Blair CAP vs. Whitman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we've been having the same debate at our house, although in our case it's a different W school vs. CAP. DD also got into RMIB but won't be going there (which is 100% fine with us). We have two older kids, one of whom went to the home W HS and one of whom went to RMIB, so we have those experiences for comparison.

DD is super into drama/theater, as are all of her Eastern friends, so she wants to go to CAP. My spouse and I have been discussing a lot and basically we decided that it's got to be our choice, not her choice, both for family reasons and based on our evaluation of what's best for her. Here's why we have decided she can't go to CAP:

1) CAP has a great program that's a continuation of Eastern (and really Barnsley as well since that's more of a humanities focus), but we are concerned about the quality of the rest of the classes outside CAP, given non-magnet Blair (which admittedly we have no experience with) vs. WJ. I want her to be able to take AP classes in 9th grade (AP Government), and I want her to have a strong all-around education, not simply a specialty in humanities that is most apparent in the first two years and then tapers off in junior/senior years.

2) The length of the school day (eight periods) and the length of the commute are huge factors. She's on the bus at 7 am and doesn't get home until 4:30 pm as it is (and that is the same bus schedule she'd have next year). With eight periods, that's a lot less time for extracurriculars, downtime, family time, and sleep, all of which are important. I can't find what time the activity buses run, but we aren't on a magnet activity bus route for Eastern and I don't think we'd be on one for Blair.

3) I am tired of not having a parent community to exchange favors and information with. Given the distances, there's no one to carpool with for afterschool activities. There aren't any parents I can rely on to exchange favors when there's a time crunch.

4) Relatedly, the logistics of getting her to/from school are too much for us. With traffic (and there's almost always traffic) it's 25-30 minutes each way. My spouse and I are working from home still but that's not going to last forever -- we can't just get over there to get her quickly on a moment's notice.

5) DD went to Barnsley ES before Eastern, so has been out of the neighborhood friend loop since 4th grade. None of her Barnsley friends went to Eastern, and none are going to the home HS. It's really becoming problematic because every get-together is a schlep, as all her friends are in Silver Spring. That's two hours of driving round-trip for us as her parents. She's lonely on weekends because there's no one local to hang out with. She suffers from some social anxiety, too, so is always reluctant to be the one to initiate a hang-out.

6) We know our home high school. It's a happy, well-run place and it's 600 kids fewer than Blair. Our older kid had a great experience there. DD has been out of the loop with her friends from elementary and the neighborhood, but still knows a lot of them and will reconnect and/or make new friendships. Our DD can put together a rigorous, challenging program and have a lot more time in her day both for school and for extracurriculars at the home HS.

7) We let our other kid go to RMIB -- it was her choice even though we weren't thrilled about it. We have experienced some of the issues above, and it's also been a brutal program both on its own merits and because of the pandemic. It's cost a lot in terms of time, stress, pressure, anxiety, etc. We are not happy that we're making this decision for our youngest instead of letting her make it for herself, but we're much more aware now of the impacts to our whole family of one kid going to a magnet program.

So that's where we are. Reading your posts, I'd say there's no compelling reason for your kid to go to CAP for some of the same reasons we have.

Amazing post. Really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

My son is very stubborn however...haven't found a way to convince him. He insists that he will commit and sacrifice for CAP, putting in the extra hours of work and commute, even though in reality, I think it will be really hard for him. He said he is interested in CAP but deep down I think he is telling himself he is interested because he wants to go. I can't even remember how many times he had previously complained about Eastern, especially during 7th grade (pandemic made it worse).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An additional consideration is that regardless of who your child is friends with in middle school, that will change - at least to an extent - regardless of how many of them attend high school together. It’s a developmentally, normal process. Peer groups shift and change. My point is that going to a school because your friends are going there is probably a weaker reason.

Very well said. It is a weak reason.

