DD Brings Cat Home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm biased but I think pets are very good for mental health and teens can use all the mental health they can get. If she has already bonded with this cat it is going to be pretty hard to break them apart.

I'm a dog person who has had a cat (who was well loved), and will never have any cats again. Cat hair is different from dog hair, and gets *everywhere*. Cats are different from dogs, and can get *everywhere*, including kitchen counter tops. That is not sanitary. My cat was quite dog-like and trainable, but most cats are not, so it can be difficult to get them to change bad habits, such as using furniture as scratching posts. Poop inside the house is gross. I don't care if it's in the litterbox, but it's still poop in the house that isn't immediately getting flushed down. Cat urine smells absolutely vile.

In mom's shoes, I would want to know what DD is going to do for vet care, which can be expensive. Mine was diabetic, and a vial of insulin was $100+, on top of repeated vet visits to figure out correct dosage. He eventually succumbed to stomach cancer, which was messy (poor guy often couldn't make it to his litterbox as he had liquid diarrhea, and would vomit as well) and heartbreaking.

These are really dumb objection to cats. Cats are very clean. The litterbox is perfectly sanitary and not smelly if you scoop it every day like you should. They will use a scratching post if you provide one and it's very easy to encourage them to use it. In contrast, dogs will crap and piss all over the place, they have a strong odor, and they will misbehave and chew things up when they get bored.

Vet care for cats is not expensive. Once you get them neutered there's basically nothing but occasional vaccine updates until they get old. And I don't know a single dog owner whose dog hasn't had crazy expensive medical problems.

[Anonymous]

We have spent thousands on cat care. Additionally, cats claw up furniture and puke on upholstery and rugs. On one of our couches, the stomach acid interacted with the dye, and the cushions are ruined. One of our cats has a sensitive stomach and sometimes gets loose stools. Has gotten poop on bed comforter, rug, sweatshirt on floor, etc.

Cats are not necessarily low maintenance. Your daughter sounds like she could use some therapy. You too. You are the parent and should not have kicked yourself out if the bedroom. This is misplaced guilt - don’t let that prevent you from guiding towards adulthood and the responsibilities that come with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Thank you all for some very good insights. I am not proud of my decision but as my DD refused to return unless she had her cat with her, I capitulated and am trying to figure out a way to accommodate both. I didn't want to lose my DD. When she leaves, the cat goes with her or to another home.

This is not a bad thing, OP. There are far worse things teenagers can do and falling in love with a cat is not so terrible. I would try to roll with it as best you can. As I said before, pets are great for mental health. The cat can also give you a bonding opportunity with your daughter, and an opportunity for her to learn to take responsibility for another being. If you have already decided you will hate this cat, this will only put strain on your relationship. If you learn to love this cat too, you will have a new way you can bond with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm biased but I think pets are very good for mental health and teens can use all the mental health they can get. If she has already bonded with this cat it is going to be pretty hard to break them apart.

I'm a dog person who has had a cat (who was well loved), and will never have any cats again. Cat hair is different from dog hair, and gets *everywhere*. Cats are different from dogs, and can get *everywhere*, including kitchen counter tops. That is not sanitary. My cat was quite dog-like and trainable, but most cats are not, so it can be difficult to get them to change bad habits, such as using furniture as scratching posts. Poop inside the house is gross. I don't care if it's in the litterbox, but it's still poop in the house that isn't immediately getting flushed down. Cat urine smells absolutely vile.

In mom's shoes, I would want to know what DD is going to do for vet care, which can be expensive. Mine was diabetic, and a vial of insulin was $100+, on top of repeated vet visits to figure out correct dosage. He eventually succumbed to stomach cancer, which was messy (poor guy often couldn't make it to his litterbox as he had liquid diarrhea, and would vomit as well) and heartbreaking.

These are really dumb objection to cats. Cats are very clean. The litterbox is perfectly sanitary and not smelly if you scoop it every day like you should. They will use a scratching post if you provide one and it's very easy to encourage them to use it. In contrast, dogs will crap and piss all over the place, they have a strong odor, and they will misbehave and chew things up when they get bored.

