Concerned that 6yo is wetting his bed and hiding it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So DS, just turned 6 this month, is a very, very sensitive kid. He's always been very concerned about not upsetting others, even if it's DH or myself.

He's only very infrequently had bedwetting accidents all his life since we did potty training when he was about 2.5.But for the past month, it's been happening increasingly often. Instead of once in a blue moon, now it seems to be 1-2 times a week (that we're aware of).

This morning I saw that he was wearing different PJs than what he went to bed wearing, and was acting strangely. I waited for him to say something, but eventually ended up getting down on his level and gently asked if "Buddy, did you maybe have an accident..?"

He was not at all thrilled to be discussing it, even though I was very clear that no one was at all upset with him, and that we love him very much no matter what.

We eventually found out he'd stuffed sopping wet, pee soaked pajamas between his headboard and the wall (!!!), and that this had been happening way more than we'd realized (the nighttime accidents, not the PJs behind the bed).

We're kind of at a loss here, does anyone have any suggestions? We've never before made a big deal of accidents when they occur, and DS hasn't had any major changes in his life recently. We're currently doing homeschooling, so school stress hasn't really been a factor.

My kid was peeing in bed at night at 5 yrs old and I would just take him to the bathroom around 11 before I went to bed and he’d pretty much just pee in the toilet in his sleep, with some prompting. ALso, no liquids for at least an hr before bed. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Having him lay down, stretched out, lifting his bottom to diapered like a baby is embarrassing for a kid that age. Please use pull ups where he can step in and out on his own.

[Anonymous]

Op, I don't agree with any of the posts saying that you should put pull-ups/diapers back on an older kid that hasn't been wearing them for a while, particularly if accidents aren't happening daily. It could seriously backfire. I know my kid would not have been happy about it. I have an elementary kid, who like yours is sensitive, has hidden wet clothes, and has the occasional(2-3 per month) accident. If nothing has changes during the day and there are no medical issues, its time to deal with this head on in the most re-assuring way that you can. If we notice DS having a string of nighttime accidents, DH gets him before going to bed and that helps. We will do that for a few days until DS decides he doesn't want to do it any more. In any case, if there is an accident, it is DS's responsibility to change clothes, put his bedding and wet PJs in the washer, and either shower or wipe off his body where he was wet. We have made it clear that there are only consequences if he doesn't do this. This is an opportunity for your DS to not only take responsibility but do it on his own. All of this gives DS a sense of control over the situation. He only needs to ask you to wash his clothes if he doesn't know how to use the washer. He doesn't need to tell you what happened and you don't need to ask because you likely already know.

[Anonymous]

He’s only 6. There’s nothing wrong with a kid his age having nighttime accidents or needing a nighttime diaper. If he’s feeling anxious I suggest trying to spend some time with him before he goes to sleep. Play a game, read a book or watch a movie. Anything to take his mind off of it. It’s something a lot of kids go through and no reason he should feel embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having him lay down, stretched out, lifting his bottom to diapered like a baby is embarrassing for a kid that age. Please use pull ups where he can step in and out on his own.

THIS^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having him lay down, stretched out, lifting his bottom to diapered like a baby is embarrassing for a kid that age. Please use pull ups where he can step in and out on his own.

I've only done this a this a handful of times, but an option that has worked for us in the past was to fasten the two diaper tabs ahead of time, and have the child step into the pre-fastened diaper as if it's a pull-up. A kid that I used to babysit before that's exactly the age of the OP's child did this without fuss for almost an entire summer.

Kid's are smart, he obviously knew it was a diaper. But being able to put it on like undies meant the a great deal to him. It worked out well for us, because he was able to keep his confidence and feel more like a big boy...but it helped us out as well, as this kid peed like crazy at night, and nothing but a diaper would be up for the task with particular super-soaker kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having him lay down, stretched out, lifting his bottom to diapered like a baby is embarrassing for a kid that age. Please use pull ups where he can step in and out on his own.

I've only done this a this a handful of times, but an option that has worked for us in the past was to fasten the two diaper tabs ahead of time, and have the child step into the pre-fastened diaper as if it's a pull-up. A kid that I used to babysit before that's exactly the age of the OP's child did this without fuss for almost an entire summer.

Kid's are smart, he obviously knew it was a diaper. But being able to put it on like undies meant the a great deal to him. It worked out well for us, because he was able to keep his confidence and feel more like a big boy...but it helped us out as well, as this kid peed like crazy at night, and nothing but a diaper would be up for the task with particular super-soaker kid.

