My dad is dining out every night of the week -- worried about his budget and health

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little gobmacked at the PP above who said “only $20,000 per year.” That would be more than half my father’s pension!

Could you give him some gift certificates to places with healthier options? Or even just send him links to places—like “I tried this place the other day and it was so delicious—maybe someplace for you and Sol to try!”

I agree with PPs that this is a transition phase for him and it’s good he’s getting out and seeing people. But eating like that every day might actually cause him to feel worse in the long run, physically and mentally.

And also make sure he’s not missing his annual checkup (especially if your mom used to coordinate that). If his sugar or cholesterol start going through the roof, his doctor might give him the bad news.

Also if he used to do a sport like golf or tennis, now is a great time to encourage him to get back in. My dad thinks sports are for rich WASPs that don’t have real work to do or kids who need college scholarships so no way I’d ever get him to play a sport. But he does use the treadmill and under desk elliptical I bought him.

The man's wife just died. If his home is paid for he probably doesn't have alot of other expenses.

[Anonymous]

Can he join a club like the American Legion, Knights of Columbus, or a country club? A lot of those attract the older crowd, and also provide meals at very reasonable prices. They also have various events he can get invovled with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

What happens if OP's dad spends all of his savings? What if OP's dad needs assisted living or eventually a memory care unit? How will he pay for it? Do you think OP should contribute to her Dad's care if he can't afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

What happens if OP's dad spends all of his savings? What if OP's dad needs assisted living or eventually a memory care unit? How will he pay for it? Do you think OP should contribute to her Dad's care if he can't afford it?

Did OP say that or are you projecting? I see single elderly men all the time drinking and eating by themselves, enjoying being around other people even if it is just friendly staff and people-watching. Be glad he is out with other people and EATING. That requires him to get up, take a shower and shave, and get to a restaurant. My father had no appetite when he ate by himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

But he's spending HER potential inheritance. I don't believe OP cares about his health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

What happens if OP's dad spends all of his savings? What if OP's dad needs assisted living or eventually a memory care unit? How will he pay for it? Do you think OP should contribute to her Dad's care if he can't afford it?

Really? You think someone would spend 'all of this savings' by eating at Applebee s?

If he didn't have money, he wouldn't be eating out that often in the first place. Leave the man alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

But he's spending HER potential inheritance. I don't believe OP cares about his health.

This.

[Anonymous]

Time for the old man to have some fun! Leave him be

[Anonymous]

LOL at DCUM. OP's post has two folds, budget and health, and almost everyone focus on the money aspect.

If his health takes a turn for the worse after eating steak everyday, who's going to take care of him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STFU. I did this as a 30 year old when my husband died. Maybe he’ll change his ways, maybe he won’t. You say he lives close and you have him over “whenever possible.” Doesn’t sound like you’re exactly an open door.

Is this how you talk with people in person? Check your tone

Did I miss a vote where we all elected you DCUM hall monitor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

What happens if OP's dad spends all of his savings? What if OP's dad needs assisted living or eventually a memory care unit? How will he pay for it? Do you think OP should contribute to her Dad's care if he can't afford it?

Really? You think someone would spend 'all of this savings' by eating at Applebee s?

If he didn't have money, he wouldn't be eating out that often in the first place. Leave the man alone.

OP didn't say he was eating at Applebees. Are you projecting?

[Anonymous]

As a new widow, STFU.

[Anonymous]

Sad that OP expresses zero concern about her father's level of isolation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STFU. I did this as a 30 year old when my husband died. Maybe he’ll change his ways, maybe he won’t. You say he lives close and you have him over “whenever possible.” Doesn’t sound like you’re exactly an open door.

Is this how you talk with people in person? Check your tone

OP legit asked if she should STFU

My bad, I missed that. Thanks for the eye roll, though. OP sounds like you should go ahead and STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not spending YOUR money, OP.

But he's spending HER potential inheritance. I don't believe OP cares about his health.

This thread brought out the projection!