Middle school: how much teacher contact do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

You sound like a kiss ass. Many kids ARE capable of handling the majority of their schoolwork themselves. I only got involved when there was a problem.

Some kids start to play games with turning in assignments and aren't as perfect as your kids. Mine is very capable but just doesn't feel like doing the work so we have to stay on top of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

I disagree strongly (and so does most research on this topic). Letting your kid handle it shows that you think they are capable and helps them learn skills they will need in HS and beyond. It’s only more important to do so if they have EF challenges, anxiety, and/or ADHD. Your “participation” is not setting your kid up for success but for failure. Please read any parenting book out there - maybe Self Driven Child by Stixrud or Duct Tape Parenting for starters.

Said the checked out parent trying to justify not helping their kids.

[Anonymous]

I hate the, “I’m sending a weekly email because I’m required to send it.” They’re typically full of old, irrelevant information. I’d rather hear…these are the upcoming due dates of these big assignments, these are the expectations for that assignment, etc.

Honestly, middle and high school teachers (and counselors!!!) are the worst at responding to emails, so I’d rather they focus on that. It shouldn’t take three emails over a three month period to respond- and only to finally respond when admin was copied on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

I disagree strongly (and so does most research on this topic). Letting your kid handle it shows that you think they are capable and helps them learn skills they will need in HS and beyond. It’s only more important to do so if they have EF challenges, anxiety, and/or ADHD. Your “participation” is not setting your kid up for success but for failure. Please read any parenting book out there - maybe Self Driven Child by Stixrud or Duct Tape Parenting for starters.

Said the checked out parent trying to justify not helping their kids.

DCUM gonna DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school teachers here trying to settle a debate amongst friends in different school districts:

How much teacher-initiated email (or handouts sent home) communication do you want from your kids teachers, and how much do you actually get? Grade level would be helpful context but not necessary if you don’t want to give it.

I only want to hear once every three months unless there is an issue. Middle school kids are old enough to be responsible for their studies. Micromanaging would only lead to a fraught relationship with the kid.

[Anonymous]

Whatever I needed to know, my kids discussed it with me anyways and I had access to their grades to monitor their progress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school teachers here trying to settle a debate amongst friends in different school districts:

How much teacher-initiated email (or handouts sent home) communication do you want from your kids teachers, and how much do you actually get? Grade level would be helpful context but not necessary if you don’t want to give it.

I only want to hear once every three months unless there is an issue. Middle school kids are old enough to be responsible for their studies. Micromanaging would only lead to a fraught relationship with the kid.

DCUM maxim: what works for my kid works for everyone's kid!
And its corollary: what doesn't work for my kid doesn't work for anyone's kid!

Some MS kids need a lot support. Some don't. I have one of each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

Yes you are. It’s called teaching independence. Absolutely discuss their work with them. My kid just finished middle school and he regularly talked to me about his work, but he and he alone was responsible for staying on top of getting it fine and keeping track. He got all As and a place in a competitive high school program and that wasn’t because I held his hand for three years. By fostering independence he’s actually ready for high school, unlike your kid who will still be turning to mommy to ask what to do next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

You sound like a kiss ass. Many kids ARE capable of handling the majority of their schoolwork themselves. I only got involved when there was a problem.

She sounds like an idiot who is helicoptering her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

I disagree strongly (and so does most research on this topic). Letting your kid handle it shows that you think they are capable and helps them learn skills they will need in HS and beyond. It’s only more important to do so if they have EF challenges, anxiety, and/or ADHD. Your “participation” is not setting your kid up for success but for failure. Please read any parenting book out there - maybe Self Driven Child by Stixrud or Duct Tape Parenting for starters.

Said the checked out parent trying to justify not helping their kids.

You are absolutely seeing your child up to fail in high school by managing their middle school workload for them. Are you going to keep this up for college too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

Yes you are. It’s called teaching independence. Absolutely discuss their work with them. My kid just finished middle school and he regularly talked to me about his work, but he and he alone was responsible for staying on top of getting it fine and keeping track. He got all As and a place in a competitive high school program and that wasn’t because I held his hand for three years. By fostering independence he’s actually ready for high school, unlike your kid who will still be turning to mommy to ask what to do next.

That’s great that that worked for your kid, but that is not going to work with every kid.

OP, I would love to get more info so I can help scaffold for my middle schooler who is very bright but is still working on building executive function skills. PP and others who don’t need that for their kids can just ignore the email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

I disagree strongly (and so does most research on this topic). Letting your kid handle it shows that you think they are capable and helps them learn skills they will need in HS and beyond. It’s only more important to do so if they have EF challenges, anxiety, and/or ADHD. Your “participation” is not setting your kid up for success but for failure. Please read any parenting book out there - maybe Self Driven Child by Stixrud or Duct Tape Parenting for starters.

Said the checked out parent trying to justify not helping their kids.

You are absolutely seeing your child up to fail in high school by managing their middle school workload for them. Are you going to keep this up for college too?

DP here. You are committing the fallacy of the slippery slope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

Yes you are. It’s called teaching independence. Absolutely discuss their work with them. My kid just finished middle school and he regularly talked to me about his work, but he and he alone was responsible for staying on top of getting it fine and keeping track. He got all As and a place in a competitive high school program and that wasn’t because I held his hand for three years. By fostering independence he’s actually ready for high school, unlike your kid who will still be turning to mommy to ask what to do next.

Yea for him but not all kids are as perfect as yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the parent of an incoming 7th grader. I consider myself a partner in my child’s education and I would be thrilled with a ‘The Week Ahead’ email. Middle schoolers need attentive parents/caregivers who are invested in their education and participate by reading the emails, checking in on work, discussing what they are learning at the dinner table, etc. You are doing your child nor their teachers any favors by letting them handle it all on their own. Thank you teachers for all you are doing.

I disagree strongly (and so does most research on this topic). Letting your kid handle it shows that you think they are capable and helps them learn skills they will need in HS and beyond. It’s only more important to do so if they have EF challenges, anxiety, and/or ADHD. Your “participation” is not setting your kid up for success but for failure. Please read any parenting book out there - maybe Self Driven Child by Stixrud or Duct Tape Parenting for starters.

Said the checked out parent trying to justify not helping their kids.

You are absolutely seeing your child up to fail in high school by managing their middle school workload for them. Are you going to keep this up for college too?

If I need to, yes. But we have a bright kid who sometimes checks out of classes with bad teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the, “I’m sending a weekly email because I’m required to send it.” They’re typically full of old, irrelevant information. I’d rather hear…these are the upcoming due dates of these big assignments, these are the expectations for that assignment, etc.

Honestly, middle and high school teachers (and counselors!!!) are the worst at responding to emails, so I’d rather they focus on that. It shouldn’t take three emails over a three month period to respond- and only to finally respond when admin was copied on it.

Wow, not sure what MS you are in, I had completely different experience. DC graduated Julius West MS this year and I have always received a response to my emails (normally through ParentVue) within 24 hours. Typically less than that. I have resolved all the issues I had via email (class assignments, performance questions, missing SSL hours). Hoping for similar experience in HS. So far counselor responded to all my emails with questions/class corrections in the same day.