Middle Schooler - Scared to Unmask for fear of bullying - mask fishing

[Anonymous]

Middle school is the worst in so many ways!! Glad I do not have a middle schooler right now.

[Anonymous]

It'll happen with time. This change was implemented over night. The kids haven't even had a chance to really process it yet. Expect masks to incrementally come off week by week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school is the worst in so many ways!! Glad I do not have a middle schooler right now.

Yeah, its rough. But there's also so much that gives me hope.

For example, my 13yo DS would probably be described by most as a 'jock.' But he's also into things that others would call 'nerdy' (like Science Fiction type of stuff).

He has become good friends with an openly gay boy in his grade who is also into the science fiction stuff (they literally get on Zoom and play these super nerdy video games together; they initially bonded as the only 2 kids that still play some Legend of Zelda game).

30 years ago, the jock would have been too afraid to be considered a nerd, and the other boy would have been in the closet for years, probably.

now, they can both be themselves, be friends, and enjoy their nerdy hobbies together.

I know there is A LOT that is troubling about MS these days. But there's also a lot to be grateful for

[Anonymous]

OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

This is not the big deal you are making it out to be. They can do what they want; they can choose to feel "intimidated", they can mask or unmask. This is a good time for them to learn you can't control the behavior of other people. Only your own behavior and reactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

This is not the big deal you are making it out to be. They can do what they want; they can choose to feel "intimidated", they can mask or unmask. This is a good time for them to learn you can't control the behavior of other people. Only your own behavior and reactions.

OP again - I understand that. Was looking for input on how other parents are guiding their kids in the conversation. Tools for explaining that although everyone has told you that this is something you have to do now you don't. Or why are you worried about what others might say? Stand up for what makes sense to you and lead by example. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

This is not the big deal you are making it out to be. They can do what they want; they can choose to feel "intimidated", they can mask or unmask. This is a good time for them to learn you can't control the behavior of other people. Only your own behavior and reactions.

OP again - I understand that. Was looking for input on how other parents are guiding their kids in the conversation. Tools for explaining that although everyone has told you that this is something you have to do now you don't. Or why are you worried about what others might say? Stand up for what makes sense to you and lead by example. That is all.

I sent my kids to school with masks in their bookbag if they want to put them on. I explained to them that it is their choice to mask or do without the mask and that other students would be making their own choice as well. People do what is most comfortable for them and it doesn't make anyone right/wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I encouraged my middle schooler to ditch the mask and she said people who unmask are idiots because it is too early and there is still a global pandemic.

Seems like a reasonable position to me, though I'd prefer that she unmask. It's been a rough year and it would be very slightly better if people could see her nice smile and she could speak more easily.

+1 sort of.
I didn't exactly encourage my child to unmask but I did let my child know that the mask mandate had been dropped and that she should feel free to unmask today. I actually put out my hand expecting her to take off her mask and give it to me. She said she didn't want to. She's not the anxious type and goes out plenty but does not want the headache of having to quarantine if positive or getting a cold/flu that would keep her out of school or activities.
Seems reasonable. No worry of bullying. She texted that about 1/3-1/2 the school had unmasked.

This, exactly. My kid is vaxxed and has asthma. Spring is usually terrible for her, but the last two springs were actually great (due to masking). She loves school and doesn't want to get sick, or have to stay home for quarantine, so she masks to protect herself from *all* URIs. We also encouraged her to unmask but honestly the 1.5 years of virtual were just brutal, she's not ready to stay home for anything she can reasonably mitigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My three elementary schoolers were super excited not to wear masks today. They've dutifully worn them this whole time with nary a peep, but when DH and I told them that masks were no longer required yesterday, they whooped and cheered.

They got nervous this morning when they were among the very few kids to go unmasked at drop off, but we reminded them it was their choice. A few close friends of theirs are also foregoing the masks, which we reminded them of. We'll see how the first day goes.

I do think it's comical that people assume that kids will be targeted for wearing masks rather than not wearing them, when anyone not wearing a KN95 outside in our 'hood has been given laser eyes of death. Get real.

Can versus should are different things. There is nothing wrong with continuing to try to protect more medically vulnerable school personnel. Sorry if that bugs you so much. and yes, your privilege is showing. Glad your kids are emerging as different.

[Anonymous]

JFC are people really this twisted up about this? I sent my 5th grade kid to school today with a mask. I told him he could wear it or not, whatever he's comfortable with. I told him he could wear it for a while, take it off for a while, put it back on, whatever. He'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three elementary schoolers were super excited not to wear masks today. They've dutifully worn them this whole time with nary a peep, but when DH and I told them that masks were no longer required yesterday, they whooped and cheered.

