Potential move to NYC with Kids

[Anonymous]

I think the biggest question is what is your lifestyle now - living situation, schools, commute? This will help guide the extent to which the move will be a downgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Have you moved back since? Things have changed a lot since the early 2000s. Neighborhoods where you used to be able to find a deal have been gentrified and built up with luxury condos. The mom and pop shops have closed down, with high end stores replacing them. The whole country has gotten more expensive, but NYC has done so on steroids.

A lot of people are mentioning to the other boroughs, but you have to keep in mind that once you get far put into the boroughs, it’s not going to really feel like “the city” anymore, so it depends on what you’re looking for. OP seems to want a reasonable commute into the city and to feel like she’s living in NYC, which is why everyone is focusing on the more expensive parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Sure, you can live much more cheaply in Kensington or Forest Hills, but you may have to walk to a bus to take to the subway stop to travel an hour into the city on a train that only runs every 30 minutes and it’s going to feel like a suburb. It’s like, I dunno, moving to Baltimore and saying that you live in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Have you moved back since? Things have changed a lot since the early 2000s. Neighborhoods where you used to be able to find a deal have been gentrified and built up with luxury condos. The mom and pop shops have closed down, with high end stores replacing them. The whole country has gotten more expensive, but NYC has done so on steroids.

A lot of people are mentioning to the other boroughs, but you have to keep in mind that once you get far put into the boroughs, it’s not going to really feel like “the city” anymore, so it depends on what you’re looking for. OP seems to want a reasonable commute into the city and to feel like she’s living in NYC, which is why everyone is focusing on the more expensive parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Sure, you can live much more cheaply in Kensington or Forest Hills, but you may have to walk to a bus to take to the subway stop to travel an hour into the city on a train that only runs every 30 minutes and it’s going to feel like a suburb. It’s like, I dunno, moving to Baltimore and saying that you live in DC.

This is all so true. And commuting in Winter really sucks, big time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Are you delusional? Renting a decent 2 bedroom is at least 6k. More like 9-10k in you’re picky and want a nicer neighborhood. 6*12 = 72k just in rent post tax!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Have you moved back since? Things have changed a lot since the early 2000s. Neighborhoods where you used to be able to find a deal have been gentrified and built up with luxury condos. The mom and pop shops have closed down, with high end stores replacing them. The whole country has gotten more expensive, but NYC has done so on steroids.

A lot of people are mentioning to the other boroughs, but you have to keep in mind that once you get far put into the boroughs, it’s not going to really feel like “the city” anymore, so it depends on what you’re looking for. OP seems to want a reasonable commute into the city and to feel like she’s living in NYC, which is why everyone is focusing on the more expensive parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Sure, you can live much more cheaply in Kensington or Forest Hills, but you may have to walk to a bus to take to the subway stop to travel an hour into the city on a train that only runs every 30 minutes and it’s going to feel like a suburb. It’s like, I dunno, moving to Baltimore and saying that you live in DC.

Oh, absolutely, you’re 100% right. I didn’t know. Breaking: Living in Lower Manhattan is expensive as hell!! Who would’ve thunk? But, you know, still best not to associate yourself with those dirty b&t people. They’re basically Jerseyites anyway.

Yes, I have lived there in recent years. As an adult, I returned to NY for my summer associate position. My old neighborhood in Upper Manhattan was still middle class and still affordable. And for the record, it felt “like the city.” There are nearly nine million people living in the city proper, and the overwhelming majority of them make ends meet without biglaw-level compensation. Many of them live in Queens, the Bronx, and Brooklyn beyond Park Slope/similar neighborhoods. It’s really ignorant to characterize their neighborhoods and circumstances as foreign to New York. By proxy, you’re suggesting that one must be affluent to have the true New York experience. Of course it helps, but that simply isn’t true.