I’ve had this same experience. If you can do it with the kid standing up you can adjust the tapes after. A friend of mine had her almost 7 yr old wear one this year for a long flight. He doesn’t have accidents all the time but she knew he’d be sleeping at least some of the time and getting up for the bathroom isn’t always the easiest thing on a plane. It helps if you don’t call it a diaper. Just call them big kid pull-ups or bedtime underwear or something like that. He might not be keen on the idea at first but after a few nights of having a dry bed he’ll be better. I personally don’t like to tell kids no drinking anything at all before bed because I know it’s miserable needing a drink of water and being denied it. I wouldn’t let him drink a whole can of soda right before but I don’t see it as very helpful to say no drinks at all. I’d suggest getting some diapers but just be careful how you talk about them. He wants to be a big kid but sometimes it doesn’t happen all at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull-ups and diapers are essentially the same thing. The main difference is just that regular diapers have extra absorbency that some of the pull-ups do not. If the goal is to keep his bed and clothes dry all night than you probably want to have that extra protection.

Yes, but the OP said her LO is sensitive. And he's clearly shy about the situation if he's hiding wet pajamas in his room.

I just thought that going from a kid that's currently wearing underwear at night, to saying "Hey, now you need to lay down and have a diaper put on for bed, like you're a baby." is likely going to be a BIG deal for a kid like this. My kids would absolutely lose their minds if we told them they had to wear a side-fastening regular diaper anytime post-potty training days.

I don’t know how old your kids are but at age 6 it really shouldn’t be a big deal if you don’t treat it like it’s a big deal. Don’t tease him or call him a baby. Respect his feelings and make it matter of fact. Tell him some kids have accidents at night and that is okay but this is going to help make sure his bed stays dry and in the morning he can throw it away.

We tried this with our 6 yo. It did not fly. So we take him to the bathroom every night before 11 and wash sheets a couple times a week. At 6, when they have been out of pull ups for a couple years, they may not want to go back, no matter how chill you are about it. But it’s worth a try

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would consult with the pediatrician, mostly because the bedwetting has recently increased in frequency. It isn't unusual to not be dry at 6, but it is unusual to have gone from very infrequent bedwetting to 1-2 per week. It may be nothing, but it is worth checking in about.

+1

[Anonymous]

I know constipation can cause issues with kids who didn't have issues before. Have you ruled that out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull-ups and diapers are essentially the same thing. The main difference is just that regular diapers have extra absorbency that some of the pull-ups do not. If the goal is to keep his bed and clothes dry all night than you probably want to have that extra protection.

Yes, but the OP said her LO is sensitive. And he's clearly shy about the situation if he's hiding wet pajamas in his room.

I just thought that going from a kid that's currently wearing underwear at night, to saying "Hey, now you need to lay down and have a diaper put on for bed, like you're a baby." is likely going to be a BIG deal for a kid like this. My kids would absolutely lose their minds if we told them they had to wear a side-fastening regular diaper anytime post-potty training days.

I don’t know how old your kids are but at age 6 it really shouldn’t be a big deal if you don’t treat it like it’s a big deal. Don’t tease him or call him a baby. Respect his feelings and make it matter of fact. Tell him some kids have accidents at night and that is okay but this is going to help make sure his bed stays dry and in the morning he can throw it away.

We tried this with our 6 yo. It did not fly. So we take him to the bathroom every night before 11 and wash sheets a couple times a week. At 6, when they have been out of pull ups for a couple years, they may not want to go back, no matter how chill you are about it. But it’s worth a try

I would not make it optional. It’s unsanitary to sleep in a wet bed. Kid might not like the idea at first but they adjust. I personally would not want to be washing sheets and clothes and everything else on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but they also make slip-on diapers that fit like a pull-up, but have the absorbancy of an actual diaper.

You don't even need to call them 'diapers' or even pull-ups. Just tell your DS that they're 'nighttime undies' that will keep him dry at night if he happens to pee.

[Anonymous]

Helpful, thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helpful, thank you

Winner for dumbest bump of the year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would put a waterproof mattress cover on his mattress but not have him use a pullup since you want him to feel the wetness as a reminder when he starts to pee. He is old enough to change his linens and pjs in the morning and put them in the laundry room or a laundry basket. Agree that you should be very loving and matter-of-fact in showing him what to do.

This. I had layers of liners and sheets on my younger son's bed for quick nighttime changes. And a plastic basket to put dirty sheets in. We treated it matter-of-factly and he stopped having issues by 2nd grade.