Parents, please stop acting like demanding nut jobs

[Anonymous]

Lots of kids with special needs are mild and don’t need to be in a special needs class Pp. There’s tons of kids with anxiety, depression, sensory processing issues, adhd, speech issues, etc etc. that don’t fit into a traditional special needs class but require some degree of accommodation. if you want to exclude all these kids that have any degree of need you will find an empty classroom. Severely special Ed classrooms exist for severe special needs children but a kid who is typically developing with a sensory processing disorder or some other mild form of a special
Need should and needs to be accommodated in a normal classroom. That is what happens because preschools and daycares do and can easily accommodate them with properly trained teachers. Your mindset is really screwed up and selfish. No one wants to take anything away from your perfect crotch fruit, FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of kids with special needs are mild and don’t need to be in a special needs class Pp. There’s tons of kids with anxiety, depression, sensory processing issues, adhd, speech issues, etc etc. that don’t fit into a traditional special needs class but require some degree of accommodation. if you want to exclude all these kids that have any degree of need you will find an empty classroom. Severely special Ed classrooms exist for severe special needs children but a kid who is typically developing with a sensory processing disorder or some other mild form of a special
Need should and needs to be accommodated in a normal classroom. That is what happens because preschools and daycares do and can easily accommodate them with properly trained teachers. Your mindset is really screwed up and selfish. No one wants to take anything away from your perfect crotch fruit, FFS.

No, I don't want to exclude all special needs kids. Kids that only need mild accommodations can be accommodated in regular classes. But there are far too many kids who need more attention and accommodation that are being included in mainstream classes. So having rules about what is and isn't accepted and following those rules is what needs to happen. You can loosen the rules a little to accommodate the kids with mild special needs that can still fit into the rule structures. But when they get past the rules of what a school can accommodate, they need to look for different accommodations. A school that has no rules and accommodates children that they are not equipped to handle, or that allow the parents of special needs children to stretch the limits of the rules without excusing the children from the program create problems for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are middle schoolers, but when they went to a preschool that required the children to be toilet trained, we were told that 3 accidents in a semester and the child would be removed from the program. They did occasionally stretch to four if there were extenuating circumstances, but it was written into the contract that we signed. Daycares and preschools should just write this into the contracts and then you don't have to deal with people like the unreasonable dad.

And the appropriate response is that if his son is having such terrible accidents, the family should purchase less expensive underwear and they should work on improving the child's toilet training.

Said the parent of two neurotypical children, who clearly never dealt with a child with special needs. Some programs have rules on toilet training and those immediately exclude any child with special needs. Kid has ASD? ADHD? Anxiety? Sensory issues? Apparently these kids don’t deserve a place in school with your typically developing child. Newsflash - some kids train late because of developmental challenges or disabilities that you can’t see. Rigid one size fits all rules do not serve all children and only exclude those that are the ones who need more help and support.

As a mom who toilet trained my eldest at 2.5 and am struggling with a 3 year old who refuses to train because of sensory issues, I hate parents like you. NeverMind that we have been to many specialists and therapists and our pediatrician says not to train until we are ready - meanies like you just want to blame, blame, blame.

Yep. And I hate parents like you. You have children with special needs and you need to find programs that serve your children and their needs. Putting your child who needs the extra time and attention into a regular program doesn't serve anyone well. The program does not provide enough providers to provide that much attention to the special needs child. So you end up with children who need more attention who are not getting that attention. And when the providers provide more attention to those children, they amount of time they spend on the rest of the community is even less. So, the individual doesn't get as much attention as they need and the remainder get even less attention that they should have.

You need to look for programs that have a lower student:teacher ratio and that can provide extra care to fewer children. Yes, those programs have to be more expensive because the facility is getting less income from volume, so the cost per student will go up.

But parents who have special needs children who try to put them in regular programs and then complain when the program is not all inclusive for all of their child's special needs and then complain about the costs are a much bigger problem for the facilities and the staff. Parents like you want extra attention to your child at the expense of the rest of the class and you don't care that the other students get less attention to give your child more.

DP.

Yikes.

My child attends a regular child care program. She had a special need that arose when she had been in the program for over a year. Thankfully, they are an inclusive child care program. I'm not talking about programs like Karasik or Easter Seals that explicitly say they are inclusive. It's just a regular daycare, and there are multiple children with special needs, because a lot of children have special needs. They only counsel children out as a last resort.

DD got treatment and has overcome that disorder. But there was a long period of time where we didn't know what was going on. Her teachers have expressed their gratitude to have learned about her disorder and seen her growth.

Until you've been in that situation as a parent, don't judge.

Going back to the OP, it sounds like they don't have a specific policy around how they deal with poop accidents. If they do, the father is unaware of it. They should create a policy and communicate it to parents. The father probably has no idea that this many poop accidents is abnormal or a burden to the teachers. But even if he does, the policy is something they can refer to to counsel the family out so they can find a program that will better suit their child's needs.

[Anonymous]

I like how dad insists they bag the shit pants up so his "wife" can clean them. I'm sure she's just so thrilled to be waiting on that special bag to come home. Why doesn't dad spray and scrub the poo pants out himself?

