Would you hire a doula during omicron surge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was pro doula until I had one. That’s a grand I will NEVER get back. Total waste of money to have a damn stranger at my birth echoing what my far superior L and D nurses were saying. In hindsight I wish I had asked my mom to come instead. I’m still bothered that this rando lady who really sucked basically interfered and witnessed the most intimate day of my life and took a thousand dollars from me
For the privilege while doing really nothing helpful. Waste. Of. Money.

Totally! I have no idea how this became a thing among UMc women. In my culture snd in many cultures, you might have your mom or sister there to lend a hand and moral support. OBs snd L snd D nurses are highly trained and can handle complications. My Brooklyn cousin insisted on hiring a doula. When my uncle, a retired anesthesiologist, visited her in the hospital because she had extreme pain from something that went wrong, the doula was curled up on a bench, sleeping. He was like WTF is that?!

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for your perspective everybody! To be clear, the main purpose for hiring a doula was because my husband and I are first time parents expecting twins and we are new to the DC area so have zero local support. I have no idea how I’ll react to being in labor and my husband panics when I am in pain/stress/grief etc, so I can see a scenario where neither of us can even really comprehend what nurses and doctors are telling us because we are so stressed. I was hoping to have someone who could calmly listen and translate what’s going on, while providing a stabilizing presence. I’ll probably end up with a c-section anyway and definitely want an epidural if I go into labor on my own, so it’s not about that. But now I’m freaked about even going to my OB and MFM appointments with this surge, so I’ve decided not to hire a doula. My husband is disappointed because he feels unprepared and liked that a doula was going to walk us through a birth plan ahead of time (and in particular he’s concerned about PPD and wanted to learn more about how to support me post-birth), but I’ve signed up for some virtual childbirth prep classes through our hospital in the hopes that it will cover content that makes us both feel better prepared. We are super, super type A people, so I really liked the idea of having a calm, disconnected person there with us (and our super anxious mothers wouldn’t provide that either, even if they could travel to be there). Stinks. Anywho, decision made, but thanks again for the feedback!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for your perspective everybody! To be clear, the main purpose for hiring a doula was because my husband and I are first time parents expecting twins and we are new to the DC area so have zero local support. I have no idea how I’ll react to being in labor and my husband panics when I am in pain/stress/grief etc, so I can see a scenario where neither of us can even really comprehend what nurses and doctors are telling us because we are so stressed. I was hoping to have someone who could calmly listen and translate what’s going on, while providing a stabilizing presence. I’ll probably end up with a c-section anyway and definitely want an epidural if I go into labor on my own, so it’s not about that. But now I’m freaked about even going to my OB and MFM appointments with this surge, so I’ve decided not to hire a doula. My husband is disappointed because he feels unprepared and liked that a doula was going to walk us through a birth plan ahead of time (and in particular he’s concerned about PPD and wanted to learn more about how to support me post-birth), but I’ve signed up for some virtual childbirth prep classes through our hospital in the hopes that it will cover content that makes us both feel better prepared. We are super, super type A people, so I really liked the idea of having a calm, disconnected person there with us (and our super anxious mothers wouldn’t provide that either, even if they could travel to be there). Stinks. Anywho, decision made, but thanks again for the feedback!!

I think you've made the right choice based on the circumstances. But since you're expecting twins and have no local support, you should think seriously about a postpartum doula.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re smart to skip the doula at the hospital, I’m a PP who did the same (and I’m glad I did, as of now I’m only allowed one support person).

We did hire a night nanny to help as we are in a similar situation with no local family. Her rate was cheaper than the postpartum doula so you might want to explore both options to have some extra coverage at home.

[Anonymous]

I loved my doula!! She was amazing at the birth of my children. That said I probably wouldn’t hire one now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for your perspective everybody! To be clear, the main purpose for hiring a doula was because my husband and I are first time parents expecting twins and we are new to the DC area so have zero local support. I have no idea how I’ll react to being in labor and my husband panics when I am in pain/stress/grief etc, so I can see a scenario where neither of us can even really comprehend what nurses and doctors are telling us because we are so stressed. I was hoping to have someone who could calmly listen and translate what’s going on, while providing a stabilizing presence. I’ll probably end up with a c-section anyway and definitely want an epidural if I go into labor on my own, so it’s not about that. But now I’m freaked about even going to my OB and MFM appointments with this surge, so I’ve decided not to hire a doula. My husband is disappointed because he feels unprepared and liked that a doula was going to walk us through a birth plan ahead of time (and in particular he’s concerned about PPD and wanted to learn more about how to support me post-birth), but I’ve signed up for some virtual childbirth prep classes through our hospital in the hopes that it will cover content that makes us both feel better prepared. We are super, super type A people, so I really liked the idea of having a calm, disconnected person there with us (and our super anxious mothers wouldn’t provide that either, even if they could travel to be there). Stinks. Anywho, decision made, but thanks again for the feedback!!