They got nervous this morning when they were among the very few kids to go unmasked at drop off, but we reminded them it was their choice. A few close friends of theirs are also foregoing the masks, which we reminded them of. We'll see how the first day goes.

I do think it's comical that people assume that kids will be targeted for wearing masks rather than not wearing them, when anyone not wearing a KN95 outside in our 'hood has been given laser eyes of death. Get real.

Can versus should are different things. There is nothing wrong with continuing to try to protect more medically vulnerable school personnel. Sorry if that bugs you so much. and yes, your privilege is showing. Glad your kids are emerging as different.

My calculus is can vs. won't. My kids can wear a mask if they choose, but they likely won't. Works for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three elementary schoolers were super excited not to wear masks today. They've dutifully worn them this whole time with nary a peep, but when DH and I told them that masks were no longer required yesterday, they whooped and cheered.

They got nervous this morning when they were among the very few kids to go unmasked at drop off, but we reminded them it was their choice. A few close friends of theirs are also foregoing the masks, which we reminded them of. We'll see how the first day goes.

I do think it's comical that people assume that kids will be targeted for wearing masks rather than not wearing them, when anyone not wearing a KN95 outside in our 'hood has been given laser eyes of death. Get real.

Can versus should are different things. There is nothing wrong with continuing to try to protect more medically vulnerable school personnel. Sorry if that bugs you so much. and yes, your privilege is showing. Glad your kids are emerging as different.

Grow up. If adults in this county have permission to go wherever they want unmasked, there is no credible reason why children should be forced to mask for six hours a day in school. None. I am ALL for wearing high quality masks when case counts are high, and before vaccines and Paxlovid were available. Right now, though, things are different.

But sure, keep recommending an intervention with little proven effectiveness, in children, and with real potential downsides, just so you can virtue signal about COVID. That you think it's the only public health outcome of worth is as telling as it is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

This is not the big deal you are making it out to be. They can do what they want; they can choose to feel "intimidated", they can mask or unmask. This is a good time for them to learn you can't control the behavior of other people. Only your own behavior and reactions.

OP again - I understand that. Was looking for input on how other parents are guiding their kids in the conversation. Tools for explaining that although everyone has told you that this is something you have to do now you don't. Or why are you worried about what others might say? Stand up for what makes sense to you and lead by example. That is all.

OP, I'm the PP with elementary kids. DH and I explained to our kids the evidence related to masking, and also current local case rates, vaccine status, and Paxlovid availability (appropriately for their different ages). We listened to what concerns they might have about what others might say to them. We emphasized that, ultimately, it's their choice.

We also pointed out that, including ours, the four families we know are sending their kids unmasked comprise parents who work at various federal science agencies and/or conduct STEM research. In our household, we believe that science matters, that mental health is health, that we can adjust our behavior as we gather new data, and, perhaps most importantly, that very few issues are as black and white as they might appear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't know who Kara and Tracy are honestly no clue. I have not texted my kids but am hopeful that they were able to let people see their smiles today. I simply want them to be comfortable with who they are and show their faces now that they can. They should not feel intimidated that is all I am saying. I am hopeful that with time they will ditch them all together.

This is not the big deal you are making it out to be. They can do what they want; they can choose to feel "intimidated", they can mask or unmask. This is a good time for them to learn you can't control the behavior of other people. Only your own behavior and reactions.

OP again - I understand that. Was looking for input on how other parents are guiding their kids in the conversation. Tools for explaining that although everyone has told you that this is something you have to do now you don't. Or why are you worried about what others might say? Stand up for what makes sense to you and lead by example. That is all.

OP, I'm the PP with elementary kids. DH and I explained to our kids the evidence related to masking, and also current local case rates, vaccine status, and Paxlovid availability (appropriately for their different ages). We listened to what concerns they might have about what others might say to them. We emphasized that, ultimately, it's their choice.

We also pointed out that, including ours, the four families we know are sending their kids unmasked comprise parents who work at various federal science agencies and/or conduct STEM research. In our household, we believe that science matters, that mental health is health, that we can adjust our behavior as we gather new data, and, perhaps most importantly, that very few issues are as black and white as they might appear.

Holy sanctimonious!

[Anonymous]

Considering it's been less than 24 hours since they repealed the mask mandate, they can't be "writing about bullying" in reference to any actual incidents.

But I can see how they'd want to head off any potential incidents before they happen. Given the way the in-person attendees at yesterday's meeting booed and heckled the pro-mandate speakers, I'm sure they were concerned about apples not falling far from the tree, and all that. Given how contentious things have gotten Covid in general and in particular regarding masks, it wouldn't be surprising at all to see kids' behavior mirroring that of their parents, on both sides of the issue.