Too old for donor eggs at 45?

[Anonymous]

I mean you can do it, but realize you'll basically have two only children.

I don't know why but I'm getting vibes from this post of the woman who was posting a lot a few years ago with some really troubling, sad only children feelings. It was troubling because it was irrational and outsized and we all worried how it would impact her child. If this is you, I am sorry to hear you are still having trouble with this.

If not, meh, do what you want, but consider the impacts to your existing child, what it's like to have a late in life kid and how it impacts them, and how willing you are to upset the apple cart with special needs, disruption, financial disruption, a sibling relationship that does not satisfy you or is not a good dynamic in adulthood, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in good health no reason why not. A clinic may ask for a Sign off from a maternal fetal medicine specialist as part of their protocol

+1

Me and several of my friends all had children/pregnancies in early 40s (without donor eggs or IVF). If you're healthy and feel like you could physically handle a pregnancy as well as another child, do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in good health no reason why not. A clinic may ask for a Sign off from a maternal fetal medicine specialist as part of their protocol

My clinic required an MFM consult and cardiac work-up (stress echo, EKG) prior to proceeding. Can’t recall if I replied before but I wouldn’t let age be the deciding factor - so if all else is a go - I would go for it! (Deciding factors for me would be financial and other resources, partner support, etc. I’m hardly unbiased though given the age I had my (?first) child and my desire for a second.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough question and no one can possibly help you with, really. Being an older parent can be tough. It can feel really tiresome to have strangers constantly ask if you are the grandparent. It really wears on one after that assumption is made constantly. I always thought I looked young and that wouldn't happen to me but it does happen. A lot. I get tired of being the oldest parent at school pickups and school functions. I have money and resources and am a good attentive parent at an older age but I have found my energy waning and I find myself dreaming about not having to jump up from my comfy recliner 100 times a day to attend to whiny kids needing things all the time. I am in my late 40's yet I do feel my age starting to slow me down a bit despite many hours spent trying to keep fit on the treadmill. There are things you haven't thought of like that that will be factors down the road. There's the need for reading glasses to make out the teeny print on the kids ibuprofen when they get sick. The worry about something happening to you before the kids can take care of themselves, so many things. Despite all the complaints listed I would not change my decision and of course happy I have my kids, just sometimes struggle with the demands of it.