Public schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Def can’t make sweeping generalizations. Our kids are in public and I myself went private K-12. I am astounded by our public schools and the resources, academics, extracurricular they have at even the earliest school years as compared to the Catholic schools I grew up in.

I’m not sure people mean the average catholic school when they refer to private schools. I distinguish between religious and private.

Religious and private is not a differentiation. What you mean is Religious vs Independent. One could even say Religious vs Secular vs Special Needs.

[Anonymous]

My eldest started in public and we switched to private the following year and it’s honestly day and night for us/her. We were bound for a good elementary school (but not so good middle school). However, there were 2 kids in the class tht got all the attention of the teacher and aid and my well behaved, rule follower, shy daughter was getting completely ignored. It was completely different in private. More teachers, specials, other professionals, and no disruptive kids. Perhaps we were very unlucky in public and our experience is limited to 4 private schools and one public school.
Our younger kids are thriving in private as well. Would they have all been fund in public? Probably, but they are thriving in provate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They talk about it a lot because they need to justify spending that much money. But look, if you live in an area with a high low-income/non-English speaking population, then just know that public school resources will focus on getting those kids up to speed and a below average English speaker will be ignored or there may not be enough resources to focus on your kid who has an IEP or 504 for ADHD or dyslexia. If you live in a high SES area, then all the resources will be spread across all the students, and all the children will thrive. I know this from personal experience having moved and switched public schools within the same school district.

I would never send my child to private though, there are all sorts of social issues that come with that, plus the math instruction is pretty terrible.

Uh…considering in 2022 only 22% of 8th graders nationally met grade level proficiency in math, it looks like most schools are terrible at teaching math or kids are terrible at learning or both

[Anonymous]

I’m in the same boat OP - we can’t afford it if we want to properly save for college and retirement, and occasionally take a modest vacation, all of which we do.

But for me, the main reason I’d like to send my kids to private school is that they are allowed to have rules and enforce them, and if students and families don’t comply, the families are asked to not return the next year.

Just off the top of my head:

1. Dress code that is enforceable or uniform (even better)

2. Required hair cuts for boys

3. Rules against foul language in front of teachers, and just better manners enforced in general.

4. Poor behavior is actually punished and schools aren’t stuck with repeat offenders. Sending a kid to the office actually get results.

These are all things my friend tells me about her parochial catholic school.

[Anonymous]

There are advantages and disadvantages to both. Like anything else in life. I think public schools are generally a better route for a variety of reasons, but every family has their own philosophy. As far as I can tell, there will be problems in the teen years either way, private schools are sometimes more difficult to deal with, and in that case, you pay for the privilege to be treated unfairly.

[Anonymous]

We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Def can’t make sweeping generalizations. Our kids are in public and I myself went private K-12. I am astounded by our public schools and the resources, academics, extracurricular they have at even the earliest school years as compared to the Catholic schools I grew up in.

I’m not sure people mean the average catholic school when they refer to private schools. I distinguish between religious and private.

Religious and private is not a differentiation. What you mean is Religious vs Independent. One could even say Religious vs Secular vs Special Needs.

You could. But when most people are talking about privates and quality of instruction, we are talking about independent schools. The layperson does not refer to them as independent schools. People usually say private, Catholic, and Christian. I worked in independent schools and called them independent... now that I don't teach, I call them privates like most other people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Any issues with making new friendships and adjusting?

I have a 1st grader and am considering private for the middle grades, but I wonder if that's too disruptive to do public, private, public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Any issues with making new friendships and adjusting?

I have a 1st grader and am considering private for the middle grades, but I wonder if that's too disruptive to do public, private, public.

No, it’s been absolutely fine. They’ve had no problems finding like-minded kids to be friends with. I would do private now, then switch to public later if they have good opportunities in public. The elementary years are so formative. That is when you want your kids surrounded by good influences and loving attentive teachers that have the ability to meet them where they are. The later years they are much more capable and and mature enough to handle all the negatives that come with public school, while taking advantage of gifted programs, AP classes, and/or dual college enrollment. Public middle and high school classes offer much more academic variation than elementary school is able to offer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Any issues with making new friendships and adjusting?

I have a 1st grader and am considering private for the middle grades, but I wonder if that's too disruptive to do public, private, public.

No, it’s been absolutely fine. They’ve had no problems finding like-minded kids to be friends with. I would do private now, then switch to public later if they have good opportunities in public. The elementary years are so formative. That is when you want your kids surrounded by good influences and loving attentive teachers that have the ability to meet them where they are. The later years they are much more capable and and mature enough to handle all the negatives that come with public school, while taking advantage of gifted programs, AP classes, and/or dual college enrollment. Public middle and high school classes offer much more academic variation than elementary school is able to offer

Ugh I go back and forth on this. Public kindergarten was not a good experience with disruptive kids hitting my son (and other kids) and the curriculum was lacking. This year they are still doing the Lucy Caulkins nonsense, but at least I am supplementing literary and math at home. The 1st grade teacher seems great and is not putting up with behavioral issues (and the wild kid from last year is in one of the other classes), sends weekly updates, loads class pictures, and seems genuinely interested. I guess I'm finding the public experience to be wildly different based on teacher and classroom dynamics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Any issues with making new friendships and adjusting?

