Taking a semester off for mental health reasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. Went to community college. Did NOT work. The last thing I personally needed was to see myself as a failure who was doomed to an hourly position forever. I needed hope. YMMV there, of course.

I would insist on therapy. My parents didn't, and while I did go back and finish my degree, I would have been happier after some intensive mental health help.

Just want to clarify, I would insist my kid work if they failed out for partying and never going to class. But I don't think someone should be punished for having a mental illness by being forced to wait tables or work retail.

It’s not punishment. It’s honest work. Having a tough, grubby hourly job did more for my son’s depression than therapy did (maybe not more than meds, but I think as much). Years and years of therapy didn’t pull him out of depression but working did. It feels good to make money, to know you can rely on yourself, to be around people who have different experiences and expectations for life.

Honestly, the attitude that a job like this is a punishment is part of why kids like ours have problems. It reinforces the stifling idea that white collar work at the “right” kind of employer is the only acceptable path through life, and if you fail at it, life is over.

Agree. The purpose is having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Flipping burgers is hardly a purpose. Do you hear yourself?

Not that PP but it's more of a purpose than not having anything to do at all. Lying around feeling like a total failure is not going to pull anyone out of depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. Went to community college. Did NOT work. The last thing I personally needed was to see myself as a failure who was doomed to an hourly position forever. I needed hope. YMMV there, of course.

I would insist on therapy. My parents didn't, and while I did go back and finish my degree, I would have been happier after some intensive mental health help.

Just want to clarify, I would insist my kid work if they failed out for partying and never going to class. But I don't think someone should be punished for having a mental illness by being forced to wait tables or work retail.

It’s not punishment. It’s honest work. Having a tough, grubby hourly job did more for my son’s depression than therapy did (maybe not more than meds, but I think as much). Years and years of therapy didn’t pull him out of depression but working did. It feels good to make money, to know you can rely on yourself, to be around people who have different experiences and expectations for life.

Honestly, the attitude that a job like this is a punishment is part of why kids like ours have problems. It reinforces the stifling idea that white collar work at the “right” kind of employer is the only acceptable path through life, and if you fail at it, life is over.

Agree. The purpose is having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Flipping burgers is hardly a purpose. Do you hear yourself?

Can you direct me to the post that specified it must be flipping burgers?

Listen, half my family has waited tables, and all of them would tell you the experience had value (and not just because you went home with hundreds of dollars on a good night).

Do you really think it’s healthy for a person struggling with mental health issues to stay home all day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. Went to community college. Did NOT work. The last thing I personally needed was to see myself as a failure who was doomed to an hourly position forever. I needed hope. YMMV there, of course.

I would insist on therapy. My parents didn't, and while I did go back and finish my degree, I would have been happier after some intensive mental health help.

Just want to clarify, I would insist my kid work if they failed out for partying and never going to class. But I don't think someone should be punished for having a mental illness by being forced to wait tables or work retail.

It’s not punishment. It’s honest work. Having a tough, grubby hourly job did more for my son’s depression than therapy did (maybe not more than meds, but I think as much). Years and years of therapy didn’t pull him out of depression but working did. It feels good to make money, to know you can rely on yourself, to be around people who have different experiences and expectations for life.

Honestly, the attitude that a job like this is a punishment is part of why kids like ours have problems. It reinforces the stifling idea that white collar work at the “right” kind of employer is the only acceptable path through life, and if you fail at it, life is over.

Agree. The purpose is having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Flipping burgers is hardly a purpose. Do you hear yourself?

Can you direct me to the post that specified it must be flipping burgers?

Listen, half my family has waited tables, and all of them would tell you the experience had value (and not just because you went home with hundreds of dollars on a good night).

Do you really think it’s healthy for a person struggling with mental health issues to stay home all day?

Did you see where I said I went to community college? Waiting tables isn't a purpose, either. Show me where the future in that is, please? Show me how it guides a young person to a better life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you and your child are going through this, but dealing with this now will bring so many benefits in the future. If you are local in the DC area check out the Ascend program at MCA. It's all kids taking a semester off to work on emotional wellness. https://metcounseling.com/services/ascend/ We are so glad we found it for our child.

