Friend’s husband is very effusive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The flip side of effusiveness can be a "too cool for compliments" attitude.

We had dinner years ago with a new couple (couple 1) we'd recently met. They started being sarcastic about another couple they'd recently met, whom we also knew (couple 2).

Couple 1 didn't realize that couple 2 were friends we'd known for years. The focus of the sarcasm was how mutually complimentary and "sickly sweet" couple 2 was together. We iced that line of conversation immediately by giving them a polite but chilly, "Yes, they're very affectionate, which is wonderful after X years of marriage. We've known them since their kids were little and they've always been a very warm couple." They changed the subject pronto, realizing they'd stepped in it. The rest of the dinner was not exactly awkward but didn't exactly spark a new friendship either. At all.

Guess which couple is still going strong after 40 years of marriage? Couple 2, the ones that hip, cool Couple 1 found "sickly sweet." Guess which couple split?

Was it you and your spouse?

Aw, aren't you cute, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s overcompensating for something. I’d bet the family farm on it.

+100 my friends husband does this. They fell in love fast “too good to be true”, got her pregnant then his true colors came out. He cheats, leaves on golf trips all the time, etc but in public he’s always doting on her.

[Anonymous]

Listen, I’m very happy for these women with kind, supportive husbands who want to sing their praises. Great— tell you friends, tell her family, tell your her boss.

But have a little empathy for those of us who don’t have this and struggle. I do not need to hear you talk about how gorgeous and smart your wife is — my husband has never said anything like that to me, even when we were dating, and I have terrible self-esteem anyway (or maybe I wouldn’t have married someone who gives so few compliment.

Read the f***ing room. I don’t need to hear it.

[Anonymous]

Lol at all the people saying he's overcompensating or hiding something--hope that makes you feel better! Nope, some men are just like this. Sorry your husbands suck at compliments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen, I’m very happy for these women with kind, supportive husbands who want to sing their praises. Great— tell you friends, tell her family, tell your her boss.

But have a little empathy for those of us who don’t have this and struggle. I do not need to hear you talk about how gorgeous and smart your wife is — my husband has never said anything like that to me, even when we were dating, and I have terrible self-esteem anyway (or maybe I wouldn’t have married someone who gives so few compliment.

Read the f***ing room. I don’t need to hear it.

That's a you and your husband problem. Don't rain on someone else's parade to make yourself feel better. Ditch that husband of yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds gay

Hardly

[Anonymous]

They are probably in therapy and one of the complaints was that he doesn't compliment enough.
But yeah, I agree that he is hiding something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are sad

They are, aren’t they? But when I read the OP it sounded very suspicious to me. It could just be personality, but men who are abusive and/or cheating typically say things like that. And that’s what’s really sad.

[Anonymous]

One of my colleagues does this on Facebook. He writes these poetic posts about how amazing his wife is (beta friend, best mom, etc.). It just seems strange to me. DH have a great relationship but it would never occur to us to write something public like this; mainly, I highly doubt anyone is interested in reading, and also, I don't need a Facebook post to realize DH loves me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t trust men like that.

This. Not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t trust men like that.

This. Just like the people with the perfect social media lives, it’s all overcompensation and denial of reality.

So if I guy thinks his wife is beautiful, he should not say something or just keep it to himself?

I could fantasize about any woman in the world, the only one I fantasize about is my wife. She is gorgeous.

What exactly do you say to your wife, how often, and how often do you say these things in front of other people?

[Anonymous]

johnny depp was also hyperbolic
Time will tell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen, I’m very happy for these women with kind, supportive husbands who want to sing their praises. Great— tell you friends, tell her family, tell your her boss.

But have a little empathy for those of us who don’t have this and struggle. I do not need to hear you talk about how gorgeous and smart your wife is — my husband has never said anything like that to me, even when we were dating, and I have terrible self-esteem anyway (or maybe I wouldn’t have married someone who gives so few compliment.

Read the f***ing room. I don’t need to hear it.

That's a you and your husband problem. Don't rain on someone else's parade to make yourself feel better. Ditch that husband of yours.

Maybe, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s weird when men talk their wives up to other women. I felt this way the most when I was single, actually. Some of my friends’ husbands would go on and on to me about how great their wives were. At first I was like “I agree, that’s so great you feel that way too!” because of course, these were my friends. But at some point it’s like I get it, you really love your wife. Tell her. Complimenting her to me now and then is normal and fine, but sometimes it’s too much and these guys need to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are sad

They are, aren’t they? But when I read the OP it sounded very suspicious to me. It could just be personality, but men who are abusive and/or cheating typically say things like that. And that’s what’s really sad.

Do you believe ALL compliments? Have you ever seen someone over compliment? Do you think that’s impossible? do you take all compliments at face value? Im genuinely curious where you line is because I can’t believe you think every compliment is given at face value. OP knows her husband better than you and can probably tell where this is coming from (kindness, insecurity etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t trust men like that.

This. Just like the people with the perfect social media lives, it’s all overcompensation and denial of reality.

So if I guy thinks his wife is beautiful, he should not say something or just keep it to himself?

I could fantasize about any woman in the world, the only one I fantasize about is my wife. She is gorgeous.

It's all a mindset, I guess.

My perspective.. if I find someone beautiful today, I may compliment them, but not everyday for the rest of my life! After a point, it's part of your "normal". Don't you get used to the beauty and stop noticing it? There are some people that wake up every morning and thank god they are alive. Maybe that kinda person would tell a wife she's beautiful everyday.