Graduation announcements - rant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad. I so want to send out a card celebrating my kid with an update on where she is going to everyone on my holiday card list. We do not want gifts at all - honestly hadn’t thought of that at all. But it sounds like people may look at it as a gift grab? I don’t like using social media to share about my kid so there are people who she knows that would be glad to know where she ended up.

Do it.

OP is an a$$hole and a whiner. Most people like to get updates like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im not sending them bc I know some people interpret them that way but it’s a milestone and it’s an understandable instinct to want to share. I wouldn’t assume it’s a craven gift grab-I never would have thought that unless I’d heard people gripe about it before so maybe the people who sent them are just happy and want to show their grad off.

I sent out announcements for my covid graduate. I wanted to celebrate him and I had no idea how upset people get from simply receiving mail until people like OP ranting here about them. We got no gifts from them. Why does mail piss people off so badly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I had no idea people announced high school graduations like this. Whatever do they do for college and PhD/MD/JD diplomas?

I fully expect my kid will get a PhD someday. That’s just how she’s wired.

But I still want to shout from the rooftops about her accomplishments. She has worked so hard and done so well. Why isn’t it ok to brag and cheer her on?

And I want to celebrate all her friends and cousins too. It’s a rite of passage and I think society in general should make a fuss of the kids. And it doesn’t matter even a little bit to me what the kid’s next step is. That is for them to figure out. But I sure want to be the proud aunt/community member whatever they choose to do.

You can’t celebrate your kid and be proud without a paper announcement telling everyone who already knows that she’s graduating and going to college - that she’s graduating and going to college?

Is it that hard to understand that people have different ways of doing things? And yours is, a) not only not correct just b/c it is your opinion, but b) in the minority.
And, yes, it is typical to send a little something to the graduate. If you don't want to, then don't.

It is NOT typical to send these cards.

And when the person said she wants to send them because she wants to celebrate her kid and is proud…is when I said you can be proud without an announcement.

No matter what, it is a gift grab. It just is seen that way. Do it or don’t do it, but it doesn’t change that it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I had no idea people announced high school graduations like this. Whatever do they do for college and PhD/MD/JD diplomas?

I fully expect my kid will get a PhD someday. That’s just how she’s wired.

But I still want to shout from the rooftops about her accomplishments. She has worked so hard and done so well. Why isn’t it ok to brag and cheer her on?

And I want to celebrate all her friends and cousins too. It’s a rite of passage and I think society in general should make a fuss of the kids. And it doesn’t matter even a little bit to me what the kid’s next step is. That is for them to figure out. But I sure want to be the proud aunt/community member whatever they choose to do.

You can’t celebrate your kid and be proud without a paper announcement telling everyone who already knows that she’s graduating and going to college - that she’s graduating and going to college?

Is it that hard to understand that people have different ways of doing things? And yours is, a) not only not correct just b/c it is your opinion, but b) in the minority.
And, yes, it is typical to send a little something to the graduate. If you don't want to, then don't.

It is NOT typical to send these cards.

And when the person said she wants to send them because she wants to celebrate her kid and is proud…is when I said you can be proud without an announcement.

No matter what, it is a gift grab. It just is seen that way. Do it or don’t do it, but it doesn’t change that it is.

False - It was very typical to send graduation announcements. When specifically did this become not a thing because a majority of people missed the mail about it.

[Anonymous]

Save it for the end of year annual card.

[Anonymous]

Hate to break it to you but people HATE the yearly letter and never read them. Stop sending them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I had no idea people announced high school graduations like this. Whatever do they do for college and PhD/MD/JD diplomas?

I fully expect my kid will get a PhD someday. That’s just how she’s wired.

But I still want to shout from the rooftops about her accomplishments. She has worked so hard and done so well. Why isn’t it ok to brag and cheer her on?

And I want to celebrate all her friends and cousins too. It’s a rite of passage and I think society in general should make a fuss of the kids. And it doesn’t matter even a little bit to me what the kid’s next step is. That is for them to figure out. But I sure want to be the proud aunt/community member whatever they choose to do.

