stop sending me stuff!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

Since you do not have adult skills, let me explain what you do. When the gift arrives, you place it in your trash can. You're welcome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Remember when you parents said doing something was good for your character? This is your chance to do that. Donate what is sent and continue to donate. This is not hard.

It is actually hard when they give stuff all the time and it clutters your entire home. They give faster than you can get rid of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Remember when you parents said doing something was good for your character? This is your chance to do that. Donate what is sent and continue to donate. This is not hard.

It is actually hard when they give stuff all the time and it clutters your entire home. They give faster than you can get rid of it.

I keep a box in the basement. When it’s full, I donate.

[Anonymous]

It's a waste of resources and you have a right to say "No gifts please." I had the same thing with a manipulative relative. She would ask annoying favors and give gifts to try to guilt you into doing stuff. She also was incredibly selfish in general and not a nice person.

Contrary to what some out-dated folks on DCUM think, you have a right to say "no." It's a boundary. Junk dumps are not OK if the person doesn't want more stuff. It's bad for the environment. It's a waste of fuel and packaging.

Politely and assertively ask Larla to stop sending you stuff. Do not write a thank you note, because she is creating more work. You will spend time and fuel donating. Just say "no thank you." If she continues, ask again.

WQe used to force kids to kiss aunt Glenda because it was polite. Now we know their bodies, their choice. Same with stuff. Not a gift if you ask the person to stop. Then it's imposing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

Since you do not have adult skills, let me explain what you do. When the gift arrives, you place it in your trash can. You're welcome

Horrible waste of landfill space.

Protect the environment and ask her to stop. Be kind, but forthright. It is not rude. What is rude is the insist on sending "gifts" when someone has explicitly asked you to refrain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put on your big girl pants and write them an email that you appreciate the thought behind the gifts but you are trying to declutter at this point in your life so request, respectfully that they take you off their shopping list.

If that does not work, then write on the unopened gifts: RETURN TO SENDER, and do not accept the delivery.

This. +1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me back up, this person makes my skin crawl and I don't want to receive anything from them.

Can you refuse delivery? If not. Just throw it out. Perhaps contact a lawyer on how best to co tact them to say not send anything. I am sorry you are going through this.

[Anonymous]

Look up "love bombing."

[Anonymous]

I have posted a few times before, but forgot to add, if the person is on your husband's side, make sure he is a united front with you and technically he should be the one to say you appreciate the thought, but do not want anything for whatever reason. If the person truly is trying to use gifts to buy love or manipulate, don't be surprised if the person tries to start family drama and becomes the victim. Just remind yourself if that is the case, the person would have likely started drama if you kept accepting the gifts, but didn't become a friend or didn't do that favor or invite him/her to Christmas or whatever.

If it's a normal, decent person who is just a little clueless, the person will respect the boundary and continue to be polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL and I aren’t close at all. Yet, she sends me ‘gifts’ every Christmas. She knows am allergic to certain nuts and have lots of food intolerance. However, she makes sure to send me nuts…I’m tired of it but she’s overly sensitive and her being the doctor in the family (also knows it all type of individual) she can’t take rejection of any form. I opted to toss everything she sends but send her a thank you note for the gift.
It’s been 10 years, she keeps sending the damn nuts.

Why don’t you regift nuts or give to charity. Why would you throw out food when poor people are starving?

You bleeding heart types are insufferable. Why don’t you go to everyone’s house and pick up the crap they don’t want? Then you can be solely responsible for saving the world!

Just to a curb alert on your neighborhood listserv or post on buy nothing. People regift stuff like that all the time!

Good idea!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are total jerks these days jesus.

I just cannot believe the level of terrible, mean behavior that some people think is okay AND encourage!

So much for kindness towards others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are total jerks these days jesus.

I just cannot believe the level of terrible, mean behavior that some people think is okay AND encourage!

So much for kindness towards others.

Kindness toward others is gift enough. If someone asks you to stop sending stuff, don't send it. Just be a decent person. That is all. No need to create work for people with donating or add to the landfill or supporting taking advantage of child labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a person in my life related by marriage who keeps sending me stuff in the mail. I don't want to be close with this person and I don't want her to send me stuff.

Does anyone else have this problem and how have you handled it. The person is related through my DH's family.

Yes, but with a neighbor. I do not respond in any manner--not even an acknowledgement that the gift was received--yet they still keep coming each holiday. I do not know how to handle this beyond complete silence as no relationship is wanted.

WOW... you are a peach.

WOW...you are rude.

You do not know the circumstances. Sometimes--actually, usually--folks have good reason for avoiding others. Without going into detail, these neighbors caused serious issues with their prior neighbors and the same issues have reappeared since they relocated. We are not the only ones avoiding them.

And you continue to reveal your sweet personality...