for those with young kids in part-time preschool....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

Bizarre comment- I'm very fortunate to only work 4 days a week and have both sets of parents nearby and still don't think I'll be able to manage part time preschool but I certainly don't have a luxury car, giant house or fancy vacation. Those aren't the choices we're deciding between

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

DP, but I can’t afford to stay home (or have a nanny) and we live in an 800sqft condo, mostly “vacation” by visiting my parents, and don’t own a car. I also don’t have a career that would allow re-entery after a five year gap. Yes, I regret choosing this career. No, I don’t have a time machine to fix it with. You are in fact fortunate to be able to stay home if you want to.

So again, it’s about the choices you made. Not “fortune.”

I guess that’s a fair point. It is about the choices we made at 20 and 25 and 30. Unfortunately, when you’re wanting to stay home at 35, you can’t go back and change any of the earlier choices to make that easier. Your examples of sacrifices are things I have already sacrificed to afford kids at all so I can’t sacrifice more to stay home and pay for part time preschool. I maintain that people who are in the position to do so are fortunate, either financially or logistically if they have family willing to help out. Why are you so offended by being called fortunate?

Because it's inaccurate. It wasn't "fortune," it was hard sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

Please! No one in upper middle class circles is staying in a small condo and going car-less so that they can stay home and send their kids to preschool.

I didn't see any indication that this thread was exclusively about "upper middle class."

[Anonymous]

It's for families with SAHP or nanny. It's not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

Part time preschool families I know -
Have an au pair.
Have local grandparents that take the kids in the afternoon.
Have a co-op / share situation where a few families rotate afternoons.
Have jobs with non-traditional schedules like my hairdresser who sets her own hours and my firefighter neighbor who works 6 - 24 hours shifts a month.

My kids have been at chaotic large center care (Bright Horizons), in home daycare, and church-based daycare. I disagree that all full-day programs are business-like or chaotic. Ours was a preschool curriculum until 2pm “aftercare” hours available until 5:30pm. It was a good “best of both worlds” for us. Some Montessori programs may have a similar standard day + extra hours program.

Personally in-home daycare was awesome until age 2.5-3. It’s like a nanny share without dealing with hosting or taxes. Once they need a bit more, full day preschool is good prep for kindergarten. They get practice cooperating as part of a group, lining up to walk as a group, getting along with peers, etc.

[Anonymous]

We have a 3 year old doing 3 hours of preschool 2 days per week. We share a nanny with another family that has a child in the same preschool class, which makes the arrangement more affordable. The nanny still works close to FT hours over the course of the week. This works well for us and the nanny (because most nannies can't afford to work a PT schedule). Try a nanny share!

[Anonymous]

I think your problem is that preschool is PreK3 or PreK4 and any child under those ages are still daycare (or nanny) ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

DP, but I can’t afford to stay home (or have a nanny) and we live in an 800sqft condo, mostly “vacation” by visiting my parents, and don’t own a car. I also don’t have a career that would allow re-entery after a five year gap. Yes, I regret choosing this career. No, I don’t have a time machine to fix it with. You are in fact fortunate to be able to stay home if you want to.

So again, it’s about the choices you made. Not “fortune.”

I guess that’s a fair point. It is about the choices we made at 20 and 25 and 30. Unfortunately, when you’re wanting to stay home at 35, you can’t go back and change any of the earlier choices to make that easier. Your examples of sacrifices are things I have already sacrificed to afford kids at all so I can’t sacrifice more to stay home and pay for part time preschool. I maintain that people who are in the position to do so are fortunate, either financially or logistically if they have family willing to help out. Why are you so offended by being called fortunate?

Because it's inaccurate. It wasn't "fortune," it was hard sacrifices.

“Hard sacrifices” a lot of us also made without ending up in a position of being able to stay home and pay for preschool too? Weird take from a privileged person who doesn’t realize their good fortune. (Me, I’m grateful to be fortunate to have involved loving grandparents who are willing to babysit occasionally even if I can’t afford any of the things you suggest are hard sacrifices.)

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for all the responses! It's good to hear real life examples. I will have to look into a nanny share and see if the reduced cost is affordable overall.

And what's with the weird poster who insists that everything is due to choice and wants to pick a bone with the idea of being "fortunate" enough for a great childcare situation? You can't wrap your head around the idea that luck plays into outcomes in life..?