Vet care for cats is not expensive. Once you get them neutered there's basically nothing but occasional vaccine updates until they get old. And I don't know a single dog owner whose dog hasn't had crazy expensive medical problems.

I'm no Martha Stewart, but we each have different tolerance levels. For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise. My cat never destroyed furniture, but I know plenty of cats that have, despite having scratching posts, and many attempts to train them to use it. I have had dogs for over 20 years, and have fostered dozens; none would do their business inside the house, except for when they were sick. Even then, most of mine would attempt to make it to the door. Well kept dogs tend to not have any odors either, and obviously, they need training and exercise (especially when young) to not make up their own entertainment. As I said, my cat had diabetes, and later, cancer. He was 12 or 13 when he died. That's not an old cat, but yes, cats can and do get sick, and vet care can be expensive.

I would never argue that dogs are not higher maintenance than cats, they are. That is not to say that there are not downsides to cat ownership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Thank you all for some very good insights. I am not proud of my decision but as my DD refused to return unless she had her cat with her, I capitulated and am trying to figure out a way to accommodate both. I didn't want to lose my DD. When she leaves, the cat goes with her or to another home.

This is not a bad thing, OP. There are far worse things teenagers can do and falling in love with a cat is not so terrible. I would try to roll with it as best you can. As I said before, pets are great for mental health. The cat can also give you a bonding opportunity with your daughter, and an opportunity for her to learn to take responsibility for another being. If you have already decided you will hate this cat, this will only put strain on your relationship. If you learn to love this cat too, you will have a new way you can bond with your daughter.

OP. Thank you for the support. I need it!

[Anonymous]

For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise.

You... clean your counters and the table before you prepare a meal, right? And you use cutting boards that the cat hasn't stepped on if you need to cut up food?

Plus there is this thing called "a door" that you can keep closed if you want to keep the cat out of the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise.

You... clean your counters and the table before you prepare a meal, right? And you use cutting boards that the cat hasn't stepped on if you need to cut up food?

Plus there is this thing called "a door" that you can keep closed if you want to keep the cat out of the kitchen.

No, I don’t clean the counters before I cook, I do it after. Pretty sure most normal people do that. I wash produce and put them on towels to dry. The towels are sitting directly on the counter. Washed dishes might sit and drain on the counter before they’re used or put away. Small appliances sit on the counter. Bread dough proofs on the counter…. Just take a look at all the stuff that’s on the average kitchen counter. You’re saying each of those are cleaned every time before use?

And open floor plans don’t have doors to kitchens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise.

You... clean your counters and the table before you prepare a meal, right? And you use cutting boards that the cat hasn't stepped on if you need to cut up food?

Plus there is this thing called "a door" that you can keep closed if you want to keep the cat out of the kitchen.

No, I don’t clean the counters before I cook, I do it after. Pretty sure most normal people do that. I wash produce and put them on towels to dry. The towels are sitting directly on the counter. Washed dishes might sit and drain on the counter before they’re used or put away. Small appliances sit on the counter. Bread dough proofs on the counter…. Just take a look at all the stuff that’s on the average kitchen counter. You’re saying each of those are cleaned every time before use?

And open floor plans don’t have doors to kitchens.

I’ve had 4 cats in my lifetime and trained every one of them not to jump on counters or the kitchen table. It was easy I just shooed them off immediately by clapping loudly when they got on a surface they weren’t supposed to be on and they got the message quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm biased but I think pets are very good for mental health and teens can use all the mental health they can get. If she has already bonded with this cat it is going to be pretty hard to break them apart.

I'm a dog person who has had a cat (who was well loved), and will never have any cats again. Cat hair is different from dog hair, and gets *everywhere*. Cats are different from dogs, and can get *everywhere*, including kitchen counter tops. That is not sanitary. My cat was quite dog-like and trainable, but most cats are not, so it can be difficult to get them to change bad habits, such as using furniture as scratching posts. Poop inside the house is gross. I don't care if it's in the litterbox, but it's still poop in the house that isn't immediately getting flushed down. Cat urine smells absolutely vile.

