Tell me about a random conversation with a stranger that changed your life in some way

[Anonymous]

I met an American middle-aged woman randomly in a restaurant in Switzerland, she was with her teenaged son. She had moved to Switzerland as a young woman and married, then divorced, a Swiss man. She latched on to me and my mother who was with me, we even met up the next day. She was lonely for the U.S. but no longer really had any connection to the country and couldn't go back without leaving her children who were totally Swiss behind. I came close years later to marrying someone in another country and would have had to settle in his country. This story really stuck with me and tipped me against that choice.

[Anonymous]

I had a encounter with a serial killer, I was so lucky to have gotten away in a fluke of luck. It made me more careful about traveling alone. I think it was divine intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a encounter with a serial killer, I was so lucky to have gotten away in a fluke of luck. It made me more careful about traveling alone. I think it was divine intervention.

Do you ever wonder why God intervened for you but not the other victims of the serial killer?

[Anonymous]

I was living in NYC in my early 20s and was having some severe pain so I took the train up to the ER. I was alone and didn’t really have anyone to call to join me at the hospital (I didn’t want to bother my friends) and I was softly crying. A random woman on the train handed me a tissue. It was so touching and made me realize I wanted to live near family, so I moved about a year later. I often think about that kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a dinner party at university and had one of those short, intense conversations that sometimes come up. Lasted less than half an hour, in the dark corner of a rented restaurant/bar.

It was a bunch of philosophers and humanities types. I was talking to an older woman professor about medical ethics. I talked about my grief over letting down my mother as she was dying -- sepsis from a UTI, breast cancer treatment, and I as I medical student didn't pick up on it fast enough.

This still haunted me. She pointed out that if my mother was septic enough to go that fast (died that night), nobody likely could have saved her, and that my mother probably wanted to spend the time with me, not as an object treated by me, anyway.

Damn. About three total sentences, and then the conversation moved on. But I let go of grief that had haunted me for years.

Wow, so short and yet so profound for you. Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a woman waiting for a train. I was with my daughter (who is adopted from another ethnicity, so it is sort of obvious). The woman gently asked if she was adopted. I said yes. She asked if she had been an orphan/lived in an orphanage before I got her. I said yes. She asked how old she was when she got adopted. I said 1. Then I asked how old she was when she got adopted. She said she was never adopted.

The silence hung in the air. I asked, "Well do you have a husband or children of your own now (she looked to be in her 30's)". She said "No."

I was not sure how to respond. The thought of going all through life with literally no family was just very hard for me to imagine.

How did this change your life?

It gave me insight into how some people have life so hard (i.e., it expanded my empathy).

And it gave me renewed appreciation from something precious that I possess, and had considered universal up to that conversation.

(Not that I have to script my response to your satisfaction.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

But did you change because of this? That's the question.

Why do people keep GRADING first the question, now the responses. This is not an assignment.

DP, but it’s not grading to ask how the conversation changed someone’s life, since that was the question. It feels like people keep leaving that part out. It sounds like people are answering the question - tell us about a random conversation you had that you remember.

And that is okay too. This is a free form forum, that people can use as they wish.

You seem to have control issues.

[Anonymous]

I was pregnant with twins and so large that people on elevators would move away from me. Random strangers always asked me, without preamble, "how many you got in there?" and when I said 2 they would say things like "better you than me" or "good luck." It was so demoralizing. Then, right before I gave birth and was so, so huge, I was sitting on a bench on a sidewalk in DC waiting for my DH to bring the car as close to me as possible so I wouldn't have to walk too far. A bike messenger stopped in front of me and said "Twins?" and when I nodded yes, he said "You are the luckiest and most blessed person on the planet today" and took off on his bike. I burst into tears and felt like I could take on anything. I wish he knew how much I needed that at that specific moment.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school, we went on a family trip. A man told my father, “Your daughter is beautiful.” No one had ever said that about me before. I lived in a place where there were many attractive people and never considered myself more than average and kind of boring. It made me realize that there were men out there that would see me as beautiful. A Bella Swan moment, lol. I ended up marrying one!

[Anonymous]

It wasn't a complete stranger--it was someone at church, but we hadn't ever spoken more than a hello/goodbye before.

Her kids were teenagers and mine were all under 8.

She said something like--remember, you want there to be more than a few years between them learning how to cross the street and them learning how to put on condoms.

It made a huge difference in how I viewed their independence and I still think about that conversation all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It wasn’t a conversation but an interaction. I was 17, a senior in high school and in Cairo, Egypt for Spring Break with my family. As we were walking out of the hotel one morning, a little girl, maybe 6 years old, wearing an often worn party dress, walked up to my little sister and very gently gestured for the can of coke my sister was drinking. Her eyes lit up as my sister handed it to her.

Cairo was my first trip to a third world country and opened my eyes to the US’s and my extreme privilege. The joy that young girl displayed to receive a half drunk can of coke changed my perspective profoundly. We all have our crosses to bear, but they aren’t really very heavy.

You little sister shouldn't drink coke in the morning.

You're right. It's so much healthier in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

How did it change your life?

It made me think through what to do if that happens again so I can be "ready" going forward. To me, the real issue was that he was too young to be alone in a mall and needed adults looking after him - either I should have reconnected him with his parents or called the police or something. In the moment I was just so shocked because I'd never been panhandled by a child under 10 before. Obviously it stuck with me since it happened over two decades ago and I still remember them.

[Anonymous]

I met a beautiful ~early-50s Swedish woman in a hiking club when I was living abroad and struggling with repeated miscarriages while trying for a baby. She was living the life I wanted to live as a mom, still had a full and vibrant existence outside of parenthood and a great relationship with her husband and teen/grown children. She was so warm and funny and when I told her about my pregnancy struggles, she told me she had a feeling it would be soon.

I was unknowingly pregnant during that encounter and that child is now 3. She is named the same as that lovely woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a encounter with a serial killer, I was so lucky to have gotten away in a fluke of luck. It made me more careful about traveling alone. I think it was divine intervention.

Unless you had a conversation with him that was life changing, you did not complete the assignment properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

How did it change your life?

It made me think through what to do if that happens again so I can be "ready" going forward. To me, the real issue was that he was too young to be alone in a mall and needed adults looking after him - either I should have reconnected him with his parents or called the police or something. In the moment I was just so shocked because I'd never been panhandled by a child under 10 before. Obviously it stuck with me since it happened over two decades ago and I still remember them.

I feel like somehow still completely missed the point. He wasn't "panhandling" you, either. Doesn't sound like it taught you any empathy.