[Anonymous]

Really appreciating this discussion as the parent of another Eastern 8th grader weighing CAP vs home school (which, in our case, is a non-W, middle-of-the-pack school). I'm personally sick of dealing with the long commute and would be really happy if my kid could get themselves to and from the bus stop next year (not possible with the magnet bus stop; kid cannot get themselves home on their own). I also think my kid would appreciate a shorter day and more free time for other interests, and I think they can create a challenging schedule that plays to their interests at the home school (they have AP US History for 9th graders, for example). On the other hand, the CAP cohort (including current friends) and integrated curriculum are really appealing. We're still weighing the options. I wish the CAP open house weren't the day before decisions are due! We'll have to go back and re-watch the video from the fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You move to the area for good schools. Stay at Whitman.

Except there's no comparison here. Blair CAP is a much stronger program than anything offered at Whitman.

Ok, but all the ranting about how bad DCC schools are (when many of us know its not true), so they move to to that area to go to Whitman and should stick to their schools.

[Anonymous]

PP of the overly-long post above:

Amazing post. Really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

My son is very stubborn however...haven't found a way to convince him. He insists that he will commit and sacrifice for CAP, putting in the extra hours of work and commute, even though in reality, I think it will be really hard for him. He said he is interested in CAP but deep down I think he is telling himself he is interested because he wants to go. I can't even remember how many times he had previously complained about Eastern, especially during 7th grade (pandemic made it worse).

I get it. It's really hard to say no, kid, you can't do this program and you have to leave your friends. My spouse and I have been agonizing over this decision. We had a weird bobble where our DD got the ParentVue notification that they'd been accepted to RMIB but not CAP, then we got CAP notification email the next day. During that 24-hour period, our DD wasn't nearly as upset as we thought she'd be and actually expressed frustration at getting into CAP because now she had a choice to make.

My spouse's observation -- I don't know if he's right -- is that it's hard for these kids to turn down the more "prestigious" magnet programs in favor of the plain-vanilla HS to their peers. His thought is that by making out our decision rather than her decision, we may be making a choice that she's secretly OK with and give her an excuse for any of her friends who might otherwise think she's taking the easy way out. I certainly know from my older kid's experience (the one who went to RMIB) that when she was at Eastern, all the magnet kids (at least the girls) talked about magnet HS a LOT both during application and then during admission seasons.

Immediate PP -- I agree with you about the frustration of not having the open house until the night before!! Also, no opportunities for kids to do shadow days or have real open houses at the actual school.

For what it's worth, my older DD who went through RMIB had friends who left the program to return to the home HS because the commute combined with the magnet courseload was too much. And I also think paying attention to the burden on you of the long commute and needing to drive every day is completely legit.

[Anonymous]

Reading everything here with interest. My DC has also gotten into CAP but from a non-magnet middle school. PP said that their DD has 2 hours of homework/night. Do others find something similar? Just weighing the extra period with my DC's ADHD and commute time and the stamina to handle a huge homework load daily. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

We have loved all the classes Blair has to offer (I have a magnet kid) but lots of CAP friends, and classes outside the CAP & magnet are really good too. Plus a million clubs. CAP kids can take magnet classes in 11/12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP of the overly-long post above:

Amazing post. Really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

My son is very stubborn however...haven't found a way to convince him. He insists that he will commit and sacrifice for CAP, putting in the extra hours of work and commute, even though in reality, I think it will be really hard for him. He said he is interested in CAP but deep down I think he is telling himself he is interested because he wants to go. I can't even remember how many times he had previously complained about Eastern, especially during 7th grade (pandemic made it worse).

I get it. It's really hard to say no, kid, you can't do this program and you have to leave your friends. My spouse and I have been agonizing over this decision. We had a weird bobble where our DD got the ParentVue notification that they'd been accepted to RMIB but not CAP, then we got CAP notification email the next day. During that 24-hour period, our DD wasn't nearly as upset as we thought she'd be and actually expressed frustration at getting into CAP because now she had a choice to make.