Skip the doula and hire a baby nurse postpartum to help with feeding, changing, umbilical cord, circumcision healing,bathing, getting babies on feeding schedules etc. the newborn phase is a blur and you’ll be recovering from giving birth. I never had a doula but hired help for the first few weeks postpartum and it was great.

[Anonymous]

What you should spend your money on is a post partum doula, a baby nurse, or anyone who will come and give you a break from the intense work of caring for twins.

[Anonymous]

I am due inJune and definitely going with a doula again. If I were due sooner, I would actually want my doula even more because there are so many protocols to follow and I would want her help. However, if you want a doula for February, you need to hire ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for your perspective everybody! To be clear, the main purpose for hiring a doula was because my husband and I are first time parents expecting twins and we are new to the DC area so have zero local support. I have no idea how I’ll react to being in labor and my husband panics when I am in pain/stress/grief etc, so I can see a scenario where neither of us can even really comprehend what nurses and doctors are telling us because we are so stressed. I was hoping to have someone who could calmly listen and translate what’s going on, while providing a stabilizing presence. I’ll probably end up with a c-section anyway and definitely want an epidural if I go into labor on my own, so it’s not about that. But now I’m freaked about even going to my OB and MFM appointments with this surge, so I’ve decided not to hire a doula. My husband is disappointed because he feels unprepared and liked that a doula was going to walk us through a birth plan ahead of time (and in particular he’s concerned about PPD and wanted to learn more about how to support me post-birth), but I’ve signed up for some virtual childbirth prep classes through our hospital in the hopes that it will cover content that makes us both feel better prepared. We are super, super type A people, so I really liked the idea of having a calm, disconnected person there with us (and our super anxious mothers wouldn’t provide that either, even if they could travel to be there). Stinks. Anywho, decision made, but thanks again for the feedback!!

I think you've made the right choice based on the circumstances. But since you're expecting twins and have no local support, you should think seriously about a postpartum doula.

Night nurse. Invest in a night nurse for the first month or so unless the grandmothers can stay with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am due inJune and definitely going with a doula again. If I were due sooner, I would actually want my doula even more because there are so many protocols to follow and I would want her help. However, if you want a doula for February, you need to hire ASAP.

Just make sure you’ll be allowed two support people if you’re going with a doula this spring. My hospital has already changed their policy to only one support person so I’d lose my deposit if I had gone with a doula. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for your perspective everybody! To be clear, the main purpose for hiring a doula was because my husband and I are first time parents expecting twins and we are new to the DC area so have zero local support. I have no idea how I’ll react to being in labor and my husband panics when I am in pain/stress/grief etc, so I can see a scenario where neither of us can even really comprehend what nurses and doctors are telling us because we are so stressed. I was hoping to have someone who could calmly listen and translate what’s going on, while providing a stabilizing presence. I’ll probably end up with a c-section anyway and definitely want an epidural if I go into labor on my own, so it’s not about that. But now I’m freaked about even going to my OB and MFM appointments with this surge, so I’ve decided not to hire a doula. My husband is disappointed because he feels unprepared and liked that a doula was going to walk us through a birth plan ahead of time (and in particular he’s concerned about PPD and wanted to learn more about how to support me post-birth), but I’ve signed up for some virtual childbirth prep classes through our hospital in the hopes that it will cover content that makes us both feel better prepared. We are super, super type A people, so I really liked the idea of having a calm, disconnected person there with us (and our super anxious mothers wouldn’t provide that either, even if they could travel to be there). Stinks. Anywho, decision made, but thanks again for the feedback!!

I think you've made the right choice based on the circumstances. But since you're expecting twins and have no local support, you should think seriously about a postpartum doula.

+1

[Anonymous]

Definitely get a postpartum doula. I should have gotten one earlier! Doula for birth is not necessary.