Any experience with a restorative circle in the classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same kids will always participate and a sizable number of kids will never, ever say anything. That sucks.

This hasn't been my experience as a 5th grade teacher in the 5ish years my school has been doing them as a regular part of the daily/weekly schedule. The first few times, most kids participate. After a few months and we've settled in, usually all participate in some form. I've had a few kids that never did, but there were also some other issues they were dealing with, and they comfortable enough to join the circle and say "pass" when it was their turn.

They can be kind of hokey, but I really like them, and it really does help build a classroom community that sticks together and looks out for each other.

Okay how about when there's a kid bullying another kid. Do you think the bully and the other kid should be forced to sit in a meeting to talk it out even if the victim does not want to be there? Because this happens ALL THE TIME.

Yes, I think that's one way to teach empathy and improve understanding. Cowering behind a bookcase definitely doesn't wrok.

Completely agree! When this is done right, the results are miraculous too. It can really help establish trust and mend relationships.

I have never seen this happen in real life. It's nice to think it does, and I can see how in the younger grades this could work, but certainly not pass 9 or 10.

I’ve seen several attempts at RJ circles at our high school. I agree: it stops being a useful tool with older kids. There is absolutely no buy-in and the students look at it as nothing more than a break from having to do work.

One kid who has bullied refused to participate in one because he didn’t want to be forced to accept the other kid’s excuses. Couldn’t blame him.

It can be quite effective with all children and even adults if done correctly.

But shouldn’t it be consensual? My child was forced to do this, hated it and didn’t want to participate (he just wanted to move seats) and they gave glib responses and bullying continued while teacher praised bullies snd made my child thank them for being so mature to apologize. My child learned bullies win and teachers are at best no help and to not say anything next time.

I’m a teacher. I was forced into one of these when I told admin that a coworker was being manipulative and bully-ish. It was such a farce. She got to make excuses for her unprofessional behavior, and I was “counseled” when I refused to accept these trite excuses instead of the respect I deserved. It was demeaning and useless. Her behavior never changed (of course).

I am now more in favor of actual consequences than I was before that silly circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same kids will always participate and a sizable number of kids will never, ever say anything. That sucks.

This hasn't been my experience as a 5th grade teacher in the 5ish years my school has been doing them as a regular part of the daily/weekly schedule. The first few times, most kids participate. After a few months and we've settled in, usually all participate in some form. I've had a few kids that never did, but there were also some other issues they were dealing with, and they comfortable enough to join the circle and say "pass" when it was their turn.

They can be kind of hokey, but I really like them, and it really does help build a classroom community that sticks together and looks out for each other.

Okay how about when there's a kid bullying another kid. Do you think the bully and the other kid should be forced to sit in a meeting to talk it out even if the victim does not want to be there? Because this happens ALL THE TIME.

Yes, I think that's one way to teach empathy and improve understanding. Cowering behind a bookcase definitely doesn't wrok.

Completely agree! When this is done right, the results are miraculous too. It can really help establish trust and mend relationships.

I have never seen this happen in real life. It's nice to think it does, and I can see how in the younger grades this could work, but certainly not pass 9 or 10.

I’ve seen several attempts at RJ circles at our high school. I agree: it stops being a useful tool with older kids. There is absolutely no buy-in and the students look at it as nothing more than a break from having to do work.

One kid who has bullied refused to participate in one because he didn’t want to be forced to accept the other kid’s excuses. Couldn’t blame him.

It can be quite effective with all children and even adults if done correctly.

But shouldn’t it be consensual? My child was forced to do this, hated it and didn’t want to participate (he just wanted to move seats) and they gave glib responses and bullying continued while teacher praised bullies snd made my child thank them for being so mature to apologize. My child learned bullies win and teachers are at best no help and to not say anything next time.

I’m a teacher. I was forced into one of these when I told admin that a coworker was being manipulative and bully-ish. It was such a farce. She got to make excuses for her unprofessional behavior, and I was “counseled” when I refused to accept these trite excuses instead of the respect I deserved. It was demeaning and useless. Her behavior never changed (of course).

I am now more in favor of actual consequences than I was before that silly circle.

Sounds like you went into this with a closed mind and never gave it a chance. The fact that you dismiss your coworker's point of view as making excuses is a strong indication that you're not trying which needs to happen in order to build understanding.

[Anonymous]

Have some faith that they know how to do your jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great when the bond between students and teacher is repaired like this. However sometimes circles are used to deflect blame and distract when one side is clearly in the wrong and the administration wants to protect them anyway.