You can’t celebrate your kid and be proud without a paper announcement telling everyone who already knows that she’s graduating and going to college - that she’s graduating and going to college?

Is it that hard to understand that people have different ways of doing things? And yours is, a) not only not correct just b/c it is your opinion, but b) in the minority.
And, yes, it is typical to send a little something to the graduate. If you don't want to, then don't.

It is NOT typical to send these cards.

And when the person said she wants to send them because she wants to celebrate her kid and is proud…is when I said you can be proud without an announcement.

No matter what, it is a gift grab. It just is seen that way. Do it or don’t do it, but it doesn’t change that it is.

Maybe in your circle. In mine, NOVA HS friends and local family as well as family in another state, it is not only typical but expected. And yes, a small gift is expected and we are happy to do it (as are other people). If you want to be a cheapskate whiner, feel free. But you are absolutely LYING saying they are not typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I had no idea people announced high school graduations like this. Whatever do they do for college and PhD/MD/JD diplomas?

I fully expect my kid will get a PhD someday. That’s just how she’s wired.

But I still want to shout from the rooftops about her accomplishments. She has worked so hard and done so well. Why isn’t it ok to brag and cheer her on?

And I want to celebrate all her friends and cousins too. It’s a rite of passage and I think society in general should make a fuss of the kids. And it doesn’t matter even a little bit to me what the kid’s next step is. That is for them to figure out. But I sure want to be the proud aunt/community member whatever they choose to do.

You can’t celebrate your kid and be proud without a paper announcement telling everyone who already knows that she’s graduating and going to college - that she’s graduating and going to college?

Is it that hard to understand that people have different ways of doing things? And yours is, a) not only not correct just b/c it is your opinion, but b) in the minority.
And, yes, it is typical to send a little something to the graduate. If you don't want to, then don't.

It is NOT typical to send these cards.

And when the person said she wants to send them because she wants to celebrate her kid and is proud…is when I said you can be proud without an announcement.

No matter what, it is a gift grab. It just is seen that way. Do it or don’t do it, but it doesn’t change that it is.

Maybe in your circle. In mine, NOVA HS friends and local family as well as family in another state, it is not only typical but expected. And yes, a small gift is expected and we are happy to do it (as are other people). If you want to be a cheapskate whiner, feel free. But you are absolutely LYING saying they are not typical.

I’m near McLean. I guarantee you that grad announcements are not expected. I have never received one when I did not already know the child was graduating and for most, I knew where the child was going. If I didn’t, it was because I am not that close with the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I said, I'm just ranting, but I hate graduation announcements. So far this year we've received one from an extended family member whose kid I haven't seen she was 3ish and one from a former collegue of DH whose family we haven't seen in at least 15 years and were never close with. And both announcements were framed as invites to a party, multiple states away from where we live. I have a kid graduating this year and we're not sending them. They feel like such tacky money grabs.

The extended family one was one thing, at least we're related, but the old co-worker's kid....? We don't even exchange holiday cards with them.

Are you serious? This bothers you? You don't have to do anything but if it was a relative of mine, I'd send the kid a gift card. Cheezus people want to be offended so bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hate to break it to you but people HATE the yearly letter and never read them. Stop sending them.

Disagree. We love them in my family! Every night in December we sit on the couch under blankets with mugs of tea or cocoa and open the Advent calendar with the story and read that, then open the Advent calendar with chocolate and eat that (or opposite order), and then if any cards came in the mail, we read those. My kids definitely "know" their West Coast and overseas cousins who include those letters better than those that don't send them. It gives them something to talk about on phone calls, too.

Love the letters and wish more people did them.

Graduation announcements are fine by me. If I was planning to give a gift, it's a nice reminder. I almost always try to send a card to graduates I know. If it was for someone I barely knew, like a non-close former colleague, I would smile and say "that's cool" and maybe email or text their parent a brief note of congrats but probably wouldn't send a card because it wouldn't mean much to the kid.

