10-year-old can’t tie shoe

[Anonymous]

My daughter’s first grade class is doing a unit on shoe tying, and almost none of the kids have shoes with laces. They are all practicing on cardboard because no one has laced shoes. I don’t plan to buy her any laced shoes any time soon, either. We don’t need a LONGER routine in the morning.

[Anonymous]

At some point the cooler shoes are tie shoes not velcro, they will figure it out when they want those shoes instead of the velcro.

[Anonymous]

You left him in velcro or were doing it for him for too long OP.

My DS is 11 and has significant fine motor challenges (has always tested years and years below his age). When he was 7 his new year’s resolution was to learn to tie his shoes. So I taught him (using the bunny method) and just gritted my teeth and let him take all the time he needed. He doesn’t tie them very tight still now, but he can do it. If my kid who the OT told me had the motor skills of a 18 month old when he was 4 can do it, so can your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC learned at age 10. We practiced on a big shoe on his lap for several days. I could review and provide tidbits of advice on finger positions and amount of material in the loop, etc. DC could fine tune it on a different shoe without it being his own or without pressure of leaving. After a week of excellent tying, we transferred the skills to their actual shoes. They were motivated by a brand new pair of shoes that they were professionally fitted for and had chosen at the running store. This added motivation. Then I had to add an extra 10 minutes of ‘getting ready’ time each morning.

10???

[Anonymous]

Poor fine motor control skills.
Mine took years but eventually figured it out. I wish I'd stressed about it less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At some point the cooler shoes are tie shoes not velcro, they will figure it out when they want those shoes instead of the velcro.

People who can't tie shoes have large overlap with people who don't understand fashion trendiness.

[Anonymous]

My kids couldn't tie their shoes at 10 either. We moved from overseas where the kids all had nannies (even at school there were nannies to help with things like that! Think very wealthy mideast country). They couldn't ride bikes either. So we did boot camp. One morning, I said you will sit down and tie your shoes. It turned out that they were also embarrassed that they couldn't tie their own shoes. It took ages to learn. They didn't get it right that first weekend. But 3 weekends in, they could definitely tie their shoes. Bike riding was easier. Turns out I'm better at teaching bike riding than shoe tying.

[Anonymous]

Your son might have very mild dyspraxia (developmental coordination disorder).

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/23963-dyspraxia-developmental-coordination-disorder-dcd

Daniel Radcliffe has it and had great difficulty learning to tie his shoes.

[Anonymous]

I buy lock laces for my 9 year old kid.

https://www.amazon.com/LACES-Elastic-Shoelace-Fastening-System/dp/B007DLVLDY/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=3OMQD4WB8H35&keywords=lock+laces&qid=1702824146&sprefix=lock+l%2Caps%2C196&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

I know he has fine motor skills because he can operate a video game controller excellently.

When he’s older, if he wants to actually learn to tie his shoes instead of sporting lock laces, he can google videos on shoe tying himself and figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Don't make it a battle. He'll be wearing slip-on checkered Vans at 14, anyway. That's what they all do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't make it a battle. He'll be wearing slip-on checkered Vans at 14, anyway. That's what they all do.

No they don’t. I don’t understand why parents are so lazy. Shoe tying is part of getting dressed. If you have a 10 yr old who has never been taught to tie his shoes, that’s a parent fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I buy lock laces for my 9 year old kid.

https://www.amazon.com/LACES-Elastic-Shoelace-Fastening-System/dp/B007DLVLDY/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=3OMQD4WB8H35&keywords=lock+laces&qid=1702824146&sprefix=lock+l%2Caps%2C196&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

I know he has fine motor skills because he can operate a video game controller excellently.

When he’s older, if he wants to actually learn to tie his shoes instead of sporting lock laces, he can google videos on shoe tying himself and figure it out.

Seriously curious about why you special-order laced instead of letting your kid tie his own shoes …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't make it a battle. He'll be wearing slip-on checkered Vans at 14, anyway. That's what they all do.

No they don’t. I don’t understand why parents are so lazy. Shoe tying is part of getting dressed. If you have a 10 yr old who has never been taught to tie his shoes, that’s a parent fail.

It’s also the life-skill of tying knots. Do these kids who can’t tie shoes not know how to tie any knot?

[Anonymous]

THere is an underlying issue preventing him from learning this. Get it evaluated by a professional. My kid was the same, and there was much more going on that we needed to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean? Honestly.

I’ve been trying to teach him since before he started K. Now at 10 he still struggles. It takes him about 5-10 times to freakin’ tie his shoe. I wish I was kidding. He plays soccer and basketball and baseball. It isn’t for a lack of dexterity. Why the heck can’t he grasp tying his shoe? What could this be so I can get him properly assessed, if needed.

Can he only tell you one with digital clocks s d watches? Can he read cursive?