I'm currently a SAHM mom, a choice that was a financial sacrifice for our family. Having made it, I still feel very fortunate that we can get by on one income. That's just not possible for some people. I was hoping to go back to work soon and stop dipping into our savings, but I may make the CHOICE again to stay home longer and send DC to one of the part-time daycare I really liked. And I will continue to feel FORTUNATE that I have that option. Not everyone does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

DP, but I can’t afford to stay home (or have a nanny) and we live in an 800sqft condo, mostly “vacation” by visiting my parents, and don’t own a car. I also don’t have a career that would allow re-entery after a five year gap. Yes, I regret choosing this career. No, I don’t have a time machine to fix it with. You are in fact fortunate to be able to stay home if you want to.

So again, it’s about the choices you made. Not “fortune.”

I guess that’s a fair point. It is about the choices we made at 20 and 25 and 30. Unfortunately, when you’re wanting to stay home at 35, you can’t go back and change any of the earlier choices to make that easier. Your examples of sacrifices are things I have already sacrificed to afford kids at all so I can’t sacrifice more to stay home and pay for part time preschool. I maintain that people who are in the position to do so are fortunate, either financially or logistically if they have family willing to help out. Why are you so offended by being called fortunate?

Because it's inaccurate. It wasn't "fortune," it was hard sacrifices.

“Hard sacrifices” a lot of us also made without ending up in a position of being able to stay home and pay for preschool too? Weird take from a privileged person who doesn’t realize their good fortune. (Me, I’m grateful to be fortunate to have involved loving grandparents who are willing to babysit occasionally even if I can’t afford any of the things you suggest are hard sacrifices.)

+1. Weirdly antagonistic from someone super privileged.

[Anonymous]

My kids are teens now, but they did part-time pre-school.

It was a mix of SAHP, parents with flexible work schedules or only worked part-time. Families with a nanny/babysitter. It was pretty typical for most of these families to have multiple children who were fairly close in age. The majority of the women I still know from those days all went back to full-time (or significant part time hours once their youngest hit kindergarten).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people described in the responses are incredibly fortunate.

Or just make different choices than you do

it's pretty fortunate to be able to afford part-time day care AND a nanny in such a HCOL area. Or have the luck to live close to and/or have competent grandparents who want to be involved. There's not much choosing when it comes to how far you can stretch your childcare budget, for people who have budgets, or how things shake out with the grandparents.

I'm with you PP. I had to put my DC in full-time daycare around 2 in order to work and I didn't love it. Part-time would have been a better fit for her but we could not afford the nanny or for me to stay at home.

Or to just make sacrifices to be a SAHP? "You're just so FORTUNATE to live in a 2 bedroom house. It would just be impossible for me to cram my family of 3 in anything less than 5,000 sqf." "You're just so FORTUNATE to go camping for vacation each year, every year. We just wouldn't be able to survive without spending $50,000/year on luxury trips."
"You're so FORTUNATE to drive a 10 year old economy car. We'd never survive without buying a brand new XL luxury SUV every other year."

DP, but I can’t afford to stay home (or have a nanny) and we live in an 800sqft condo, mostly “vacation” by visiting my parents, and don’t own a car. I also don’t have a career that would allow re-entery after a five year gap. Yes, I regret choosing this career. No, I don’t have a time machine to fix it with. You are in fact fortunate to be able to stay home if you want to.

So again, it’s about the choices you made. Not “fortune.”

I guess that’s a fair point. It is about the choices we made at 20 and 25 and 30. Unfortunately, when you’re wanting to stay home at 35, you can’t go back and change any of the earlier choices to make that easier. Your examples of sacrifices are things I have already sacrificed to afford kids at all so I can’t sacrifice more to stay home and pay for part time preschool. I maintain that people who are in the position to do so are fortunate, either financially or logistically if they have family willing to help out. Why are you so offended by being called fortunate?

Because it's inaccurate. It wasn't "fortune," it was hard sacrifices.

“Hard sacrifices” a lot of us also made without ending up in a position of being able to stay home and pay for preschool too? Weird take from a privileged person who doesn’t realize their good fortune. (Me, I’m grateful to be fortunate to have involved loving grandparents who are willing to babysit occasionally even if I can’t afford any of the things you suggest are hard sacrifices.)

+1. Weirdly antagonistic from someone super privileged.

+2 You are privileged if you have that choice. I had that choice, and I chose to work and send my child to daycare. But I could have chosen to stay home if I wanted to (it would have been enormously costly in the short and the long term but it was possible), and that makes me privileged. Many people don't have that choice. Some people send their kids to unlicensed daycares because they have to work and can't afford anything better. Some people can't enter the workforce because they can't get a job that pays enough to afforf childcare. Those of us who have that choice are fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Grandparents, but I was very lucky!

[Anonymous]

Hello,
Also on the same quest. Would you mind sharing a list of the part time preschool options that you particularly liked? Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Prek is not a requirement for kindergarten. I've seen kids with nanny until 4