Tell me about leaving your alocholic spouse

[Anonymous]

It’s not uncommon for women to go in state of denial or become consciously dismissive of obvious red flags because they like the guy and/or want to get married.

[Anonymous]

If you or your children aren’t safe, leave.

[Anonymous]

Statistically, divorce can push alcoholics to drink more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, divorce can push alcoholics to drink more.

Mine sure did. Drank herself to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry an alcoholic to begin with, specially if my father had had the same issue and I carry the baggage to think my marriage would end like the marriage of my parents.

That being said, if you think there is no hope here and you are willing and capable to be a single mom, you sure can.

I didn't marry an alcoholic to begin with. We have been together almost 20 years and the drinking has been happening for 3 years.

He didn't become an alcoholic three years ago. He drank but maybe he drank on the sly or maybe he only had three glasses of wine but he didn't just suddenly become an alcoholic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t marry an alcoholic to begin with, specially if my father had had the same issue and I carry the baggage to think my marriage would end like the marriage of my parents.

That being said, if you think there is no hope here and you are willing and capable to be a single mom, you sure can.

I didn't marry an alcoholic to begin with. We have been together almost 20 years and the drinking has been happening for 3 years.

He didn't become an alcoholic three years ago. He drank but maybe he drank on the sly or maybe he only had three glasses of wine but he didn't just suddenly become an alcoholic

Yes, you are correct. I realize I was not very clear in my writing. He drank from the beginning, although not in a way that interfered with his ability to function.

[Anonymous]

As an addiction specialist who sees patients coming in for acute rehab, often for their second or third (or sixth) stint, I will take a walk with the spouse/partner during intake. I'll thank them for supporting their partner. Then I'll tell them it's ok to support themselves, including leaving. Leaving the treatment center, or the relationship. People don't understand how hard addiction will take others down. My message to parters is that they can let go, we've got this, at least for the time in which the patient is in our care. And if that partner wants to stay and be involved, we'll help in any way we can. But that it's also ok to save themselves or any kids involved.

Life is not a prison sentence to be endured. It's not everyone's practice style but I feel like partners of addicts need to hear this message from someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an addiction specialist who sees patients coming in for acute rehab, often for their second or third (or sixth) stint, I will take a walk with the spouse/partner during intake. I'll thank them for supporting their partner. Then I'll tell them it's ok to support themselves, including leaving. Leaving the treatment center, or the relationship. People don't understand how hard addiction will take others down. My message to parters is that they can let go, we've got this, at least for the time in which the patient is in our care. And if that partner wants to stay and be involved, we'll help in any way we can. But that it's also ok to save themselves or any kids involved.

Life is not a prison sentence to be endured. It's not everyone's practice style but I feel like partners of addicts need to hear this message from someone.

Wow. Thank you so much for these words. As someone who left an alcoholic, it really helps to hear these words. Things got so bad that I had to leave for myself and my kids' emotional, physical, and financial security. My ex is still not in treatment, has no permanent living arrangement, and does not talk to any of us.