Educational Setting for ​AuDHD Kindergartener

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Op, my son is ADHD so I realize not the same though it is quite significant and he was medicated early as a result. I was also really nervous. I truly couldn't imagine my child doing well in a big classroom with a bunch of kids. I have been shocked at how well my son has done in public school (APS). His class is 22 kids (bigger than I would like but could be worse), there is a teacher and teacher's assistant in every classroom, two recesses. He has an IEP and as a part of that the special education teacher assigned to kindergarten is in his classroom two hours a day, supporting 3 students. It may not sound like a lot, but between specials, recess, lunch, she is there a good portion of the academic time. So during that time there are three teachers in the room, one particularly lasered in on my son and a couple others. The structure of public school has been much more helpful than I imagined and he is doing really well. Not just ok, WELL. Learning, happy, not disrupting others from what we've heard. It has been such a great surprise.

Hope you also have a good experience in Kindergarten wherever you end up!

Not OP, but thank you for sharing, this is very interesting. We are in Moco, Whitman cluster and in our home elementary K we have 28 kids and 1 teacher (non-special ed certified). It's shocking to see the difference between the neighboring school districts, given that the income levels are similar in Arlington and Bethesda.

Just because there are 28 this year does not mean that there will be 28 next year. They might add a class and be in the low 20s. Many MoCo schools have smaller classes (even non focus). It just depends on the numbers and getting families to sign up for K early enough to hire teachers. If 10 families wait till the first day of schools, they have few options.

3 sections of 28 each year. I am in close in Bethesda, in a neighborhood very popular with young families (mostly old housing stock, very few $2m craftsman bungaloids).

[Anonymous]

If you're in Northern VA, check out The Newton School. Lots of kids match your child's profile. Very small classes, super patient teachers and specialized support based on what your child needs. The only drawback is that it's in Sterling, but they run a bus from Arlington, Vienna and McLean. If you're interested, they will ask for any assessments and diagnoses, and there will be a visit day to make sure your family is a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had luck with a private tutor or BCBA pushing into a public school? We’re going to ask about ratios and teacher assistant availability, but wondering just in case.

This IME always falls on the principal to say yes. About 80% say yes immediately as long as they aren’t expected to pay (private hire by you), about 20% needed a little pushback usually legally. Don’t know the logistics about fighting this, just know that after it gets to that point was usually in the school within 2-3 months of parents being told no initially.

Sometimes the principal wants to meet the person first, requires background checks, etc which I’ve never been concerned about aside from it delays progress a bit. Get all your paperwork ready ahead of time, take the person you want to the IEP if possible so the team can meet them, get your scheduling worked out ahead of time so they can go in immediately, etc- that kind of thing helps get the ball rolling.

It’s also incredibly helpful to the person you send in if they have experience with your child outside the school and especially if the experience is with the child in the home. It’s not a make or break if that overlap between home and school isn’t there but it’s a huge benefit to everyone if it is.

This is an enormous piece of misinformation. In many public school districts it’s a flat out no as a matter of policy and principals are not allowed to make any exceptions. OP - check with your school district.

It’s just my experience (see IME) based on 20+ years in schools and other settings in several states and many different school systems. Obviously you might have a different experience, that’s how experiences work.

Pls name districts where you saw private non-school BCBAs provide services in public schools?

+1

Definitely a big NO in DC Publics - they will now allow any private provider on site...maybe during aftercare, does anyone know?

+1 FCPS, it was an uphill battle just to be allowed for the student to be observed for 30 minutes by an outside professional (vice principal had to be present the whole time)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, OP, AuDHD is such a new term that some parents here (like myself with an Aspergers/ADHD/Anxiety DD) will have to look it up. I did and I don't think the two terms - autism and ADHD - should be used as slang in one word. In fact, the autism diagnosis is probably the more important one. And many children have two, three or four comorbidities.

Lots of young adults today identify with this label. You can have your opinion, but just know that there's plenty of people out there embracing this as showing the unique needs of someone diagnosed with both. Who are you to say autism is the more "important" diagnosis for others? Maybe it is in your family. But many of us embrace the combo as having its own unique needs. Not unlike when parents use the term 2E.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had luck with a private tutor or BCBA pushing into a public school? We’re going to ask about ratios and teacher assistant availability, but wondering just in case.