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine handling all of these narcissistic parents. Poor kids. Poor teachers.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is forgetting that the kids in preschool now were born during COVID and many likely did not have the typical infant/toddler experience, especially since the children’s vaccine didn’t come out until they were a few years old and many daycares were folding and didn’t have spots or weren’t opening and many families were podding up, child care was hard to come by, and continues to be because the teachers now are on the whole largely new to the field. Those who were in care had masked caregivers. The early childhood game is completely different now and the young kids coming up faced a lot of challenges - so some random middle
School mom of neurotypicals weighing in with her hot takes on preschool kids with special needs who didn’t live through COVID with a baby and hasn’t changed a diaper in over a decade needs to see herself out of this conversation. Your experience is not relevant or welcome here. Child care has been decimated by COVID and teachers are brand new and have no experience with what is normal for toilet training. My son’s preschool teachers thought all the older twos could wipe (ha!) or change their own pull-ups themselves and put on shoes and pants correctly without oversight or guidance (ha!). Many kids train fully by 3 but many train earlier or later. Forcing readiness on a child who is not ready is developmentally inappropriate. Some kids just take longer.

[Anonymous]

The whole class would stink if they kept shitty underwear in a bag. Nasty. Underwear is $6 a bag at Walmart. Pull ups are like .65 a diaper. Not that much difference in cost.

These parents need to thank their lucky stars this kid isn’t getting kicked out. At mine kids don’t move to the 3 year old program without being potty trained. And they are charged more (because you have to have higher ratios with untrained kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TBH it would never occur to me to thank a daycare provider for cleaning and changing a child that had an accident. It seems like it would be a regular part of their job It's not that I don't appreciate the providers, I think they are amazing and say thank you all the time, just not for this specific thing. My 4yo has pee accidents from time to time and we often find out just from getting back pants in a plastic bag.

Anyway just saying the parent may not be a jerk, he may just not realize what a burden the poop blowouts are for the teachers and maybe this needs to be spelled out for him. And yeah I also would not expect them to throw out the clothes. This seems like a basic communication issue.

It is part of the job. Op should
Consider a position teaching older kids if dealing with diapers is such a big issue for her. I mean, I get it, it’s gross, but nurses and nursing home workers also have to do “dirty” jobs, too.

It is NOT part of the job. Daycares are staffed with different ratios and have different room equipment to facilitate diaper changes.
Preschools that require potty training are not daycares. They don’t have changing tables, wipes, gloves, etc. for proper cleanup. They are not staffed to have a single adult focused on a single child that long.
Once it’s preschool, you should expect undies in a gallon ziplock, turd and all. 3 poop accidents and you are asked to leave the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how dad insists they bag the shit pants up so his "wife" can clean them. I'm sure she's just so thrilled to be waiting on that special bag to come home. Why doesn't dad spray and scrub the poo pants out himself?

I am 100% sure OP made that part up and the dad said no such thing. OP is lazy. I would be curious to hear what the daycare's actual policy around soiled clothing is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is forgetting that the kids in preschool now were born during COVID and many likely did not have the typical infant/toddler experience, especially since the children’s vaccine didn’t come out until they were a few years old and many daycares were folding and didn’t have spots or weren’t opening and many families were podding up, child care was hard to come by, and continues to be because the teachers now are on the whole largely new to the field. Those who were in care had masked caregivers. The early childhood game is completely different now and the young kids coming up faced a lot of challenges - so some random middle
School mom of neurotypicals weighing in with her hot takes on preschool kids with special needs who didn’t live through COVID with a baby and hasn’t changed a diaper in over a decade needs to see herself out of this conversation. Your experience is not relevant or welcome here. Child care has been decimated by COVID and teachers are brand new and have no experience with what is normal for toilet training. My son’s preschool teachers thought all the older twos could wipe (ha!) or change their own pull-ups themselves and put on shoes and pants correctly without oversight or guidance (ha!). Many kids train fully by 3 but many train earlier or later. Forcing readiness on a child who is not ready is developmentally inappropriate. Some kids just take longer.

sweetheart, plenty of children stay home with just their mothers for the first five years of their lives.

[Anonymous]

it sounds like they don't have a specific policy around how they deal with poop accidents. If they do, the father is unaware of it. They should create a policy and communicate it to parents. The father probably has no idea that this many poop accidents is abnormal or a burden to the teachers. But even if he does, the policy is something they can refer to to counsel the family out so they can find a program that will better suit their child's needs.

I agree with this. It's silly to sit around getting angry at these parents when it is in the control of the preschool to set policy and communicate it to parents. This is ultimately such a small thing. The child clearly is having toileting issues, which is not uncommon for this age group and I guarantee you this is neither the first nor last time it has happened at this school. The parent is handling it in the way that makes sense to them -- they are one parent and even a cursory perusal of this website will tell you that parents have a lot of different thoughts both about toileting and expectations for daycares or preschools.

So the school just needs to figure out how this should go and communicate it. The end. The parents need preschool so they will either comply or find a new one.

Next issue, please.