[Anonymous]

For my kids, the announcements were offered from my kid’s high school (for a cost, of course). I think parents purchase these cards because they think everyone does and months later, when they arrive, they think, “I’ll send them to Aunt Karen, etc.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hate to break it to you but people HATE the yearly letter and never read them. Stop sending them.

Disagree. We love them in my family! Every night in December we sit on the couch under blankets with mugs of tea or cocoa and open the Advent calendar with the story and read that, then open the Advent calendar with chocolate and eat that (or opposite order), and then if any cards came in the mail, we read those. My kids definitely "know" their West Coast and overseas cousins who include those letters better than those that don't send them. It gives them something to talk about on phone calls, too.

Love the letters and wish more people did them.

Graduation announcements are fine by me. If I was planning to give a gift, it's a nice reminder. I almost always try to send a card to graduates I know. If it was for someone I barely knew, like a non-close former colleague, I would smile and say "that's cool" and maybe email or text their parent a brief note of congrats but probably wouldn't send a card because it wouldn't mean much to the kid.

Same. I love all the things.

We received a HS graduation announcement for the daughter of an old friend. We see that friend maybe once a year and don't know the daughter well. Still, it's their only child and this is a major milestone for both my friend and the daughter. I'm definitely sending a check but don't feel remotely obliged to do so. I want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I had no idea people announced high school graduations like this. Whatever do they do for college and PhD/MD/JD diplomas?

I fully expect my kid will get a PhD someday. That’s just how she’s wired.

But I still want to shout from the rooftops about her accomplishments. She has worked so hard and done so well. Why isn’t it ok to brag and cheer her on?

And I want to celebrate all her friends and cousins too. It’s a rite of passage and I think society in general should make a fuss of the kids. And it doesn’t matter even a little bit to me what the kid’s next step is. That is for them to figure out. But I sure want to be the proud aunt/community member whatever they choose to do.

You can’t celebrate your kid and be proud without a paper announcement telling everyone who already knows that she’s graduating and going to college - that she’s graduating and going to college?

Is it that hard to understand that people have different ways of doing things? And yours is, a) not only not correct just b/c it is your opinion, but b) in the minority.
And, yes, it is typical to send a little something to the graduate. If you don't want to, then don't.

It is NOT typical to send these cards.

And when the person said she wants to send them because she wants to celebrate her kid and is proud…is when I said you can be proud without an announcement.

No matter what, it is a gift grab. It just is seen that way. Do it or don’t do it, but it doesn’t change that it is.

Maybe in your circle. In mine, NOVA HS friends and local family as well as family in another state, it is not only typical but expected. And yes, a small gift is expected and we are happy to do it (as are other people). If you want to be a cheapskate whiner, feel free. But you are absolutely LYING saying they are not typical.

I’m near McLean. I guarantee you that grad announcements are not expected. I have never received one when I did not already know the child was graduating and for most, I knew where the child was going. If I didn’t, it was because I am not that close with the family.

+1 I'm in McLean. We've known dozens of kids all over the east coast to graduate from high school and college but have only received a handful of announcements (mostly family) through the years. Calling it a lie to say it's not typical is a bold choice of words. You must have been around long enough to know that your world view and experience is not unilateral, no?

[Anonymous]

I love to get them! It’s just a fun snapshot into the lives of people in my extended circle and it makes me happy. Sometimes I send a gift and sometimes I text the sender to say “congrats loved larla’s senior pic!” or sometimes if things are hectic I might just smile and feel happy they thought to update me.

This is a you problem, op! (And for the record I’m not sending them but bc I’m busy but if I did it certainly wouldn’t be because I wanted gifts from my grad school buddies and second cousins.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are such grinches.

No, it's tacky to treat a celebratory event like a gift grab.

I've received graduation announcements with party invites from:
-our old neighbor who moved to MD about 10 years ago. Other than HBD messages on Facebook and 'likes' on Instagram posts, we don't chat/text/exchange cards with each other.
-my cousin's daughter that I haven't seen since she was 6 or 7
-an old coworker that I haven't spoken to since 2018 & I'm not sure how she got my address

Sending a graduation announcement is fine, but don't also make it party invite when you aren't close to the person or keep in regular touch.