Considering moving to Ithaca

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: For 9th and 6th grade next year, my kids will be in new DC schools. Cohort of friends splitting off because of different school acceptance. That seems to be part of DC culture. So there is already change happening and new social beginnings. So, the uprooting would be separating from some neighborhood kids.

And also moving to an entirely new part of the country, living in a small-ish town instead of a large-ish city, adapting to different climate and political leanings, etc. I mean, I get that there will be some upheaval anyway with the transitions to 9th and 6th, but don't downplay what a massive change it will be.

It may still be the best decision for your family. Just don't lie about the magnitude of it.

I would agree with this. I moved when I was 3 and again when I was 6. It was traumatizing for me to leave my home, community, and friends in the middle of kindergarten. Moving from the south I was bullied and teased for being a hick because I had a southern accent. It took me several years to break in socially and make some good friends. Your high schooler will likely find him or herself trying to break in socially to a peer group that will have largely been together since kindergarten. The weather change will come as a tremendous shock. I hope you know how to drive in snow and your kids like to ski and you’re ok with frigid, grey skies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: For 9th and 6th grade next year, my kids will be in new DC schools. Cohort of friends splitting off because of different school acceptance. That seems to be part of DC culture. So there is already change happening and new social beginnings. So, the uprooting would be separating from some neighborhood kids.

Hard decision op it's so hard to predict! Some of it is your kid's personalities. Some kids will do well and end up loving it, some it could be very hard. Generally for most kids, especially at these ages, moving is pretty tough. So you should go in with your eyes wide open to that. It doesn't mean don't do it, but don't expect even though they are about to have a lot of transitions doesn't mean that it wouldn't still potentially be very hard. And it's so hard to predict - if 9th grader finds a great new group and feels like she fits in there then maybe things go well. If the kids there have a different vibe than she's used to and she feels a little out it could take longer.

That being said, moving somewhere with a slower pace can be great for kids so I think it's worth thinking about. And no matter what I think you should be understanding and empathic over the next year if you do move to any feelings your kids have about it. Even if you perceive your life to be "better" the best thing to do is to accept all of their feelings about it. 9th and 6th is a hard year to move. Your kids will have transitions but the kids in Ithaca will likely have been going to school, many of them, since elementary. So it's just going to be a transition and those are hard. At those ages, I would personally get to a good place with spouse on pros and cons and then bring it to kids. Letting them know that mom and dad have to make the ultimate decision but that their thoughts and opinions on it are valuable to you. WOrk it through a little as a family.

Ithaca has lots of people transitioning in and out of town, including families with kids. It’s the culture of the universities, so your kids definitely won’t be the only new kids.

I would also not necessarily say the pace of life for academically invested kids is any slower than here in DC. Plenty of kids have very high achieving parents, and expect a lot. What is different from DC is you don’t have as many people striving for political power or even wealth, but there is an expectation among a certain set to be very accomplished in science, music, environmental justice, writing etc. I grew up there, and while most of my friends from that time are very accomplished and well-adjusted, a few of them did implode.

[Anonymous]

Pack up the Prius and get going - Ithaca awaits!

[Anonymous]

For everyone warning about winter: I grew up nearby and my family still lives there. They refuse to move here because the summers are terrible. It’s all what you know!

[Anonymous]

OP: The weather isn't a concern for our family. It's the emotional toll of the move. Leaving kid friends who you have known since kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

I moved going into sixth grade. I considered it a traumatic event even though I moved from one small town in Central New York, to another about 30 minutes away. I wouldn’t make a ninth grader move unless it was a true necessity.