Case Study: Why has Lauren Graham been single most of her life?
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Anonymous
| Based on interviews I read when he was on Six Feet Under, Peter Krause struck me as a moody, unhappy guy. She wasted her time. |
Anonymous
I’m Obviously not Lauren Graham, but I’m conventionally attractive, well educated and relatively successful. I have wonderful long-term relationships with family and friends. I am just now, in my early 40s, finally in a relationship that I believe is going to result in marriage. It isn’t that I didn’t want or believe in marriage earlier - I did. I didn’t focus solely on my career or some other goal, either - I dated a lot. I truly just didn’t meet the right person before now, and I was happy “enough” single/never willing to force anything I was unsure about. I wish I’d known him sooner, I was certainly ready to be in a marriage/permanent committed relationship before this. I just hadn’t met him yet 🤷🏼♀️ |
Anonymous
| I finally married at 48. We were living together and we realized that legally it was easier to be married. No big romance thing for us. I never wanted children and marriage meant little to me. It legally has been easier being married. I lived with another for 8 years. years, no marriage and no regrets. |
Anonymous
Good for you! I am 42 and have been divorced for 7 years. I have been very focused on my kids and I sometimes feel sad, like maybe it won't happy for me. But maybe it will. Anyway, I am happy for you! |
Anonymous
That's awesome. And I have to think LG has been similarly happy. I remember her talking about how she was a really hands on "parent" figure to PK's son during very formative years, and it was obvious that she got a lot of fulfillment out of that experience. Just to say, single doesn't mean spinster sitting at home with cats watching Matlock. I am sure she always was fulfilled and enjpying herself. I am surprised people align marriage = happiness, because it does not work that way at all. I know so many, way too many, women who take on just SOO MUCH for their partners and it is not reciprocated. They feel so unhappy, destroyed even, but they would never do anything about it or leave. The fear of being alone, or having to do motherhood on your own, or what society will think, or whatever it is, is still so huge. |
Anonymous
I would just like to not that for some of us in unhappy marriages, it's not fear of being alone or even fear of being a single parent that stops us (the idea of being alone and raising my child alone sounds, honestly, awesome), it's that this isn't really an option available to you. Divorcing someone with whom you have kids means co-parenting with them while separated. It can also be really hard on kids, especially if you are not wealthy and there are good financial reasons why keeping households combined will financially benefit your child. It's not fear of being alone, I'd love to be alone and I know I'd do well (my DH, I'm not so sure about -- he is incredibly codependent and I don't know how he would function or deliver has a dad on his own). |
Anonymous
It can be both- she can be surprised she never got married but also happily single. We’re not used to the idea of well adjusted people who adapt to their circumstances but they exist and maybe she is one of them! |
Anonymous
| One of my work friends got married last week for the first time at age 72! So happy for her. |
Anonymous
No evidence of this. In her book she says she almost dated Matthew Perry. In his book he says he went on a date with Lauren... |
Anonymous
Good point. She's a writer, must have have known it was provocative to use that specific terminology. |
Anonymous
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I have an older cousin whose parents had a crap marriage and were just terribly mismatched. Her mom was an academic and her dad was a professional athlete. Her dad cheated all the time and they eventually divorced. Her mom never remarried but had an incredibly devoted bf until her death.
My cousin NEVER wanted to be married. And she had tons of men who wanted to marry her. Maybe Lauren Graham is the same way. A |
Anonymous
I think this is becoming the norm. Historically, men brought financial stability to the table and women brought home/kid stability to the table. Now women have as much earning potential as men and still manage home/kids. So what does a woman get out of a marriage? Add to it that a financially successful woman can afford IUI/IVF, then there isn't even the need for a male partner to conceive a child. Many people will argue that a 2 parent household is more stable and creates a more loving environment than a single parent household or that by having a child as a single woman deprives a child of a male role model and an opportunity to grow up around a healthy adult relationship. I think that's true if you have a healthy adult relationship to model for your kid---but it seems that many on DCUM are unhappy and want to leave except for the kids. To me, that says the relationship isn't that healthy. Male role models can be provided by many people--not just the biological dad. People in relationships now have to be able to bring something to the table to enhance the other persons life. They cant fall back on older gender sterotypes. |
Anonymous
Same situation- single at 41 and focused on son. I’m hopeful for myself but it hasn’t happened. This story is encouraging. |