My spouse's observation -- I don't know if he's right -- is that it's hard for these kids to turn down the more "prestigious" magnet programs in favor of the plain-vanilla HS to their peers. His thought is that by making out our decision rather than her decision, we may be making a choice that she's secretly OK with and give her an excuse for any of her friends who might otherwise think she's taking the easy way out. I certainly know from my older kid's experience (the one who went to RMIB) that when she was at Eastern, all the magnet kids (at least the girls) talked about magnet HS a LOT both during application and then during admission seasons.

Immediate PP -- I agree with you about the frustration of not having the open house until the night before!! Also, no opportunities for kids to do shadow days or have real open houses at the actual school.

For what it's worth, my older DD who went through RMIB had friends who left the program to return to the home HS because the commute combined with the magnet courseload was too much. And I also think paying attention to the burden on you of the long commute and needing to drive every day is completely legit.

Funny you say that. In previous years, I have heard the same thing - Eastern kids (especially girls) discussed a lot about magnet applications and admissions. My son hasn't discussed much with his friends. I don't even think he knows where all his friends are going. Well, it is still early and they are trying to make up their minds I guess. For him, I think it is more a function of 1. I have friends at CAP; 2. I am at Blair (for bus transfer every day) and it is my comfort zone; and 3. I have done Eastern and I am not super scared of CAP (again, a matter of comfort zone). I expect a long battle on this topic at home in the coming days....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we've been having the same debate at our house, although in our case it's a different W school vs. CAP. DD also got into RMIB but won't be going there (which is 100% fine with us). We have two older kids, one of whom went to the home W HS and one of whom went to RMIB, so we have those experiences for comparison.

DD is super into drama/theater, as are all of her Eastern friends, so she wants to go to CAP. My spouse and I have been discussing a lot and basically we decided that it's got to be our choice, not her choice, both for family reasons and based on our evaluation of what's best for her. Here's why we have decided she can't go to CAP:

1) CAP has a great program that's a continuation of Eastern (and really Barnsley as well since that's more of a humanities focus), but we are concerned about the quality of the rest of the classes outside CAP, given non-magnet Blair (which admittedly we have no experience with) vs. WJ. I want her to be able to take AP classes in 9th grade (AP Government), and I want her to have a strong all-around education, not simply a specialty in humanities that is most apparent in the first two years and then tapers off in junior/senior years.

2) The length of the school day (eight periods) and the length of the commute are huge factors. She's on the bus at 7 am and doesn't get home until 4:30 pm as it is (and that is the same bus schedule she'd have next year). With eight periods, that's a lot less time for extracurriculars, downtime, family time, and sleep, all of which are important. I can't find what time the activity buses run, but we aren't on a magnet activity bus route for Eastern and I don't think we'd be on one for Blair.

3) I am tired of not having a parent community to exchange favors and information with. Given the distances, there's no one to carpool with for afterschool activities. There aren't any parents I can rely on to exchange favors when there's a time crunch.

4) Relatedly, the logistics of getting her to/from school are too much for us. With traffic (and there's almost always traffic) it's 25-30 minutes each way. My spouse and I are working from home still but that's not going to last forever -- we can't just get over there to get her quickly on a moment's notice.

5) DD went to Barnsley ES before Eastern, so has been out of the neighborhood friend loop since 4th grade. None of her Barnsley friends went to Eastern, and none are going to the home HS. It's really becoming problematic because every get-together is a schlep, as all her friends are in Silver Spring. That's two hours of driving round-trip for us as her parents. She's lonely on weekends because there's no one local to hang out with. She suffers from some social anxiety, too, so is always reluctant to be the one to initiate a hang-out.

6) We know our home high school. It's a happy, well-run place and it's 600 kids fewer than Blair. Our older kid had a great experience there. DD has been out of the loop with her friends from elementary and the neighborhood, but still knows a lot of them and will reconnect and/or make new friendships. Our DD can put together a rigorous, challenging program and have a lot more time in her day both for school and for extracurriculars at the home HS.