OP here, thank you for this recommendation

[Anonymous]

It's tricky b/c it's easy to not (ever) go back to college once your kid feels comfortable (and complacent) at home.
Sorta like taking a break from your daily exercise routine. Once you get in a rut, it's really hard to pull yourself up and get back in it.

You tell yourself a ton of excuses as to why you're not ready to go back to school and that's a slippery slope.

Ymmv though Op. You don't say how extreme the mental condition is so it's hard to predict if your kid can get a job (or hold on to one or even be hired) while back at home .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. Went to community college. Did NOT work. The last thing I personally needed was to see myself as a failure who was doomed to an hourly position forever. I needed hope. YMMV there, of course.

I would insist on therapy. My parents didn't, and while I did go back and finish my degree, I would have been happier after some intensive mental health help.

Just want to clarify, I would insist my kid work if they failed out for partying and never going to class. But I don't think someone should be punished for having a mental illness by being forced to wait tables or work retail.

It’s not punishment. It’s honest work. Having a tough, grubby hourly job did more for my son’s depression than therapy did (maybe not more than meds, but I think as much). Years and years of therapy didn’t pull him out of depression but working did. It feels good to make money, to know you can rely on yourself, to be around people who have different experiences and expectations for life.

Honestly, the attitude that a job like this is a punishment is part of why kids like ours have problems. It reinforces the stifling idea that white collar work at the “right” kind of employer is the only acceptable path through life, and if you fail at it, life is over.

Agree. The purpose is having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Flipping burgers is hardly a purpose. Do you hear yourself?

Eh, for a college sophomore who is, basically, dropping out of college b/c of mental issues flipping burgers isn't so bad.

[Anonymous]

Op if you kid can, they should push through. Mental health issues don't go away when you take a break from responsibilities. They continue.

Unless kid wants to drop out of college permanently, which is an option of course, they should keep going.

good luck.

[Anonymous]

My cousins son struggled after his grandfather died and ended up taking a year off. He spent that time working at a kennel, hanging out at home, and thinking about what he really wanted to be doing. He eventually went back to school, changed his major, and from what I understand is doing well now.

[Anonymous]

Years ago I did this. Early in the second semester of my sophomore year, I flew home from school because I was ill but I was pretty broken. My parents quickly figured out I needed to sit out the rest of the semester, and probably not go back to my first school.
When I got physically better, I got a job and started therapy. I took classes in the summer and the fall at a community college and transferred the following spring semester.
The transfer was pretty seamless. Graduated on time, and had a really good academic and social experience at the second school.
Good luck to your son. You being supportive of him makes all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this. Went to community college. Did NOT work. The last thing I personally needed was to see myself as a failure who was doomed to an hourly position forever. I needed hope. YMMV there, of course.

I would insist on therapy. My parents didn't, and while I did go back and finish my degree, I would have been happier after some intensive mental health help.

Just want to clarify, I would insist my kid work if they failed out for partying and never going to class. But I don't think someone should be punished for having a mental illness by being forced to wait tables or work retail.

It’s not punishment. It’s honest work. Having a tough, grubby hourly job did more for my son’s depression than therapy did (maybe not more than meds, but I think as much). Years and years of therapy didn’t pull him out of depression but working did. It feels good to make money, to know you can rely on yourself, to be around people who have different experiences and expectations for life.

Honestly, the attitude that a job like this is a punishment is part of why kids like ours have problems. It reinforces the stifling idea that white collar work at the “right” kind of employer is the only acceptable path through life, and if you fail at it, life is over.

Agree. The purpose is having a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Flipping burgers is hardly a purpose. Do you hear yourself?

Eh, for a college sophomore who is, basically, dropping out of college b/c of mental issues flipping burgers isn't so bad.

Full time community college sets them up for a better future.