This IME always falls on the principal to say yes. About 80% say yes immediately as long as they aren’t expected to pay (private hire by you), about 20% needed a little pushback usually legally. Don’t know the logistics about fighting this, just know that after it gets to that point was usually in the school within 2-3 months of parents being told no initially.

Sometimes the principal wants to meet the person first, requires background checks, etc which I’ve never been concerned about aside from it delays progress a bit. Get all your paperwork ready ahead of time, take the person you want to the IEP if possible so the team can meet them, get your scheduling worked out ahead of time so they can go in immediately, etc- that kind of thing helps get the ball rolling.

It’s also incredibly helpful to the person you send in if they have experience with your child outside the school and especially if the experience is with the child in the home. It’s not a make or break if that overlap between home and school isn’t there but it’s a huge benefit to everyone if it is.

This is an enormous piece of misinformation. In many public school districts it’s a flat out no as a matter of policy and principals are not allowed to make any exceptions. OP - check with your school district.

It’s just my experience (see IME) based on 20+ years in schools and other settings in several states and many different school systems. Obviously you might have a different experience, that’s how experiences work.

Pls name districts where you saw private non-school BCBAs provide services in public schools?

+1

Definitely a big NO in DC Publics - they will now allow any private provider on site...maybe during aftercare, does anyone know?

+1 FCPS, it was an uphill battle just to be allowed for the student to be observed for 30 minutes by an outside professional (vice principal had to be present the whole time)

MCPS is a hard no for private providers to deliver services on school premises. Observations are limited to 30 min.

So that's DC, MoCo and Fairfax. Where is the PP who was saying that she saw many places in 20 years that allowed private providers??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had luck with a private tutor or BCBA pushing into a public school? We’re going to ask about ratios and teacher assistant availability, but wondering just in case.

This IME always falls on the principal to say yes. About 80% say yes immediately as long as they aren’t expected to pay (private hire by you), about 20% needed a little pushback usually legally. Don’t know the logistics about fighting this, just know that after it gets to that point was usually in the school within 2-3 months of parents being told no initially.

Sometimes the principal wants to meet the person first, requires background checks, etc which I’ve never been concerned about aside from it delays progress a bit. Get all your paperwork ready ahead of time, take the person you want to the IEP if possible so the team can meet them, get your scheduling worked out ahead of time so they can go in immediately, etc- that kind of thing helps get the ball rolling.

It’s also incredibly helpful to the person you send in if they have experience with your child outside the school and especially if the experience is with the child in the home. It’s not a make or break if that overlap between home and school isn’t there but it’s a huge benefit to everyone if it is.

Exactly, maybe Alexandria or Arlington, or Leesburg, or further out?!

This is an enormous piece of misinformation. In many public school districts it’s a flat out no as a matter of policy and principals are not allowed to make any exceptions. OP - check with your school district.

It’s just my experience (see IME) based on 20+ years in schools and other settings in several states and many different school systems. Obviously you might have a different experience, that’s how experiences work.

Pls name districts where you saw private non-school BCBAs provide services in public schools?

+1

Definitely a big NO in DC Publics - they will now allow any private provider on site...maybe during aftercare, does anyone know?

+1 FCPS, it was an uphill battle just to be allowed for the student to be observed for 30 minutes by an outside professional (vice principal had to be present the whole time)

MCPS is a hard no for private providers to deliver services on school premises. Observations are limited to 30 min.

So that's DC, MoCo and Fairfax. Where is the PP who was saying that she saw many places in 20 years that allowed private providers??

[Anonymous]

OP with a disheartening update. I’m still exploring options and I contacted an education center that provides individualized tutoring for students with learning disabilities and ADHD. I had a good chat with the director and things were going well until I mentioned that DS has both autism and ADHD. I reassured her that he’s very high-functioning, no aggressive behaviors, and that it’s his ADHD that affects his education more but I could hear her tone change. She went from interested to condescendingly sweet. Now I don’t want to disclose his diagnosis at all in the admissions process if this is what it’s like even with a special-needs tutoring center. Autism feels like a scarlett letter and I can’t believe how ignorant educators are to the fact that it’s a broad spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went the public route, and it was not a good decision. The class was 24 kids and 1 teacher and it was just too chaotic for my son.