In mom's shoes, I would want to know what DD is going to do for vet care, which can be expensive. Mine was diabetic, and a vial of insulin was $100+, on top of repeated vet visits to figure out correct dosage. He eventually succumbed to stomach cancer, which was messy (poor guy often couldn't make it to his litterbox as he had liquid diarrhea, and would vomit as well) and heartbreaking.

These are really dumb objection to cats. Cats are very clean. The litterbox is perfectly sanitary and not smelly if you scoop it every day like you should. They will use a scratching post if you provide one and it's very easy to encourage them to use it. In contrast, dogs will crap and piss all over the place, they have a strong odor, and they will misbehave and chew things up when they get bored.

Vet care for cats is not expensive. Once you get them neutered there's basically nothing but occasional vaccine updates until they get old. And I don't know a single dog owner whose dog hasn't had crazy expensive medical problems.

I'm no Martha Stewart, but we each have different tolerance levels. For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise. My cat never destroyed furniture, but I know plenty of cats that have, despite having scratching posts, and many attempts to train them to use it. I have had dogs for over 20 years, and have fostered dozens; none would do their business inside the house, except for when they were sick. Even then, most of mine would attempt to make it to the door. Well kept dogs tend to not have any odors either, and obviously, they need training and exercise (especially when young) to not make up their own entertainment. As I said, my cat had diabetes, and later, cancer. He was 12 or 13 when he died. That's not an old cat, but yes, cats can and do get sick, and vet care can be expensive.

I would never argue that dogs are not higher maintenance than cats, they are. That is not to say that there are not downsides to cat ownership.

I mean, that's YOUR experience and it is a fairly limited one. I've had dogs all of my 50 years and fostered many, many dogs. And to say cats are higher maintenance actually made me laugh out loud.

Dogs can smell (LBH, most people are not washing their dogs 2/mos.), drool, steal food. They need to be walked or played with. They can be destructive. They bard, some a lot. You have to pick up their poop. They kill wildlife in the yard that you then need to bury or dispose of. And it's far more expensive to do maintenance vet care (vax, yearly visits, heartworm) and to board/find a house sitter for a dog. Then there is the costs of training, which most people scrimp on but we view as necessary for 99.9% of dogs.

Cats have their issues, or potential issues, and people have different tolerances. As you note. But, categorically, cats are way less effort.

And vet care cannot be compared. I have had cats who lived 20 years with ZERO medical issues until end of life. I have a cat now that we've spent, cumulatively, probably $5k (likely more) on to diagnose and treat an auto immune. I've also had dogs with zero health issues until end of life. But, I have at least two with life long issues (one auto immune, one seizure disorder) that we spent many, many thousands of dollars on over their lives. So GMAFB with the "cats cost more at the vet."LOL

OP, I think this was the right call. It's a short term inconvenience. Your DD could be doing worse things and is obv attached to the cat. And saying "no" just b/c you can is rarely a successful outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

For me, a cat that poops/pees in the litter box, covers it up with his feet, then walks around on my kitchen counters with those same feet, is not sanitary, and you will never convince me otherwise.

You... clean your counters and the table before you prepare a meal, right? And you use cutting boards that the cat hasn't stepped on if you need to cut up food?

Plus there is this thing called "a door" that you can keep closed if you want to keep the cat out of the kitchen.

No, I don’t clean the counters before I cook, I do it after. Pretty sure most normal people do that. I wash produce and put them on towels to dry. The towels are sitting directly on the counter. Washed dishes might sit and drain on the counter before they’re used or put away. Small appliances sit on the counter. Bread dough proofs on the counter…. Just take a look at all the stuff that’s on the average kitchen counter. You’re saying each of those are cleaned every time before use?

And open floor plans don’t have doors to kitchens.

LOL. OF COURSE you wash counters before you cook, cats or not. What a $%% weird a$$ justification and slur to hurl. "If you wash counters before you cook, you're not normal."

I've heard it all now.