Unless you are on every financial aid committee, you have no idea. These schools absolutely do give air to families that you clearly would not fund and I am glad that those in charge are not you. These schools would truly be awful if everyone there was either Scrooge and a few Tiny Tims. There are families all across the income spectrum that receive aid for reasons unknown to all but the committees. I worked in undergrad admissions at a SLAC and it was a very similar financial aid landscape to what I see happening at independent schools. If they like your child and feel that your child will round out whatever they are seeking in a class, they will fund your child. Is this fair? Life isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that there are families rich as Crassus and others unable to feed themselves. Everyone in the middle is pissed at Crassus’ kin and chooses to pretend they are closer to Crassus and co than they are to those at the bottom and do not want anyone to get any perceived leg up over them, when really, they will never be Crassus, no matter how much they scrimp and save. We live in America, and this is not a meritocracy, and once you can admit that to yourself, it gets better. |
Then it sounds like you either need to reduce your expenses or go public. We make $160-180K and have paid $20-30K for private. We live in a house you'd never consider and only vacation every few years. We also have plenty for activities, retirement and college fund. |
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Whenever I see these posts, all I can think is, "show me the spreadsheet..."
It's ALL hearsay and anecdotal. I don't even know my best friend's full financial situation, much less Joe Schmoe from my kid's class two years ago. There is zero transparency in any private school financial aid distribution. You have no idea how it works or who gets what unless your name is "financial aid manager of X private." ...and now YOU insert your anecdote or overheard gossip To prove me wrong... |
Ditto this. We get partial aid for 2 kids (tuition bill >100K) with a HHI north of $350K. A good friend just got aid for ONE kid with an income >400K. I know their financial situation. They have two homes (rent one) and a country club membership. The school (Big3) REALLY wanted their kid. A poster above (with SALC experience) put it correctly. You have no idea what goes on at these schools. They can give aid to anyone they want to. It's a very, very small group of administrators who know the situation. There is absolutely NO rule carved in stone that they can't use financial aid to woo kids they want. I have seen it happen many, many times. Do you really think all the sports players at Sidwell/STA/Landon are 1) paying full tuition OR 2) magically coming from households making less than $150K? LOL. If you believe either I have a bridge to sell you. |
What situation. Rich people taking advantage? |
That's just one of the dozens of scenarios.... Here is another, former head of school (or other high admin) now has grandkids At said school, that family gets an especially lenient "package" so their family can afford to send all three or four kids there. It's done ALL THE TIME. It's the frisson - unspoken but know perk for the families of well connected. |
Yes, we could also afford $20K - $30K, but over $80K would be challenging. We are not big spenders at all and we also do not live in a big, fancy house. Our house is small and simple. Staying in public will require us to move, which is also an option. |
No, we could as we saved for college early on and almost have our house paid off by making it a priority. You don’t have to move for public. You choose to. |
If it is by the parents income no grandparents it makes sense. |
Let's just agree that we all have different life experiences, obligations, priorities, circumstances, etc. and we shouldn't make assumptions about others. We also prioritize saving as much as possible and we do the best we can with what we have. We are comfortable and do not live a fancy life. We also have major medical expenses, so that doesn't help our situation. Yes, many people choose to move for better school options if they are able to do so. |
I am the former SLAC counselor. Please stop framing it in this way. You do understand that this mindset is the exact same kind of thinking that wants drug tests as a condition for getting any sort of welfare benefits (when all the data points to those programs being a waste of money bc so few of the working poor are the drug addicts you think them to be) or getting mad if you see someone getting a steak with food stamps. MYOB. In the end, it all works out. The miser middling rich families who are scrimping and saving every penny and maxing out 401ks, and investing wisely, and have fully funded 529s, while paying private tuition but aren't taking vacations and coupon clipping, you "win" in the end because you have more for retirement than the ones who got aid with an income you deem too high for aid. So they might be getting over by your measure, but their spending in every other category is much higher, so they will work longer than you will and their kids might have to take out some loans for college or grad school. Stop being concerned with how other people make it work and just do you. There is no one right way to do this and each school is able to operate how they see fit. If you have a problem with it, go to another school. Maybe find one that doesn't offer any financial aid so that you can rest easy that not a soul is getting over on you. Again, the problem here is middling rich people counting all the pennies of the other middling rich people. You will likely never be in the 1%, but you are in the top 5-10% of earners. Which means at least 90% of the people have less than you. Be content with how LUCKY you are and stop being obsessed with the other 8 people ahead of you and how they might have somehow gotten something more than you. And I say LUCKY because your success is mostly determined by factors that have little to do with how hard you think you work and how smart you think you are. Your children are sitting in some of the toniest private schools in the country, with every possible resource being poured into them, and when they are successful one day, they too will think they are so successful because of their own merit. Not because they were given the best possible start compared to 90% of the rest of Americans their age. And they will be you, complaining about someone cheating and getting aid while they work so hard for their money that you passed down to them. |
This has been our experience too that schools are more generous than DCUM makes them out to be. They don't expect you to spend every penny of your savings on tuition and do make allowances for reasonable living and other expenses. |
Seriously? Which schools? We have a gross HHI of $430K with one kid and didn’t apply for FA anywhere because we assumed admissions officers would laugh us out of the room. |
This is not true. My children receive financial aid and we’ve been told multiple times that the schools view retirement as off limits. Home equity, on the other hand, is factored into FA awards. |
I know kids who got aid with incomes of 500k. Nope was that 600k? Hold on while I go stir the pot. |