Gen Z lacking social skills

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older generation always thinks the younger, more casual way of doing things is inappropriate. 25 years ago my mother complained that my emails were too short…That I probably was used to sending short emails at work but my emails to her were rude. She’d add a lot of cordials as a greeting with more fluff as a sign off just to send me Auntie’s new address. I’d reply “thanks for sending”. Now we send text, and she still starts with “hi betty”, types s king message and sometimes even signs it “love mom”.

How long are your texts OP?

My FIL texts this way too. I respond appropriately, briefly but with friendliness, and he gets offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

Yep. Same - I am the primary contact for my kid's daycare. There's a difference between phone on the table and buried in scrolling the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College professor here. How tf am I supposed to teach social skills. I'm trying to teach them real skills. If their parents/elementary school failed then I guess it's too late. You don't just randomly learn social skills at age 20 - actually, the fact that you would even imagine that suggests to me that OP has no social skills either.

My friend who is a professor starts every class with a basic (short, not a whole class or anything) reminders about some email etiquette, classroom etiquette, etc. Is it going to fix their mannerisms entirely? No. But maybe it helps some 18year olds figure out that when they're emailing someone in a professional context (especially when asking for a favor) being polite, and following some social conventions goes a long way. (And she's not a strict, old-fashioned person at all!)

I find the idea that people can't learn social skills at age 20 to be baffling. I'm 47 and if I was visiting a new country I'd look up some basic information about norms and customs of that country. That's basically what an office job is to a young person.

Is anyone telling them to set up a new email address with just their name or at least something mature and inoffensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

That’s ridiculous. If they called you could call back after the meeting/lunch. It’s not like you are a doctor because you have kids.

Put the phone in pocket or purse, if someone calls you’ll likely feel vibration or hear ringtone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow personal cell phones at work. Problem solved

Uh, they were out to lunch. Not at work.

[Anonymous]

I'm an Xer still learning some social skills. Not all of us come out of the pod fully formed. Experience will teach them. And then they can complain about the Alphas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

That’s ridiculous. If they called you could call back after the meeting/lunch. It’s not like you are a doctor because you have kids.

Put the phone in pocket or purse, if someone calls you’ll likely feel vibration or hear ringtone.

It’s more important to me to be avail if my kid had a medical emergency - or my parent- than to impress anyone who has some bizarre issue with someone’s phone being on a table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

That’s ridiculous. If they called you could call back after the meeting/lunch. It’s not like you are a doctor because you have kids.

Put the phone in pocket or purse, if someone calls you’ll likely feel vibration or hear ringtone.

It’s more important to me to be avail if my kid had a medical emergency - or my parent- than to impress anyone who has some bizarre issue with someone’s phone being on a table

In last 22 years of being a parent I got 3-4 actual emergency calls. Personal Phones can not be on table or even on your desk in your office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

That’s ridiculous. If they called you could call back after the meeting/lunch. It’s not like you are a doctor because you have kids.

Put the phone in pocket or purse, if someone calls you’ll likely feel vibration or hear ringtone.

It’s more important to me to be avail if my kid had a medical emergency - or my parent- than to impress anyone who has some bizarre issue with someone’s phone being on a table

In last 22 years of being a parent I got 3-4 actual emergency calls. Personal Phones can not be on table or even on your desk in your office.

You're crazy.
And I'm 50ish and dislike being on my phone.

[Anonymous]

It's the first generation where they've grown up since being babies with the internet, social media, texting, and communicating digitally 90% of the time. They're terrified of talking on the phone and doing anything in person if it involves conflict. They're developmentally challenged in terms of basic human communication without some kind of digital device. They get so uncomfortable doing some as basic as using the phone to order a pizza, or to deal with something like insurance problems over the phone. Eventually the world will move away from direct human communication. GenZ is just the first generation. Once we all die off, the way gen z can only comminicate will take over. At some point, I think humans will be in capable of directly talking face to face with difficult conversations due to anxiety attacks when a screen isn't there to protect you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have summer associates at my law firm and I remind them when they talk to partners face to face, don't have their phone in their hands, and when they go out to lunch with attorneys don't put their phone on the table. One was like "yes of course" and he's 29, and the other was like "Oh damn, really? Why? But can I text while I'm in my office? Like, alone?" and she's 25. It'll be interesting to see who we extend offers to.

I always put my phone on the table bc I have kids and if the school needed to call me I need to know about it. Imagine most parents whether in legal profession or not feel similarly. You sound v rigid

That’s ridiculous. If they called you could call back after the meeting/lunch. It’s not like you are a doctor because you have kids.

Put the phone in pocket or purse, if someone calls you’ll likely feel vibration or hear ringtone.

It’s more important to me to be avail if my kid had a medical emergency - or my parent- than to impress anyone who has some bizarre issue with someone’s phone being on a table

In last 22 years of being a parent I got 3-4 actual emergency calls. Personal Phones can not be on table or even on your desk in your office.

I need my personal phone just to get through the authentication processes needed to use my office computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the first generation where they've grown up since being babies with the internet, social media, texting, and communicating digitally 90% of the time. They're terrified of talking on the phone and doing anything in person if it involves conflict. They're developmentally challenged in terms of basic human communication without some kind of digital device. They get so uncomfortable doing some as basic as using the phone to order a pizza, or to deal with something like insurance problems over the phone. Eventually the world will move away from direct human communication. GenZ is just the first generation. Once we all die off, the way gen z can only comminicate will take over. At some point, I think humans will be in capable of directly talking face to face with difficult conversations due to anxiety attacks when a screen isn't there to protect you.

I’m GenX and hate ordering pizza in the phone (they have loud restaurants, and poor connections and often don’t speak English natively) and dealing with insurance over the phone is a circle of hell — it should be a few snaps of photos and email is way more effective.

Weird examples.

We are all afraid of conflict because we are under surveillance 24/7 (phone camera in every pocket) so it’s way to easy to be #CANCELLED if you are too strident/abrasive/whatever is considered bad-of-the-moment.

[Anonymous]

Your survey of two is a sweeping generalization of an entire generation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the first generation where they've grown up since being babies with the internet, social media, texting, and communicating digitally 90% of the time. They're terrified of talking on the phone and doing anything in person if it involves conflict. They're developmentally challenged in terms of basic human communication without some kind of digital device. They get so uncomfortable doing some as basic as using the phone to order a pizza, or to deal with something like insurance problems over the phone. Eventually the world will move away from direct human communication. GenZ is just the first generation. Once we all die off, the way gen z can only comminicate will take over. At some point, I think humans will be in capable of directly talking face to face with difficult conversations due to anxiety attacks when a screen isn't there to protect you.

You are conflating the generations boomer. Millennials are the ones who are avoidant of phone conversations. They do everything with chat messaging and text. They grew up with text. Gen Z grew up with Snapchat, they actually pick up the phone and call each other. Millennials avoid conflict and apologize for everything they do. Gen Z are far more direct and unapologetic about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't interact with any Gen Zs besides DC, but my husband is big law partner and says that a lot of Gen Zs don't realize that you are supposed to talk to partners--people who will decide whether or not to help your career based on your interactions with them--differently than your peers. He says that when they socialize they talk about things like feeling insecure about how well they are doing in their jobs. No inappropriate phone use at dinner, but still lacking in social skills.

Just wondering, what would be the appropriate type of interaction here? I'm not in law and I'm curious.