I have a 1st grader and am considering private for the middle grades, but I wonder if that's too disruptive to do public, private, public.

No, it’s been absolutely fine. They’ve had no problems finding like-minded kids to be friends with. I would do private now, then switch to public later if they have good opportunities in public. The elementary years are so formative. That is when you want your kids surrounded by good influences and loving attentive teachers that have the ability to meet them where they are. The later years they are much more capable and and mature enough to handle all the negatives that come with public school, while taking advantage of gifted programs, AP classes, and/or dual college enrollment. Public middle and high school classes offer much more academic variation than elementary school is able to offer

Ugh I go back and forth on this. Public kindergarten was not a good experience with disruptive kids hitting my son (and other kids) and the curriculum was lacking. This year they are still doing the Lucy Caulkins nonsense, but at least I am supplementing literary and math at home. The 1st grade teacher seems great and is not putting up with behavioral issues (and the wild kid from last year is in one of the other classes), sends weekly updates, loads class pictures, and seems genuinely interested. I guess I'm finding the public experience to be wildly different based on teacher and classroom dynamics.

As a public school sub, this is 100% true. You can work in one 3rd grade classroom that has no behavioral issues, sweet kids who listen, follow directions, help out, etc. The teacher leaves plans that are organized and of good quality and you can tell she has good classroom systems in place. Then the next day you can be literally across the hall in another 3rd grade classroom and the kids are loud and unruly, don't stay seated or on task at all, don't respond to requests to sit down and focus on classwork, lesson plans are lacking detail or enough material to fill the day, etc. Its crazy how different it can be and you can easily see how one family would think the school was great and another would not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Any issues with making new friendships and adjusting?

I have a 1st grader and am considering private for the middle grades, but I wonder if that's too disruptive to do public, private, public.

No, it’s been absolutely fine. They’ve had no problems finding like-minded kids to be friends with. I would do private now, then switch to public later if they have good opportunities in public. The elementary years are so formative. That is when you want your kids surrounded by good influences and loving attentive teachers that have the ability to meet them where they are. The later years they are much more capable and and mature enough to handle all the negatives that come with public school, while taking advantage of gifted programs, AP classes, and/or dual college enrollment. Public middle and high school classes offer much more academic variation than elementary school is able to offer

Ugh I go back and forth on this. Public kindergarten was not a good experience with disruptive kids hitting my son (and other kids) and the curriculum was lacking. This year they are still doing the Lucy Caulkins nonsense, but at least I am supplementing literary and math at home. The 1st grade teacher seems great and is not putting up with behavioral issues (and the wild kid from last year is in one of the other classes), sends weekly updates, loads class pictures, and seems genuinely interested. I guess I'm finding the public experience to be wildly different based on teacher and classroom dynamics.

As a public school sub, this is 100% true. You can work in one 3rd grade classroom that has no behavioral issues, sweet kids who listen, follow directions, help out, etc. The teacher leaves plans that are organized and of good quality and you can tell she has good classroom systems in place. Then the next day you can be literally across the hall in another 3rd grade classroom and the kids are loud and unruly, don't stay seated or on task at all, don't respond to requests to sit down and focus on classwork, lesson plans are lacking detail or enough material to fill the day, etc. Its crazy how different it can be and you can easily see how one family would think the school was great and another would not.

As a former private school parent, I can assure you that the same is true for private elementary schools, as well; and even when there are only two or three teachers per grade. I was amazed by the discrepancies between classes, ie teachers. After a particularly frustrating experience, where my child’s teacher was more incompetent babysitter rather than educator (and a worshiper of Lucy Calkins), I decided to switch public because at least I wouldn’t be paying for a crappy teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the same boat OP - we can’t afford it if we want to properly save for college and retirement, and occasionally take a modest vacation, all of which we do.

But for me, the main reason I’d like to send my kids to private school is that they are allowed to have rules and enforce them, and if students and families don’t comply, the families are asked to not return the next year.

Just off the top of my head:

1. Dress code that is enforceable or uniform (even better)

2. Required hair cuts for boys

3. Rules against foul language in front of teachers, and just better manners enforced in general.

4. Poor behavior is actually punished and schools aren’t stuck with repeat offenders. Sending a kid to the office actually get results.

These are all things my friend tells me about her parochial catholic school.

I agree with above, except for " Required hair cuts for boys". Really? Why not throw in "girls required to keep their hair long and tidy", and "no corn rolls".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did private through 6th and that was perfect. My kids got to spend childhood in classes were rules were (generally) respected and enforced, kids and teachers were respectful, they were able to have the individual academic and emotional needs met.

We switched to public because in the upper grades there are actually way more opportunities for advanced instruction. While yes, there are major behavioral problems, my kids are old enough to ignore and carry on.

Generally, the harder classes in the upper grades in public don't have have the troublemakers. I went to a rough public HS, but took mostly honors (real honors, not the fake ones of today) and AP classes. Everyone in those classes was serious about academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

Not so sure about that