What does your early elementary kid do after school?

[Anonymous]

How old? Mine kindergartener gets off the bus a bit before 4. He eats a snack (grabs an apple or something, or if I’m motivated I’ll fix him a piece of toast or something) and I chat with him about his day. Then he unpacks his bag, puts his lunch stuff in the sink, changes clothes and washes hands. Then he does a mix of purely fun stuff and chores, usually 2-4 things from this list:

-feed dog
-water balcony garden
-draw (I set up a little art station in the corner for him)
-help make dinner
-go outside and play with chalk in the fenced backyard patio
-sometimes read with me

We eat dinner pretty early so he can be in bed by 7, so that helps. I agree with others that you shouldn’t feel obligated to entertain your kid. They can be bored. Sometimes I play 30mins of piano or read while dinner is in the oven, and my son figures out how to occupy himself.

[Anonymous]

My kids get home around 4:15. K and 2nd. They've figured out over the last couple of years how to entertain themselves pretty well. My husband is home but cooking dinner and I'm working until about 5:15. I do my best to not schedule calls for that hour that they're home b/c they do bother me but are generally not too bad.

When they get home I cuddle with them for a couple minutes and ask about their day, and they move on. They play in the yard, do Lego's, color, Barbie, etc. Sometimes they'll ask to do a quiet activity in my office and that's fine.

[Anonymous]

We are on the late school schedule and my kid doesn't get off the bus until 4:30/4:45. She has a snack and plays with legos, draws and enjoys some solo time before her little sister gets home from preschool. But she is an extrovert and does a lot of socializing at school and needs the downtime. Kids get about 30 min screen time right before dinner so we can cook dinner in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

Awesome! Are you spearheading a movement to make quality aftercare programs available to every elementary schooler in the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

So wait, are you saying it's not an important skill for kids to be able to entertain themselves?

I am saying it's not reasonable to expect that to happen every single work day for 2 hours of time. And it's also not reasonable for your employer to expect for you to be half engaged every single work day for 25% of your working day.

Parents who insist that this should be happening are just setting themselves up for trouble, and I feel annoyed by them and feel bad for their kids. Don't use WFH as an excuse to not provide adequate childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

Awesome! Are you spearheading a movement to make quality aftercare programs available to every elementary schooler in the country?

This movement has already happened. For sure it takes some effort to do the research, and some planning in advance to get your spots, but aftercare programs are available to every elementary schooler in the country. It's your job to find them, and to make your budget and schedule work for what your family needs. If you can't or won't find them, then you need to find a job that allows more flexible or less hours.

[Anonymous]

we have a nanny because other wise how do they get to activities and stuff while you work? My kids would go insane if we were working and they were just home with no plan? Not a reasonable solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

So wait, are you saying it's not an important skill for kids to be able to entertain themselves?

I am saying it's not reasonable to expect that to happen every single work day for 2 hours of time. And it's also not reasonable for your employer to expect for you to be half engaged every single work day for 25% of your working day.

Parents who insist that this should be happening are just setting themselves up for trouble, and I feel annoyed by them and feel bad for their kids. Don't use WFH as an excuse to not provide adequate childcare.

I agree but parents these days are cheap. And they use "poor quality aftercare" as their excuse. But really Covid taught them they could get away with it and so they continue. They have no intention of paying for aftercare, high quality or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. I tried to get my kid into our aftercare program, but there was a waitlist. So now I have to get creative. It doesn't mean I suck at my job (luckily I own the firm) or that my kid gets ignored; she just doesn't get my full attention and has to also be creative. It's just life. Didn't the sanctimommy trend die out during covid? Do your thing folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working parents need aftercare, for both their sanity, their child's happiness, and their employers commitment. Don't blame your kid for not being able to entertain themselves; that's not their job. It's your job to provide them the attention they need, which you can't do when you're working.

It's fine every now and then to have your kid watch a movie or set up new legos or a scavenger hunt around the yard to waste time. It's not fine every single day.

These posts really kill me. Just because you work from home does not mean you don't need childcare! Come on, create some normal boundaries and be responsible!

Awesome! Are you spearheading a movement to make quality aftercare programs available to every elementary schooler in the country?

This movement has already happened. For sure it takes some effort to do the research, and some planning in advance to get your spots, but aftercare programs are available to every elementary schooler in the country. It's your job to find them, and to make your budget and schedule work for what your family needs. If you can't or won't find them, then you need to find a job that allows more flexible or less hours.

Gaslighting nonsense. And I’m a teacher with family help who doesn’t need aftercare anymore. The one is my town is so understaffed that they can only provide spots to maybe half who want one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. I tried to get my kid into our aftercare program, but there was a waitlist. So now I have to get creative. It doesn't mean I suck at my job (luckily I own the firm) or that my kid gets ignored; she just doesn't get my full attention and has to also be creative. It's just life. Didn't the sanctimommy trend die out during covid? Do your thing folks!

And how beholden to intensive parenting dogma does one have to be to think working to provide for your kids and expecting them to entertain themselves is neglecting them or just cheap?

We expect working parents to parent like they don’t have a job and work like they don’t have a child. It’s impossible. And when people call it out, the shame brigade rushes into action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

This. OP if your school aftercare is so bad, then look for other aftercares in your neighborhood, or either do early pick-ups every day to split the difference between aftercare and home, or get a part time babysitter or after school nanny share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do working parents think they don't need aftercare? Its not your kid's fault for not wanting to be along and entertain himself.

I think the question should be “how can people be actually working when they are watching a young child?”
I have a job with a lot of flexibility over the summer, so my kids aren’t in camp every single week, but that means I’m working at night after they’re in bed.

They can't. The child is either on screens, or the parent is not focused on work which is not fair to the employer. I get that most parents don't care though.

My almost 6 yo Kindergartener doesn’t need to be ‘watched’ when she’s home and Dh and I are finishing work. Of course she is at home and we are aware of what she’s doing like playing with her dolls in the basement or coloring or playing in the backyard (my office overlooks the backyard) but she is mature enough to be independent at home. Your kid might not be capable of this but many kids are.

[Anonymous]

Child in K comes home and we chat while she has a snack, then she happily plays with her toys for 30-45ish minutes while we finish work. Then we might go backyard, gardening, bike ride, playground, the pool, playdate, meet with grandparents, neighborhood friends. Other days, we're at the playground or pool right after school to meet with school friends. She complains when she doesn't have time to play with her toys, so we make sure to give her that time daily and it works well for us to get stuff done either chores or work.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, your kid needs to be in after care. I am so sick of WFH parents thinking that they don't need after care. Our sons do after care and they help them with homework plus they do lots of different activities including art, music, organized sports and creative play. Our son also does travel soccer 3x a week and we do a carpool so that one parent picks up three kids and the other parents get the other kids.