All of my friends have their children learning home language

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Your DH doesn't need to speak your language for your children to be fluent. At 3 and 6, they should already be fluent in your language. Mine speak my language and DH (we speak different languages and do not understand the other). They learned English last. We never spoke to them in English starting at birth or when at home. Still don't. I don't know if it's too late, but I think you should try and be consistent.

So your family never speaks to each other in one common language? If you're all sitting around the dinner table, you and your child speak a language to each other--and your spouse has no idea what you're saying? Then your spouse will talk to your child in another language, and you have no idea what they are saying? You never have all 4 of you engaging in conversation together as a family?

We do this, and yes, we never have a true conversation. I speak to kid in my native language, dad talks to him in english only, i speak english to dad. I NEVER speak english when talking directly to the kid, but i can address both of them and say "you guys need to bluh-bluh", but then i usually say the same thing in my native language. Again - no one said this is all fun, you make trade-offs. My kid is 5 and is fully bilingual, and much more comfortable in my language.

So you aren't the person I quoted, who said that neither of them ever speak English to their kids, and they (the parents) don't speak/understand each other's native language?

You sound like someone who only speaks English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Your DH doesn't need to speak your language for your children to be fluent. At 3 and 6, they should already be fluent in your language. Mine speak my language and DH (we speak different languages and do not understand the other). They learned English last. We never spoke to them in English starting at birth or when at home. Still don't. I don't know if it's too late, but I think you should try and be consistent.

So your family never speaks to each other in one common language? If you're all sitting around the dinner table, you and your child speak a language to each other--and your spouse has no idea what you're saying? Then your spouse will talk to your child in another language, and you have no idea what they are saying? You never have all 4 of you engaging in conversation together as a family?

We do this, and yes, we never have a true conversation. I speak to kid in my native language, dad talks to him in english only, i speak english to dad. I NEVER speak english when talking directly to the kid, but i can address both of them and say "you guys need to bluh-bluh", but then i usually say the same thing in my native language. Again - no one said this is all fun, you make trade-offs. My kid is 5 and is fully bilingual, and much more comfortable in my language.

So you aren't the person I quoted, who said that neither of them ever speak English to their kids, and they (the parents) don't speak/understand each other's native language?

You sound like someone who only speaks English.

Ok

You sound like someone who makes ignorant, incorrect assumptions about strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Your DH doesn't need to speak your language for your children to be fluent. At 3 and 6, they should already be fluent in your language. Mine speak my language and DH (we speak different languages and do not understand the other). They learned English last. We never spoke to them in English starting at birth or when at home. Still don't. I don't know if it's too late, but I think you should try and be consistent.

So your family never speaks to each other in one common language? If you're all sitting around the dinner table, you and your child speak a language to each other--and your spouse has no idea what you're saying? Then your spouse will talk to your child in another language, and you have no idea what they are saying? You never have all 4 of you engaging in conversation together as a family?

We do this, and yes, we never have a true conversation. I speak to kid in my native language, dad talks to him in english only, i speak english to dad. I NEVER speak english when talking directly to the kid, but i can address both of them and say "you guys need to bluh-bluh", but then i usually say the same thing in my native language. Again - no one said this is all fun, you make trade-offs. My kid is 5 and is fully bilingual, and much more comfortable in my language.

So you aren't the person I quoted, who said that neither of them ever speak English to their kids, and they (the parents) don't speak/understand each other's native language?

You sound like someone who only speaks English.

i'm the dinner PP with english + one other language, not the 2 languages + english PP. And not sure for whom that snarky comment was intended, but I definitely don't speak only English!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Your DH doesn't need to speak your language for your children to be fluent. At 3 and 6, they should already be fluent in your language. Mine speak my language and DH (we speak different languages and do not understand the other). They learned English last. We never spoke to them in English starting at birth or when at home. Still don't. I don't know if it's too late, but I think you should try and be consistent.

So your family never speaks to each other in one common language? If you're all sitting around the dinner table, you and your child speak a language to each other--and your spouse has no idea what you're saying? Then your spouse will talk to your child in another language, and you have no idea what they are saying? You never have all 4 of you engaging in conversation together as a family?

We do this, and yes, we never have a true conversation. I speak to kid in my native language, dad talks to him in english only, i speak english to dad. I NEVER speak english when talking directly to the kid, but i can address both of them and say "you guys need to bluh-bluh", but then i usually say the same thing in my native language. Again - no one said this is all fun, you make trade-offs. My kid is 5 and is fully bilingual, and much more comfortable in my language.

So you aren't the person I quoted, who said that neither of them ever speak English to their kids, and they (the parents) don't speak/understand each other's native language?

You sound like someone who only speaks English.

i'm the dinner PP with english + one other language, not the 2 languages + english PP. And not sure for whom that snarky comment was intended, but I definitely don't speak only English!

No, I'm pretty sure it was directed at me, because I think it's a shame to never have a family conversation, ever. I also definitely don't speak only English--but I value family interaction and just basic good manners.

[Anonymous]

Eh, focus on making sure that they speak/write and read in one language really well, and if they choose to stay in the States then maybe English should be it.

A strong grasp of English will take them far in life, ask anyone whose first language isn't English, the ability to speak fluently with no accent is a gift that most will never be given, anything else they can pick up later in life, high school, college etc.,

I always find it amusing when someone says they are bilingual, trilingual etc., but then they are actually only really fluent in one language and know enough of another just to get by.

IF you children know enough of your home language to get by I am sure that they will be just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all have ideas about what we "should" be teaching our children, but then life takes over and you can't do it all. Just focus on creating well rounded good human beings. Another language early on is fantastic (even for kids with speech delays) but if it doesn't work for you in your family, it's ok. Just talk it them and love them.

This exactly. My child was very good in my native language until around 7 years old he refused to speak it. He understands some but refuses to speak.

+1 My SIL is Chinese and her parents, who only speak Chinese, live with them. My brother exclusively speaks English. So, their girls have been speaking Chinese + English since they could talk but the 7 yr old only reluctantly speaks Chinese now and the 4 yr old refuses to speak it unless absolutely necessary to communicate with her grandmother.