Elderly parents make phone calls unbearable

[Anonymous]

This was the first sign we had of dementia.

[Anonymous]

Hearing loss. Insist they should get hearing aids.

You can check whether it's a phone issue by looking at their volume button next time you visit, and trying Facetime. I can't phone my kid at his college, it keeps cutting out, but Facetime works great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you teach them to Facetime? That might be easier since then they can SEE you talking.

I get the impression these iPhone haters don’t themselves have iPhones lol

Believe it or not...Android also has video calling. It just has a different name!

[Anonymous]

We actually had problems with landline calls. My mom’s phone company is no longer maintaining the copper lines, so the quality of her phone calls went from occasionally dodgy to constantly awful. On top of her increasing rudeness and hearing issues, the sketchy landline connection was the last straw.

Now we talk on iPhones and she blames my cell connection for her hearing issues and inability to tolerate a 2-way conversation.

[Anonymous]

If FaceTime doesn't work, look up captioned phones for the hearing impaired.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure they didn’t accidentally turn down the volume on their phone? That is totally the kind of thing my parents would do, in advertently pressed some button that lowered the volume on their phone speaker.Do they talk to a lot of people or mostly just you on the phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom has Bluetooth hearing aids that allow her iPhone sound to go directly to her ears - it’s wonderful.

Same for my mom. She always complained that there was something wrong with her phone, my phone, connectivity, etc. Once she got the hearing aids, totally resolved.

[Anonymous]

Haha, sounds like my SIL's mom. These days, she just let her mom talk while doing house work. If she has something to tell her mom, she sends text.

[Anonymous]

hearing aids, asap

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to get a word in? Are they asking you to solve the "problem" that they can't hear you, or are they happy to talk at you for however long they want to talk without your participation? With my parent, it was definitely the latter. Some elderly parents are not interested in their children's lives but just want to use them as a conversational outlet because their lives are otherwise lonely. So if that's the case for you, put them on speaker and do the dishes or laundry, and shout loudly when you don't want to listen anymore and say you need to hang up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This only happens with them, and I use my phone all day long.

Whenever I call, they can’t hear me. I don’t know if it’s the delay they don’t account for, or their phones (they blame MY phone, but like I said this only happens with them) but my mom never hears me talking, she talks right over me. Then she will say she just can’t hear me, it must my phone. I have to basically SHOUT at her to get her to let me get a word in.

They don’t accept that it could be their end/phone/hearing and blame it solely on me and my “expensive, fancy iPhone” that “isn’t worth its weight in gold” Anyone else encounter this with their parents?

I had to make sure I didn’t write this and it was resurfacing!

[Anonymous]

It's so hard to deal with. My mom has a hearing aid and admits to hearing loss yet still blames everyone and everything when she can't hear. It's just so difficult. FaceTime is way worse, too complicated.
She even told me that if she can't hear what someone says, she'll change the subject, and if they try to correct her, she'll correct THEM. And she does this to me!

How often do you see your parents? I see mine regularly so I just try to text instead of call as much as possible. If you live far from your parents I can see how they'd prefer to talk to you instead of text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to get a word in? Are they asking you to solve the "problem" that they can't hear you, or are they happy to talk at you for however long they want to talk without your participation? With my parent, it was definitely the latter. Some elderly parents are not interested in their children's lives but just want to use them as a conversational outlet because their lives are otherwise lonely. So if that's the case for you, put them on speaker and do the dishes or laundry, and shout loudly when you don't want to listen anymore and say you need to hang up.

+1

Yup just had one of those conversations with my mom. They’re becoming more common as she ages. I try to limit them to 15-20 minutes now unless there is something important.

[Anonymous]

I got my mom Bose headphones and paired them with her phone. She puts them on for phone calls now and it has made a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I suggested that I text my portion of the conversation and just listen during the phone calls. That didn’t work either, so now we barely communicate in case I am visiting, in which case I am expected to sit, listen for the entirety of the visit, and only nod.

They use their age as an excuse and then when I suggest a remedy like providing a reference for a good audiologist that I have used repeatedly, they accuse me of ageism, so I back off and myob.