Why is saving so hard for most normal people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Your parents made $150k — that’s not lower middle class.

My thought exactly. Nowhere near lower middle class. Where I grew up that would have been upper middle class, which, in my community, many of us mistook for upper class. Lots of what OP says doesn't make a lot of sense.

OP -- be careful. You sound like my mother, who was a hoarder ... of money. Yes, there is such a thing. And it's not good.

i dunno, if OP grew up with his mom and his dad managed to deadbeat support payments it would mean that OP was primarily living at his mom's standard of living which was 25-40k as a single mom: lower middle. also, OP merely said that they now make more than both parents combined which has a *lower* bound of $150.

I had $10 million at 27 on a $140k salary thanks to working at a startup. (And then the market crashed. whoops.)

Anyway, OP-- if you're clearing RSUs, sell on vest, rebalance into some safe funds. make sure to also contribute the max to your 401k. Know that your definition of a safety net is probably more informed by trauma than most; be grateful that doesn't lead you into risky behaviour. But you should also invest in yourself and experiences. I don't mean going out to party-- but taking vacations, traveling, learning new skills that don't come naturally to you.

Your friends may find it too hard to incrementally plan out saving, maybe because they have gotten themselves too deep into debt and so digging out seems overwhelming. You can have sympathy for them without bailing them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Your parents made $150k — that’s not lower middle class.

My thought exactly. Nowhere near lower middle class. Where I grew up that would have been upper middle class, which, in my community, many of us mistook for upper class. Lots of what OP says doesn't make a lot of sense.

OP -- be careful. You sound like my mother, who was a hoarder ... of money. Yes, there is such a thing. And it's not good.

i dunno, if OP grew up with his mom and his dad managed to deadbeat support payments it would mean that OP was primarily living at his mom's standard of living which was 25-40k as a single mom: lower middle. also, OP merely said that they now make more than both parents combined which has a *lower* bound of $150.

I had $10 million at 27 on a $140k salary thanks to working at a startup. (And then the market crashed. whoops.)

Anyway, OP-- if you're clearing RSUs, sell on vest, rebalance into some safe funds. make sure to also contribute the max to your 401k. Know that your definition of a safety net is probably more informed by trauma than most; be grateful that doesn't lead you into risky behaviour. But you should also invest in yourself and experiences. I don't mean going out to party-- but taking vacations, traveling, learning new skills that don't come naturally to you.

Your friends may find it too hard to incrementally plan out saving, maybe because they have gotten themselves too deep into debt and so digging out seems overwhelming. You can have sympathy for them without bailing them out.

ok, fixing this nested quote problem. anyway, OP, congrats on saving money, try not to make it your identity because things outside your control can completely mess with your net worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get a dopamine rush every time I check my net worth and it's higher than before. I'm obsessed with making more money and investing it to increase my NW. Why does the average person not care at all about this? I'm 27 and all my friends are living in the moment, not saving anything. I grew up lower middle class and I hated every single second of it, I had divorced parents and my mom made 25-40k/yr and my dad made about 90-110k/yr. I now make more than both parents combined with a net worth of 600k, which I know is considered mediocre on this site but it's infinitely better than what I grew up with. I never want to feel poor again. None of my friends are good with money and they all blow it every month, even the ones without trust funds who should be saving.

I grew up with kids who went to college to become surgeons, investment bankers, consultants, lawyers, etc. They spent all of their teens, 20s, 30s and some into their 40s and later studying and working really hard to achieve their goals. Then they realized that they spent the best years of their lives in hospitals, offices, hotels rooms, intercontinental flights, generally working more than 80 hours a week. For them it was a binary choice. Success in a competitive field required all of their time and attention. These are the golden handcuffs. Some did well financially and others burned out and retired early to some other field of work. They don't say it out loud often, but they all have regrets about giving up all they could have done in their youth. Money gives you security, but money is not the goal. Money allows you the option to do what you want. My friends deferred those choices to middle age, but there are things you can never go back and do when you are middle aged that you could have done when you were young. Said more succinctly, you can never be young again.

At 27, I would ask you to think about whether your obsession with accumulating money or constant delaying of gratification is really going to give you what you want out of life. I find it surprising that many people don't live their lives asking themselves this question often enough.

Wrong. Youth doesn’t matter; only money does. I happily sacrificed my 20s and 30s in the pursuit of money, and now at age 41, I don’t regret it one bit.

