Weird Adults

[Anonymous]

Out of college I interned on the Hill and I remember trying to make conversation with a full time staffer. She had just mentioned she was going to some event at an embassy and I tried to ask her about it by saying something like ‘oh you’re going to an event at Xx’ - she responded gruffly “it’s invitation only.” This was ten years ago and I still remember how taken aback I was by the whole interaction. DC is a weird place.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone like that. But we also don't wait for a school bus. All kids walk, bike or drive to school. I'm the weird one and I blame it on being foreign.

[Anonymous]

I’m a new Englander originally and find DC to be very unfriendly and unwelcoming and weird. I also greet strangers who look startled and embarrassed then say “good morning” (sometimes). Most just run around with ear buds and ignore. This behavior would be considered bizarre and suspect in New England. Even close neighbors here are “hi and bye” neighbors after years in the same home! Most don’t even know each others’ names. Weird adults indeed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talk to strangers and smile at people... who think I'm weird

Apparently this sort of behavior isn’t allowed in the dc metro area. You are supposed to avoid eye contact and remain silent. So weird.

My kid goes to school in the south and it’s striking how friendly people are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I hope you realize that you're seeing the worse side of things on DCUM, where people spill their innermost insecurities and prejudices, that they would never reveal to their real-life friends in such a dictatorial way. There is a humility in real-life interactions, and an acceptance of other people's views, that there isn't online, where people hide behind keyboards and project more inflexibility. But that's only if you get them one-on-one. In a real-life or virtual group, people can try to virtue signal to show they're part of the group, and that can get discriminatory fast, since the most effective way of showing they belong is to sink another group.

Homo Sapiens is highly evolved technically, and highly evolved socially, but it's still the social behavior of tribes. If we want to unite the earth and move on to other planets, I think we may have more work to do on the social front than on the technical front.

I still think we need to shame egregiously bad behavior. There's too much of that going on in larger society.

[Anonymous]

I like this thread because it is revealing of our area. This behavior seeps out into the burbs too. Growing up in the Midwest and smaller town I adjusted by expectations. They often say this region is Hollywood for ugly/smart people and I see some truth too that. I am a striver just like anyone else here. I guess there many people like me who are just used to books then interacting with people.

I am going back to my roots and just trying to be friendly as a new parent. There are still "weird"people on the playgrounds but try not to let it bother me. If I am friendly and meet others not weird, a plus for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t found any if this to be the case in any neighborhood I’ve lived in the DMV. Friendly neighbors. Friendly people at my gym. Friendly parents at kids’ games and school.

Maybe it’s what you put out into the world…it’s what you get back.0

+100

I have lived all over the DMV and the very vast majority are kind, interesting, friendly people. I’m in Bethesda now and find it incredibly friendly!

[Anonymous]

I’ve lived in the dc area for 30 years. I agree it seems to be getting worse all the time. People spend too much time staring at their phones, mindlessly consuming things that don’t improve themselves, and in the meantime their social skills erode. I bet it’s increasingly true everywhere, not just here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I talk to strangers and smile at people... who think I'm weird

Apparently this sort of behavior isn’t allowed in the dc metro area. You are supposed to avoid eye contact and remain silent. So weird.

My kid goes to school in the south and it’s striking how friendly people are.

DC used to be like this when I was growing up. I was so shocked at the unfriendliness when I went to college in the NE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area, OP. It’s mind-blowing how socially inept so many people are.

+1 It's easy to make friends, but you have to deal with a lot of poor social skills. Another pp is right about the mental illness. Lots of overly anxious people who are into identity politics and fully buy into whatever the latest talking points are. So you end up with a lot of unbalanced strivers with poor social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By “weird “ do you actually mean “mentally ill?”

- because more than 50% of liberal white women are mentally ill, and DC voted 96% dem / liberal in the last election in DC.

The vast majority of people you meet in this area have a mental disease.

https://wibc.com/108211/pew-study-white-liberals-disproportionately-suffer-from-mental-illness/

I didn't read the article, but it's obvious.

This is why schools were closed for a year and a half. For example, one overweight mom with anxiety (raised in the DMV) started parroting the WTU talking points. She made fun of a mom who advocated to reopen schools (behind her back). Meanwhile she kept her kids out of school, and her older daughter's anxiety ratcheted up. She was also trying to get her child into the clique with the mean girls. They would share rides but then the mean girls wouldn't hang out with her daughter at the events. So her kid was even more anxious about that. So this overly anxious mom is raising the next gen of overly anxious moms.