FYI: $300k is in the 95th percentile of household income in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Are you delusional? Renting a decent 2 bedroom is at least 6k. More like 9-10k in you’re picky and want a nicer neighborhood. 6*12 = 72k just in rent post tax!

It was 3.5k when I rented two years ago in a modern building with comprehensive amenities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

I'm not the PP but we (family of 4) live in Brooklyn and have a HHi of $260. We own a multifamily townhouse, rent out one unit and live in the other, and both kids go to public schools (both were in a local Gifted and Talented program in Elementary, and the one now is in Middle School in the same district).

We're able to save for retirement and college and go on a couple of vacations a year (typically one flying vacation per year) and a winter ski trip. The kids do free afterschool provided by their schools and inexpensive enrichment classes on the weekend. We do a ton of free or cheap activities on the weekend, also (visiting museums and other cultural institutions, parks, go on hikes, bike ride, etc). We eat out or order in once a week, so we save in that area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

I'm not the PP but we (family of 4) live in Brooklyn and have a HHi of $260. We own a multifamily townhouse, rent out one unit and live in the other, and both kids go to public schools (both were in a local Gifted and Talented program in Elementary, and the one now is in Middle School in the same district).

We're able to save for retirement and college and go on a couple of vacations a year (typically one flying vacation per year) and a winter ski trip. The kids do free afterschool provided by their schools and inexpensive enrichment classes on the weekend. We do a ton of free or cheap activities on the weekend, also (visiting museums and other cultural institutions, parks, go on hikes, bike ride, etc). We eat out or order in once a week, so we save in that area.

Also should that we have one car, which allows us to travel all over city for activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Have you moved back since? Things have changed a lot since the early 2000s. Neighborhoods where you used to be able to find a deal have been gentrified and built up with luxury condos. The mom and pop shops have closed down, with high end stores replacing them. The whole country has gotten more expensive, but NYC has done so on steroids.

A lot of people are mentioning to the other boroughs, but you have to keep in mind that once you get far put into the boroughs, it’s not going to really feel like “the city” anymore, so it depends on what you’re looking for. OP seems to want a reasonable commute into the city and to feel like she’s living in NYC, which is why everyone is focusing on the more expensive parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Sure, you can live much more cheaply in Kensington or Forest Hills, but you may have to walk to a bus to take to the subway stop to travel an hour into the city on a train that only runs every 30 minutes and it’s going to feel like a suburb. It’s like, I dunno, moving to Baltimore and saying that you live in DC.

This is an interesting take. I'm a lifelong New Yorker. I've lived in each borough except The Bronx. Each neighborhood has itsown unique character and they all feel like NYC to me. I would venture that if OP wants a genuine NYC experience, they should definitely live in ine of the outer boroughs - they can find something 45 minutes or less by subway in all of the boroughs. Many office jobs now are either hybrid or WFH, so that takes some of the commuting pressure off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so people are going to say that you need $300k+ HHI to raise a family in NYC and that you need to send your kids to private. Neither are true. If you really want to live in NYC it’s completely possible to live in a 2BR rental & send your kids to the local public

Do you live in there on under a 300k HHI? Please share your expenses then.

Not PP but the median HHI there is only $127k.

A lot of people here are young and just starting out, bunking with four roommates and taking advantage of free lunches at work. A lot of people (including almost everyone I know) move to the suburbs once they have kids. It’s just so expensive to raise children here, and honestly gets tiring after a while. I’m a big law partner and even at that income a majority of people move to the suburbs.

I lived there with my parents in the early 2000s and their HHI was 5 figures. It was not difficult to make ends meet and we did not feel poor. I am also in biglaw and not surprised you cannot fully understand the lives of the poorer people who serve you.

Have you moved back since? Things have changed a lot since the early 2000s. Neighborhoods where you used to be able to find a deal have been gentrified and built up with luxury condos. The mom and pop shops have closed down, with high end stores replacing them. The whole country has gotten more expensive, but NYC has done so on steroids.