I don't have enough info to say whether it's one or the other, OP. But I'll say that if it's just this one time that the teacher did something, I'd want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

No one speaks up in a group. If they wanted the truth they’d do 1:1s in a safe space. Not a group and not with a power imbalance.

Not to mention that 5th graders may not realize how inappropriate that video was. It is the parents who should receive an apology and explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same kids will always participate and a sizable number of kids will never, ever say anything. That sucks.

This hasn't been my experience as a 5th grade teacher in the 5ish years my school has been doing them as a regular part of the daily/weekly schedule. The first few times, most kids participate. After a few months and we've settled in, usually all participate in some form. I've had a few kids that never did, but there were also some other issues they were dealing with, and they comfortable enough to join the circle and say "pass" when it was their turn.

They can be kind of hokey, but I really like them, and it really does help build a classroom community that sticks together and looks out for each other.

Okay how about when there's a kid bullying another kid. Do you think the bully and the other kid should be forced to sit in a meeting to talk it out even if the victim does not want to be there? Because this happens ALL THE TIME.

Yes, I think that's one way to teach empathy and improve understanding. Cowering behind a bookcase definitely doesn't wrok.

Completely agree! When this is done right, the results are miraculous too. It can really help establish trust and mend relationships.

I have never seen this happen in real life. It's nice to think it does, and I can see how in the younger grades this could work, but certainly not pass 9 or 10.

I’ve seen several attempts at RJ circles at our high school. I agree: it stops being a useful tool with older kids. There is absolutely no buy-in and the students look at it as nothing more than a break from having to do work.

One kid who has bullied refused to participate in one because he didn’t want to be forced to accept the other kid’s excuses. Couldn’t blame him.

It can be quite effective with all children and even adults if done correctly.

But shouldn’t it be consensual? My child was forced to do this, hated it and didn’t want to participate (he just wanted to move seats) and they gave glib responses and bullying continued while teacher praised bullies snd made my child thank them for being so mature to apologize. My child learned bullies win and teachers are at best no help and to not say anything next time.

I’m a teacher. I was forced into one of these when I told admin that a coworker was being manipulative and bully-ish. It was such a farce. She got to make excuses for her unprofessional behavior, and I was “counseled” when I refused to accept these trite excuses instead of the respect I deserved. It was demeaning and useless. Her behavior never changed (of course).

I am now more in favor of actual consequences than I was before that silly circle.

Sounds like you went into this with a closed mind and never gave it a chance. The fact that you dismiss your coworker's point of view as making excuses is a strong indication that you're not trying which needs to happen in order to build understanding.

Wow. You couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m that teacher. I gave it a try. I then became disgusted when I realized the whole circle was for HER, a chance for the aggressor to justify her behaviors and walk away vindicated. You immediately assumed that I somehow messed up the circle. Did you think for a second that it was… just perhaps… a failed exercise?

There are plenty of parents, teachers, and students who view these circles with appropriate suspicion. No victim should have to relive what they went through in the name of “better understanding.” I will not allow one of my own children to participate in these circles now. I have yet to see any proof that they can be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

Super liberal here (and the teacher who just posted about my experiences). You are absolutely correct. Education is nothing more than a revolving door of fads. I’ve seen so many come and go over my two decades teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

I know! There's so much name calling and weak generalizations every night on Fox news that is so disturbing, and don't get me started on their thoughts on education. The book banning and suppression of free speech in places like Florida is distressing. It's as if the GOP hates democracy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

Super liberal here (and the teacher who just posted about my experiences). You are absolutely correct. Education is nothing more than a revolving door of fads. I’ve seen so many come and go over my two decades teaching.

Can you be specific and cite these fads specifically in MCPS? I mean, I don't doubt it's happened but let's put it in context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have some faith that they know how to do your jobs.

But they don’t. I had faith and my child suffered because of it. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

Super liberal here (and the teacher who just posted about my experiences). You are absolutely correct. Education is nothing more than a revolving door of fads. I’ve seen so many come and go over my two decades teaching.

Whenever someone claims to be a moderate or a liberal, it's usually clear they're the opposite, but simply trying to moderate their extreme views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

Super liberal here (and the teacher who just posted about my experiences). You are absolutely correct. Education is nothing more than a revolving door of fads. I’ve seen so many come and go over my two decades teaching.

Whenever someone claims to be a moderate or a liberal, it's usually clear they're the opposite, but simply trying to moderate their extreme views.

