How often does your DC get a discipline referral

[Anonymous]

The non-helpful responses of "my adhd kid has not gotten in behavior trouble once ever in their entire lives" reminds me that I wish the DSM would separate ADHD and ADD. If your kid has never gotten in behavioral trouble once ever, it means by definition their ADHD is only ADD. And honestly, plain old ADD looks about as similar to my ADHD DS as, say, anorexia. That is to mean, not similar at all. I personally don't think ADD and ADHD are the same disorders at all.

[Anonymous]

Is it the same teacher every time? The same time of day?

[Anonymous]

In some ways this strikes me as bigger than a disability issue. If she is getting constant warnings and still engages in the behavior and is 15 and only sees a psychiatrist every six months so is presumably very stable, it really sounds like she’s being disrespectful. What does she say about her lack of self control. Is it the same class or same time a day so that maybe she needs a different type of class during that period?

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the teacher(s) involved and ask about her behavior in class. Is she talking to friends or just anyone around her? Is it happening during lectures or when she completes work early, etc?

Talk to your daughter and see what she has to say about it and if she has ideas for addressing it.

She has an IEP, so I would also talk to her case carrier. You can ask for a functional behavioral analysis (FBA) which will formally document the antecedents, behaviors, and consequences to help identify patterns.

Asking your doctor about increasing medication is also a good idea. But this is a problem with behavior at school. It’s going to be difficult to address it without their help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The non-helpful responses of "my adhd kid has not gotten in behavior trouble once ever in their entire lives" reminds me that I wish the DSM would separate ADHD and ADD. If your kid has never gotten in behavioral trouble once ever, it means by definition their ADHD is only ADD. And honestly, plain old ADD looks about as similar to my ADHD DS as, say, anorexia. That is to mean, not similar at all. I personally don't think ADD and ADHD are the same disorders at all.

This a good point. Its the impulse control and hyperactivity that lead to class room misbehavior. And its a disservice to try and treat both the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont know what a discipline referral is, and my kids are younger so maybe this isnt relevant but my 3rd grader rarely makes it through a day in school without an incident. He spends a portion of every day in the office. It's frustrating but honestly I kind of thought it was normal for adhd kids to not be able to participate in class. I would suggest just letting the natural school consequences play out and continue to support her as you normally do.

This is VERY concerning, PP. This isn't at all like what OP is describing. Your kid is simply not being educated. If he can't spend a single day in a classroom, he needs some kind of help - does he have an IEP? You all need some help.

Yes, Im this person and I know its concerning and yes he has an iep and meds and all of the things going on. I posted as a voice of saying that 3 times of talking too much isnt really a big deal for many adhd families. That sounds delightful to me. I wouldnt do anything at all other than support the schools consequences and make sure my child understood the expectations. OP asked how often your adhd kid gets in trouble. My answer is all the dang time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some ways this strikes me as bigger than a disability issue. If she is getting constant warnings and still engages in the behavior and is 15 and only sees a psychiatrist every six months so is presumably very stable, it really sounds like she’s being disrespectful. What does she say about her lack of self control. Is it the same class or same time a day so that maybe she needs a different type of class during that period?

I suspect this is the case.

[Anonymous]

The school has a behavior system in place. They have rules and expectations and provided feedback to the student. Continued disregard for the rules has resulted in detention, that is the corrective punishment. Teachers general only do this if they've reached the point of desperation and/or the student is being disruptive and disrespectful. I'd ask more questions OP and talk to your child about expectations.

[Anonymous]

I’m a parent of 2 and a HS teacher. Some teachers write a lot of referrals for anything and everything. Some never write referrals. Were these written by the same teacher? She’s in 10th grade, has she been getting discipline referrals in prior years? If this is new and it’s the same teacher I would not be concerned. Speak to your daughter about behavior and how she has to get along with all different teachers.

We got a lot of calls and emails home for one one my kids for things like this but it was every year up until middle school, when he calmed down a lot. In HS, there was always 1 teacher who wrote kids up for everything.

We’ve never received call or email for DC2.

This is not strictly an ADHD thing.

[Anonymous]

21:28 again with more questions. Does she have friends or a boyfriend in the class? Is there assigned seats? One year a teacher kept contacting us for DS’s constant talking and disruption but his assigned seat was always with friends. I kept asking for them to be separated to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In some ways this strikes me as bigger than a disability issue. If she is getting constant warnings and still engages in the behavior and is 15 and only sees a psychiatrist every six months so is presumably very stable, it really sounds like she’s being disrespectful. What does she say about her lack of self control. Is it the same class or same time a day so that maybe she needs a different type of class during that period?

Or her ADHD is undertreated, no classroom solutions have been attempted such as moving her seat, and this is 100% impulsive behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some ways this strikes me as bigger than a disability issue. If she is getting constant warnings and still engages in the behavior and is 15 and only sees a psychiatrist every six months so is presumably very stable, it really sounds like she’s being disrespectful. What does she say about her lack of self control. Is it the same class or same time a day so that maybe she needs a different type of class during that period?

Or her ADHD is undertreated, no classroom solutions have been attempted such as moving her seat, and this is 100% impulsive behavior.

Could be. But she is only going every six months and OP did not give any indication this was the case. Anyway disrespect is a reasonable consideration under the circumstances. None of us really can know. We’re just offering ideas to consider so OP can resolve a situation they find to be unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

This is fine. The institutional structure is a poor match for your kid's temperament. You can't change the whole school. Ride out the rough ride.

Don't drug your kid into submission over a few referrals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The non-helpful responses of "my adhd kid has not gotten in behavior trouble once ever in their entire lives" reminds me that I wish the DSM would separate ADHD and ADD. If your kid has never gotten in behavioral trouble once ever, it means by definition their ADHD is only ADD. And honestly, plain old ADD looks about as similar to my ADHD DS as, say, anorexia. That is to mean, not similar at all. I personally don't think ADD and ADHD are the same disorders at all.

I have two kids with ADHD combined. Both hyperactive but one the less impulse control. That one got into trouble regularly at school for poor behavior until we got the medication right. Whenever DD was getting into trouble we looked at meds again, or did some focused therapy. Things have been stable for about 6 months now, but DD hasn’t gone to the principle’s office for almost 2 years.

The other one holds it together at school but is a wreck at home. They also have anxiety which means they don’t want to get into trouble at school, so can mostly it together, so never grtdbin trouble. At home, they let it all out. I know DD is likely under-medicated because she wasn’t always this way at home, but we are at the top of her medication dose (would have to try other stimulants) so if things are ok at school, we will deal with the behaviors at home.

Each ADHD child is different- ridiculous to say all kids with ADHd get into trouble at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont know what a discipline referral is, and my kids are younger so maybe this isnt relevant but my 3rd grader rarely makes it through a day in school without an incident. He spends a portion of every day in the office. It's frustrating but honestly I kind of thought it was normal for adhd kids to not be able to participate in class. I would suggest just letting the natural school consequences play out and continue to support her as you normally do.

This is VERY concerning, PP. This isn't at all like what OP is describing. Your kid is simply not being educated. If he can't spend a single day in a classroom, he needs some kind of help - does he have an IEP? You all need some help.

Yes, Im this person and I know its concerning and yes he has an iep and meds and all of the things going on. I posted as a voice of saying that 3 times of talking too much isnt really a big deal for many adhd families. That sounds delightful to me. I wouldnt do anything at all other than support the schools consequences and make sure my child understood the expectations. OP asked how often your adhd kid gets in trouble. My answer is all the dang time.

I hear you but saying "he's in the office everyday" makes it seem like that's ok! I hope the school is helping you guys figure things out like a better classroom etc.