A lot of people are mentioning to the other boroughs, but you have to keep in mind that once you get far put into the boroughs, it’s not going to really feel like “the city” anymore, so it depends on what you’re looking for. OP seems to want a reasonable commute into the city and to feel like she’s living in NYC, which is why everyone is focusing on the more expensive parts of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Sure, you can live much more cheaply in Kensington or Forest Hills, but you may have to walk to a bus to take to the subway stop to travel an hour into the city on a train that only runs every 30 minutes and it’s going to feel like a suburb. It’s like, I dunno, moving to Baltimore and saying that you live in DC.

This is an interesting take. I'm a lifelong New Yorker. I've lived in each borough except The Bronx. Each neighborhood has itsown unique character and they all feel like NYC to me. I would venture that if OP wants a genuine NYC experience, they should definitely live in ine of the outer boroughs - they can find something 45 minutes or less by subway in all of the boroughs. Many office jobs now are either hybrid or WFH, so that takes some of the commuting pressure off.

The great thing about NYC is that there are many “real New York” subcultures. There are the Brooklyn hipsters, the Bronx Dominicans, the queer scene in Chelsea and the villages, the Russian immigrants in Brighton Beach, the high society UES, the fashion scene, etc. Based mostly on stereotyping DCUM, I’m assuming OP is looking for the “upper middle class professional family looking for great walkable restaurants and activities, a short commute to a midtown or FiDi office, and beautiful luxury apartments with amenities” scene, which would probably be in the UWS, UES, parts of Brooklyn, and Tribeca/West Village. That isn’t any less “real New York” than Kew Gardens, it’s just different. The PP who used to live in NYC seems to have a huge chip on her shoulder about what qualifies as “real New York” but I don’t agree. I think there are many different experiences of NYC, and they’re all valid.

[Anonymous]

I worked on Wall Street for 30 years. 99 percent of people with kids did not live in NYC.

A lot in my company lived in Jersey, Staten Island, or Long Island.

I lived on Long Island in South Shore close in. Lynbrook, Rockville Centre, Oceanside. DC is way more expensive.

[Anonymous]

Wait also parking garage cost for a car can run $600/month in Manhattan. You really need to calculate the tax situation to see if this would be worth it. Without an additional 150k bump at least, I really don’t think it would be.

[Anonymous]

Op I would not. We live in Manhattan and have $1m hhi and can barely make it work. $6-9k rental is v hard to find right now. Your oldest has to test into middle school (is not about zone). $300 you obv cannot do private. You could maybe do brooklyn but v few good publics or charters there. There is basis but again that’s $40k per kid in nyc. It’s nuts here atm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is helpful. Income-wise, we are DCUM middle class, and my pay would give us a bump, but I suspect that private school/Gossip Girl life is not at all for us. We aren't "granola" but I would have to sell my Subaru

Share all the things. I was hoping for city living, but mostly to cut down on the commute. A lot of folks at my husband's firm live in Westchester, etc, and that seems like it might be a heavy lift.

I'm finding that 3-bedrooms seem a bit harder to find. Wondering if a two-bedroom could work near a park?

PP you don't think Queens would be a good option? Even like, Long Island City (is that too cool/young) or Astoria? Where in Brooklyn should I look? Is it Park Slope or other neighborhoods too? Are there specific PS numbers we should check out?

The nanny thing is something to think about. Is it normal to find someone for afternoons only? College students?

The simple solution: Rent some place like here -- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/70-Greene-St-1-2407-Jersey-City-NJ-07302/2057168037_zpid/ or https://www.redfin.com/NJ/Jersey-City/115-Morris-St-07302/apartment/167653681 and send your kids to P.S. 16, which is lovely or here, which is about $12,000 per year per kid: https://www.olcschool.org/

[Anonymous]

I would look into Forest Hills in Queens. The zip is 11375. It's quieter and you can probably rent a house with your budget. The schools are good also and you wouldn't have to sell your car.