7) We let our other kid go to RMIB -- it was her choice even though we weren't thrilled about it. We have experienced some of the issues above, and it's also been a brutal program both on its own merits and because of the pandemic. It's cost a lot in terms of time, stress, pressure, anxiety, etc. We are not happy that we're making this decision for our youngest instead of letting her make it for herself, but we're much more aware now of the impacts to our whole family of one kid going to a magnet program.

So that's where we are. Reading your posts, I'd say there's no compelling reason for your kid to go to CAP for some of the same reasons we have.

NP. Loving this thread since DC faces similar decision, albeit our home school is a non-W school. Thanks so much for enumerating the different factors in your post, PP -- very helpful! And my DC sounds very similar to OP's kid, so I have all the same concerns. I, too, wish that they had an info session for CAP this week instead of the day before decisions are due. SIGH. I attended the virtual CAP info meeting back in October and came away highly impressed, especially with the student speakers, but I just don't know if my DC would be a good fit for the program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading everything here with interest. My DC has also gotten into CAP but from a non-magnet middle school. PP said that their DD has 2 hours of homework/night. Do others find something similar? Just weighing the extra period with my DC's ADHD and commute time and the stamina to handle a huge homework load daily. Thanks.

Yeah, I would love to know what's the homework differential between CAP and Whitman (if honors class, etc.). For example, if CAP is 2 hours of homework every night, what would it be like at Whitman, for example?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An additional consideration is that regardless of who your child is friends with in middle school, that will change - at least to an extent - regardless of how many of them attend high school together. It’s a developmentally, normal process. Peer groups shift and change. My point is that going to a school because your friends are going there is probably a weaker reason.

I agree that kids change friends, but there are different social interactions at different schools. Blair is very diverse, and, after attending Eastern, a kid may feel more comfortable there than at a W school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to factor in commute too. If your kid isn't passionate about the CAP program, and sounds like a good fit for Whitman, why spend that much more time commuting, especially when the homework load goes up. You can take plenty of challenging humanities and other classes at Whitman if that's what he wants to do.

My DC entered Whitman in 9th from a private school and knew only a few kids from sports and other activities and found the social transition very easy. Does your DC still have friends from ES or the neighborhood?

He doesn't really have good local friends. Most friends are from Eastern.

Can you help him develop those local friendships more? It's clear what you want is not what he wants and in the end if you can't convince him I would personally have him go to CAP. At this age I think children should have a lot of input or make the deciding choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to factor in commute too. If your kid isn't passionate about the CAP program, and sounds like a good fit for Whitman, why spend that much more time commuting, especially when the homework load goes up. You can take plenty of challenging humanities and other classes at Whitman if that's what he wants to do.

My DC entered Whitman in 9th from a private school and knew only a few kids from sports and other activities and found the social transition very easy. Does your DC still have friends from ES or the neighborhood?

Also entered Whitman in 9th. My DC had an OK transition -- shy kid and pandemic 9th -- misses the kind of quirky politically involved kids PP described at CAP, but overall Whitman is challenging without being overwhelming and amazing range of extracurriculars and motivated kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading everything here with interest. My DC has also gotten into CAP but from a non-magnet middle school. PP said that their DD has 2 hours of homework/night. Do others find something similar? Just weighing the extra period with my DC's ADHD and commute time and the stamina to handle a huge homework load daily. Thanks.

Assuming they take 7-8 classes, that is 30 minutes per class, so that sounds reasonable. You need to ask your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An additional consideration is that regardless of who your child is friends with in middle school, that will change - at least to an extent - regardless of how many of them attend high school together. It’s a developmentally, normal process. Peer groups shift and change. My point is that going to a school because your friends are going there is probably a weaker reason.

Very well said. It is a weak reason.

One of my kid's best friends is from 3's preschool. They're both college frosh now, and still great friends.