If I had to do it again, I would go to a private k program- not sped. The one I researched and wish I had gone with was Geneva in Potomac. Although the class is not small, there are many teachers and it might have been the mid-ground that my child needed to adjust to larger classes.

I wish I could do things over!

That's my concern right there. We'll apply broadly, disclose the dx after the hopefully favorable observation, and see how it goes.

This is the best approach. Between teacher reccs/director recc from preschool, school playdate, school testing, and sometimes classroom observation (of your child in their preschool class) if there is a there there it’s reasonable to think it could give admissions pause if there isn’t an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with a disheartening update. I’m still exploring options and I contacted an education center that provides individualized tutoring for students with learning disabilities and ADHD. I had a good chat with the director and things were going well until I mentioned that DS has both autism and ADHD. I reassured her that he’s very high-functioning, no aggressive behaviors, and that it’s his ADHD that affects his education more but I could hear her tone change. She went from interested to condescendingly sweet. Now I don’t want to disclose his diagnosis at all in the admissions process if this is what it’s like even with a special-needs tutoring center. Autism feels like a scarlett letter and I can’t believe how ignorant educators are to the fact that it’s a broad spectrum.

I am sorry that happened to you. Mainstream privates absolutely don't want to deal with ASD, I was surprised when you said in OP public or mainstream private. Even for a sweet child with no behaviors, they cannot commit to supporting you because children can change. Once kids hit puberty they may need more supports at which point the school has to gently counsel you out. In middle school social complexity increases rapidly together with the difficulty of academic material. A lot of interactions and learning will be based on inference - both socially and academically. This is the main deficit with ASD children. A problem free 6 yo who reads at grade level may look very different at 9-10 and struggle mightily without appropriate supports. Mainstream privates and even SN-light schools (catering to learning differences and ADHD) are not staffed to support or understand ASD. I have a child with same AuDHD profile and wish this was not so, but alas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP with a disheartening update. I’m still exploring options and I contacted an education center that provides individualized tutoring for students with learning disabilities and ADHD. I had a good chat with the director and things were going well until I mentioned that DS has both autism and ADHD. I reassured her that he’s very high-functioning, no aggressive behaviors, and that it’s his ADHD that affects his education more but I could hear her tone change. She went from interested to condescendingly sweet. Now I don’t want to disclose his diagnosis at all in the admissions process if this is what it’s like even with a special-needs tutoring center. Autism feels like a scarlett letter and I can’t believe how ignorant educators are to the fact that it’s a broad spectrum.

I am sorry that happened to you. Mainstream privates absolutely don't want to deal with ASD, I was surprised when you said in OP public or mainstream private. Even for a sweet child with no behaviors, they cannot commit to supporting you because children can change. Once kids hit puberty they may need more supports at which point the school has to gently counsel you out. In middle school social complexity increases rapidly together with the difficulty of academic material. A lot of interactions and learning will be based on inference - both socially and academically. This is the main deficit with ASD children. A problem free 6 yo who reads at grade level may look very different at 9-10 and struggle mightily without appropriate supports. Mainstream privates and even SN-light schools (catering to learning differences and ADHD) are not staffed to support or understand ASD. I have a child with same AuDHD profile and wish this was not so, but alas.

Thank you that’s a great perspective. It’s hard not to be offended by these institutions , but I have to hope that they are coming from years of experience and want the best outcome for my child even if it’s somewhere else. I’ve contacted my local school district and a special education consultant, and I am impressed by the services that the public schools offer. I’m just so worried about the overcrowding because DS is more than capable when it comes to the curriculum, but he gets overwhelmed in loud crowded spaces and I simply can’t imagine how 1 teacher can handle 25 kids with only a PT rotating aide. I’m going to pursue the IEP and push hard for a para. I’m also considering a homeschooling co-op.