People like her have to stay in DC because they'll only live in a very liberal place and they're not attractive enough for other uber liberal places like NYC or LA. I left DC and you couldn't pay me enough money to ever go back. I feel like I broke out of prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People like her have to stay in DC because they'll only live in a very liberal place and they're not attractive enough for other uber liberal places like NYC or LA. I left DC and you couldn't pay me enough money to ever go back. I feel like I broke out of prison.

Dude, as a long-term lurker I've seen you post multiple times how happy you are to be out of the DC area... and yet you keep coming back to this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are adults (especially parents) so weird!? I am an adult and parent. I find this group of people to be uptight, make life unnecessarily difficult. They are so worried about being….I don’t even know what….they’re just so busy trying to be relevant / in the know or whatever non-sense they create unpleasantness. It’s very sad.

PSA: RELAX people. Life is short. You can talk to whomever you please. You can wear what you want. You can take the subway. You can just be. AND, more importantly, let other people be. Go ahead, try having an original thought. Talk to a stranger. Smile for goodness sakes.

You left out 2 crucial details: 1) you are referring to D.C. area parents, and 2) parents around here are overwhelmingly progressive/left.

NW conservative parents are just as uptight and unfriendly. I knew many when my kids were in private school. Everyone thinks you want something from them in DC. I guess I do want folks to lighten up, be funny, and most importantly be real. Clearly too much to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area, OP. It’s mind-blowing how socially inept so many people are.

Most are not from DC area and many are here temporarily - perhaps that's why?

I think this is a big part of it. People approach living in this area in a very transactional way. They come here for the jobs and economic opportunities, but it's not truly "home" to them so they don't have an interest in making deep connections in the community. Whether they are from another country or just elsewhere in the US, they call that other place home and DC is just where they are living right now -- even if they have no plans to leave the area anytime soon.

There are little pockets of areas that tend to have more people who were born and raised here and now raising their kids here. Vienna comes to mind. But nothing compared to other parts of the US where it's the norm to settle down very close to where you grew up, even if you went to college somewhere else. I grew up in an area like that and couldn't wait to get out -- it felt so small. Moving to DC in my early 20s felt magical. Now as a 40 year old mom I'm completely over it. My sister lives in a smaller area and people are just so much more interested in making friends with their neighbors and with the parents of kids their kids go to school with. They place a higher priority on relationships than they do their jobs and success. Usually when you meet someone new there, you end up having at least one mutual friend or shared experience. Those are the things that create bonds. I wish we had started a family somewhere like that. This area is just lacking in community and I think it makes people more anxious and depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are adults (especially parents) so weird!? I am an adult and parent. I find this group of people to be uptight, make life unnecessarily difficult. They are so worried about being….I don’t even know what….they’re just so busy trying to be relevant / in the know or whatever non-sense they create unpleasantness. It’s very sad.

PSA: RELAX people. Life is short. You can talk to whomever you please. You can wear what you want. You can take the subway. You can just be. AND, more importantly, let other people be. Go ahead, try having an original thought. Talk to a stranger. Smile for goodness sakes.

You left out 2 crucial details: 1) you are referring to D.C. area parents, and 2) parents around here are overwhelmingly progressive/left.

NW conservative parents are just as uptight and unfriendly. I knew many when my kids were in private school. Everyone thinks you want something from them in DC. I guess I do want folks to lighten up, be funny, and most importantly be real. Clearly too much to ask.

They are clinging tightly to their red Swingline stapler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area, OP. It’s mind-blowing how socially inept so many people are.

Most are not from DC area and many are here temporarily - perhaps that's why?

I think this is a big part of it. People approach living in this area in a very transactional way. They come here for the jobs and economic opportunities, but it's not truly "home" to them so they don't have an interest in making deep connections in the community. Whether they are from another country or just elsewhere in the US, they call that other place home and DC is just where they are living right now -- even if they have no plans to leave the area anytime soon.

There are little pockets of areas that tend to have more people who were born and raised here and now raising their kids here. Vienna comes to mind. But nothing compared to other parts of the US where it's the norm to settle down very close to where you grew up, even if you went to college somewhere else. I grew up in an area like that and couldn't wait to get out -- it felt so small. Moving to DC in my early 20s felt magical. Now as a 40 year old mom I'm completely over it. My sister lives in a smaller area and people are just so much more interested in making friends with their neighbors and with the parents of kids their kids go to school with. They place a higher priority on relationships than they do their jobs and success. Usually when you meet someone new there, you end up having at least one mutual friend or shared experience. Those are the things that create bonds. I wish we had started a family somewhere like that. This area is just lacking in community and I think it makes people more anxious and depressed.

I think this is spot on.