This may be because I am a man, and men are judged on their wealth to a much greater degree than women. For women, I could see your 20s being the irreplaceable best years of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get a dopamine rush every time I check my net worth and it's higher than before. I'm obsessed with making more money and investing it to increase my NW. Why does the average person not care at all about this? I'm 27 and all my friends are living in the moment, not saving anything. I grew up lower middle class and I hated every single second of it, I had divorced parents and my mom made 25-40k/yr and my dad made about 90-110k/yr. I now make more than both parents combined with a net worth of 600k, which I know is considered mediocre on this site but it's infinitely better than what I grew up with. I never want to feel poor again. None of my friends are good with money and they all blow it every month, even the ones without trust funds who should be saving.

I grew up with kids who went to college to become surgeons, investment bankers, consultants, lawyers, etc. They spent all of their teens, 20s, 30s and some into their 40s and later studying and working really hard to achieve their goals. Then they realized that they spent the best years of their lives in hospitals, offices, hotels rooms, intercontinental flights, generally working more than 80 hours a week. For them it was a binary choice. Success in a competitive field required all of their time and attention. These are the golden handcuffs. Some did well financially and others burned out and retired early to some other field of work. They don't say it out loud often, but they all have regrets about giving up all they could have done in their youth. Money gives you security, but money is not the goal. Money allows you the option to do what you want. My friends deferred those choices to middle age, but there are things you can never go back and do when you are middle aged that you could have done when you were young. Said more succinctly, you can never be young again.

At 27, I would ask you to think about whether your obsession with accumulating money or constant delaying of gratification is really going to give you what you want out of life. I find it surprising that many people don't live their lives asking themselves this question often enough.

Wrong. Youth doesn’t matter; only money does. I happily sacrificed my 20s and 30s in the pursuit of money, and now at age 41, I don’t regret it one bit.

This may be because I am a man, and men are judged on their wealth to a much greater degree than women. For women, I could see your 20s being the irreplaceable best years of your life.

You do you, but viewing life as one where your point of view is the only valid one and everyone else's as wrong probably makes you insufferable and someone no one wants to associate with. It also sounds like a borderline mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Good luck being married, OP! You seem very tightly wound 😬😬

[Anonymous]

Congratulations, OP. You should absolutely feel good about saving 600k. It’s phenomenal. Financial independence is necessary. You’re still very young, so do something to upgrade your living situation, or mind, body, and soul— vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get a dopamine rush every time I check my net worth and it's higher than before. I'm obsessed with making more money and investing it to increase my NW. Why does the average person not care at all about this? I'm 27 and all my friends are living in the moment, not saving anything. I grew up lower middle class and I hated every single second of it, I had divorced parents and my mom made 25-40k/yr and my dad made about 90-110k/yr. I now make more than both parents combined with a net worth of 600k, which I know is considered mediocre on this site but it's infinitely better than what I grew up with. I never want to feel poor again. None of my friends are good with money and they all blow it every month, even the ones without trust funds who should be saving.

I grew up with kids who went to college to become surgeons, investment bankers, consultants, lawyers, etc. They spent all of their teens, 20s, 30s and some into their 40s and later studying and working really hard to achieve their goals. Then they realized that they spent the best years of their lives in hospitals, offices, hotels rooms, intercontinental flights, generally working more than 80 hours a week. For them it was a binary choice. Success in a competitive field required all of their time and attention. These are the golden handcuffs. Some did well financially and others burned out and retired early to some other field of work. They don't say it out loud often, but they all have regrets about giving up all they could have done in their youth. Money gives you security, but money is not the goal. Money allows you the option to do what you want. My friends deferred those choices to middle age, but there are things you can never go back and do when you are middle aged that you could have done when you were young. Said more succinctly, you can never be young again.

At 27, I would ask you to think about whether your obsession with accumulating money or constant delaying of gratification is really going to give you what you want out of life. I find it surprising that many people don't live their lives asking themselves this question often enough.

Wrong. Youth doesn’t matter; only money does. I happily sacrificed my 20s and 30s in the pursuit of money, and now at age 41, I don’t regret it one bit.

This may be because I am a man, and men are judged on their wealth to a much greater degree than women. For women, I could see your 20s being the irreplaceable best years of your life.

Sexist, douche, arrogant. You'll be quite the catch. Your mansplaining is so endearing.