically partnered people? Of course the love in these pairings is conditional (and it should be!)

+1

[Anonymous]

People feel responsible for their children and their relationship with children is not conditional because parents feel part guilty for everything kids do wrong as they birthed and raised them. People don't feel same way about other relations, unless they've enmeshed families where they are conditioned to feel responsibility.

[Anonymous]

DH is the only one who feeds our cat and cleans their litter. But the cat is joined at the hip with our DC. If an animal’s love was truly transactional, wouldn’t the cat spend more time with DH?

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say I started the article but stopped and picked it back up and finished it now. Super glad I found the time and did.

I like how the author shoots down their first two theories, it sort of makes the final all the more convincing. And as someone mentioned it’s cute that he says to this day he’d still do anything for his first love, especially given how it ends I find that believable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had my doubts but I loved this article and curious what others think, is there such thing as true and unconditional among partners?

https://www.spiveyblog.com/posts/does-true-love-exist

I doubt if a true and unconditional love ever existed. When a person feels/claims to love someone, its usually based on their looks or personality or a mix AND there is a wish for it to be reciprocal and to materialize it, as in having a relationship or in marriage.

There's True Wuv in the Princess Bride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stupid question, OP. Your title asks if true love exists "anymore".

I would posit that until modern time, true love never existed. Women were sold like chattel, and virtual slaves to their husbands. None of those relationships had true love, under any understanding.

I think you have a whitewashed version of what love and relationships look like.

Even a more stupid post. You think every woman was sold and live somehow is more societally or genetically advanced in a few thousands years? lol sure you were around in before “modern time” typical insecure poser masking as a know it all.

What are you trying to say?