I recommend not dismissing people so easily. Yes, moderates and liberals can also disapprove of something like RJ. That’s not just the domain of an “arch conservative.”

The PP above dismissed my RJ experience immediately, assuming that I went into it closed-minded. There was no room in her worldview for the fact the circle simply didn’t go well and resulted in victim blaming.

Ideas like RJ will lose all relevance and support if they are so blindly followed. If schools want this to work, it can’t be like what I experienced. I didn’t post above about this, but it is relevant and will get the thread back on track: I’ve had students participate in these circles before. More often than not, the circles lead to more counseling and more trauma. Perhaps they are working well somewhere, but all I’ve seen is a failed experiment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same kids will always participate and a sizable number of kids will never, ever say anything. That sucks.

This hasn't been my experience as a 5th grade teacher in the 5ish years my school has been doing them as a regular part of the daily/weekly schedule. The first few times, most kids participate. After a few months and we've settled in, usually all participate in some form. I've had a few kids that never did, but there were also some other issues they were dealing with, and they comfortable enough to join the circle and say "pass" when it was their turn.

They can be kind of hokey, but I really like them, and it really does help build a classroom community that sticks together and looks out for each other.

Okay how about when there's a kid bullying another kid. Do you think the bully and the other kid should be forced to sit in a meeting to talk it out even if the victim does not want to be there? Because this happens ALL THE TIME.

Yes, I think that's one way to teach empathy and improve understanding. Cowering behind a bookcase definitely doesn't wrok.

So your perspective on another teachers should be accepted as truth and accurate, consequences delivered and no one hears any context?

Completely agree! When this is done right, the results are miraculous too. It can really help establish trust and mend relationships.

I have never seen this happen in real life. It's nice to think it does, and I can see how in the younger grades this could work, but certainly not pass 9 or 10.

I’ve seen several attempts at RJ circles at our high school. I agree: it stops being a useful tool with older kids. There is absolutely no buy-in and the students look at it as nothing more than a break from having to do work.

One kid who has bullied refused to participate in one because he didn’t want to be forced to accept the other kid’s excuses. Couldn’t blame him.

It can be quite effective with all children and even adults if done correctly.

But shouldn’t it be consensual? My child was forced to do this, hated it and didn’t want to participate (he just wanted to move seats) and they gave glib responses and bullying continued while teacher praised bullies snd made my child thank them for being so mature to apologize. My child learned bullies win and teachers are at best no help and to not say anything next time.

I’m a teacher. I was forced into one of these when I told admin that a coworker was being manipulative and bully-ish. It was such a farce. She got to make excuses for her unprofessional behavior, and I was “counseled” when I refused to accept these trite excuses instead of the respect I deserved. It was demeaning and useless. Her behavior never changed (of course).

I am now more in favor of actual consequences than I was before that silly circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arch-conservatives hate restorative justice or anything involving feelings. They seem to believe that children should seen and not heard and prefer corporal punishment since that's how things were done a century ago.

Name calling and ignorant generalization are extremely weak forms of argument. As an “arch” conservative, I would like to see substantial, credible data before making large scale changes in education, a field that frequently adopts and then abandons the latest fads… to the detriment of kids.

Super liberal here (and the teacher who just posted about my experiences). You are absolutely correct. Education is nothing more than a revolving door of fads. I’ve seen so many come and go over my two decades teaching.

Whenever someone claims to be a moderate or a liberal, it's usually clear they're the opposite, but simply trying to moderate their extreme views.

I recommend not dismissing people so easily. Yes, moderates and liberals can also disapprove of something like RJ. That’s not just the domain of an “arch conservative.”

The PP above dismissed my RJ experience immediately, assuming that I went into it closed-minded. There was no room in her worldview for the fact the circle simply didn’t go well and resulted in victim blaming.

Ideas like RJ will lose all relevance and support if they are so blindly followed. If schools want this to work, it can’t be like what I experienced. I didn’t post above about this, but it is relevant and will get the thread back on track: I’ve had students participate in these circles before. More often than not, the circles lead to more counseling and more trauma. Perhaps they are working well somewhere, but all I’ve seen is a failed experiment.

And I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss RJ. You may have noticed but several posters here are professional trolls that want to undermine clinically proven methods like RJ because it suits their political agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same kids will always participate and a sizable number of kids will never, ever say anything. That sucks.

I think the idea is to give all the kids the chance to express themselves by saying something. What a kid does with that is their choice. Some are ready to do so earlier. Should kids who want to practice expressing themselves not have the choice?