Avid readers with several kids

[Anonymous]

It's the same dilemma with exercising. It's really hard to find the time to yourself, especially when any of the kids are under the age of 5.

Dads who golf all weekend are just on another level of....something.

[Anonymous]

I also read during bath time when my kids were toddler age and could usually grab a half hour after they were asleep. Now that they're older, it's nice to take an hour on a weekend afternoon and we all unplug and read in the same room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

I've been a huge reader my whole life. I do exactly what I did as a kid - carry my book with me everywhere I go and squeeze in a few minutes here and there. You know all those times you see people screwing around on their phone? In line, while waiting around, during lunch, etc? I read instead. I've also been enjoying children's books so I can read them with my kids. It's been fun re-visiting all the books I loved 25 years ago. Other than that, wake up early or do it after the kids go to bed.

Not having long periods of time to pursue your interests is just part of having kids. I'd love to spend hours reading, going for walks, taking classes, etc, but it's just not gonna happen right now. That's cool. I have maybe 15 years while my kids are little, that's 18% of my life. I can make some sacrifices.

Also, actually experiencing life - not just reading about it - has been far more important to my self-discovery and knowledge. I get way more out of reading a chapter, or listening to a podcast, and then applying to my own life, than I do out of reading an entire book of advice and knowledge I'm never gonna use. Reading is great, but it's just one very small source of connection and discovery in life. You're going to grow way more as a person by learning how to engage and connect with other, manage conflict, work as a family, etc than you will by reading a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

I've been a huge reader my whole life. I do exactly what I did as a kid - carry my book with me everywhere I go and squeeze in a few minutes here and there. You know all those times you see people screwing around on their phone? In line, while waiting around, during lunch, etc? I read instead. I've also been enjoying children's books so I can read them with my kids. It's been fun re-visiting all the books I loved 25 years ago. Other than that, wake up early or do it after the kids go to bed.

Not having long periods of time to pursue your interests is just part of having kids. I'd love to spend hours reading, going for walks, taking classes, etc, but it's just not gonna happen right now. That's cool. I have maybe 15 years while my kids are little, that's 18% of my life. I can make some sacrifices.

Also, actually experiencing life - not just reading about it - has been far more important to my self-discovery and knowledge. I get way more out of reading a chapter, or listening to a podcast, and then applying to my own life, than I do out of reading an entire book of advice and knowledge I'm never gonna use. Reading is great, but it's just one very small source of connection and discovery in life. You're going to grow way more as a person by learning how to engage and connect with other, manage conflict, work as a family, etc than you will by reading a book.

I don’t mind reading a quick news article or even DCUM for 5 min in line, but it doesn’t work for me with novels. I lose the emotional build up of the scene. It’s like watching 5 min of a movie and then coming back for another 5 min in a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

I cannot not read. It's like meditating or exercising for my mental health. I read daily, even on super crazy days I can find 20-30 minutes somewhere.

Infants/toddlers: read during their naptimes, and in the evening after they are in bed.

Elementary school: Mostly after they went to bed, with a firm bedtime. However, I did start adjusting my books a bit so I could find books that I could read aloud to them, while still enjoying. I'm not talking about reading Magic Tree House books. I just made sure what I was reading was appropriate for them. Harry Potter, Chris Colfer's books, or classics like White Fang, Charlotte's Web, etc. Of course I would rather be reading something dark or historical, but they still enjoyed me reading to them until they were pretty old. It really helped them calm down in the evening.

MS-HS: Schedules really get busy. I read in the car while waiting for them at practices. Of course they can now self manage at home, so I have time to read if they don't have a busy schedule that day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot not read. It's like meditating or exercising for my mental health. I read daily, even on super crazy days I can find 20-30 minutes somewhere.

Infants/toddlers: read during their naptimes, and in the evening after they are in bed.

Elementary school: Mostly after they went to bed, with a firm bedtime. However, I did start adjusting my books a bit so I could find books that I could read aloud to them, while still enjoying. I'm not talking about reading Magic Tree House books. I just made sure what I was reading was appropriate for them. Harry Potter, Chris Colfer's books, or classics like White Fang, Charlotte's Web, etc. Of course I would rather be reading something dark or historical, but they still enjoyed me reading to them until they were pretty old. It really helped them calm down in the evening.

MS-HS: Schedules really get busy. I read in the car while waiting for them at practices. Of course they can now self manage at home, so I have time to read if they don't have a busy schedule that day

I guess you didn’t work FTOH.

[Anonymous]

Audiobooks while walking dog, folding laundry, prepping dinner.

Reading after the kids are in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

This is either hyperbole or completely nutballs. Obviously you shouldn’t ignore your children to read a book, but neither should your children require your constant attention. I read when they’re playing together or with a friend, I read when I’m nursing, I read in the school pickup line or waiting at an activity, and I listen to audiobooks while I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. I have four kids, my house is clean and tidy, I cook from scratch, and I homeschooled all last year. I also read 104 books in 2020.

[Anonymous]

The dream, of course, is for the kids to read too. I’m halfway there and one day we will all sit companionably together in front of the fire with our books. I can’t wait.

[Anonymous]

If you limit phone time, suddenly finding time to read is a lot easier.

I first noticed this when my kid switched to being interested in chapter books. We would read together every night for 20 minutes or so and we’d finish a book in about a month. (Sometimes less or more depending on the book.)

It made me see that finding a little time would make a big difference. And reading alone is even faster. Decompressing in the evening with a little bit of reading time is not that different than scrolling through your phone. It’s about how you structure your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

This is either hyperbole or completely nutballs. Obviously you shouldn’t ignore your children to read a book, but neither should your children require your constant attention. I read when they’re playing together or with a friend, I read when I’m nursing, I read in the school pickup line or waiting at an activity, and I listen to audiobooks while I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. I have four kids, my house is clean and tidy, I cook from scratch, and I homeschooled all last year. I also read 104 books in 2020.

OP indicated that he/she has several young kids competing for her attention. It's normal to be on a lot more with several young children because someone inevitably needs your attention even if it's not all of them 100% of the time. No, it's not reasonable to expect them to leave him/her alone to read. Nursing is different because you're just sitting there anyway so it's a great time to read. OP has to give up something else if he wants to carve out time to read, and that something can't be parenting or his job. Surely you gave up something (or don't work?) if you read so much with young kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you balance solitude/reading with several young kids competing for your attention. I think reading is an important path to self-discovery and knowledge but sense everyone thinks I’m a useless/selfish tub of lard sitting on my ass reading.

You are lazy and neglectful if you're reading when your kids are awake and trying to get your attention. You're not entitled to escape parenthood by ducking into a book. I used to be an avid reader but haven't read a book since having kids. If you really want some time to read, then you need to wake up early and get everything else really organized so you can have time to read a little bit after they go to bed sometimes. Plus you'll have to give up any other hobby if your priority is reading. But you need to be realistic and not expect to do this every night because other more important stuff will come up if you have "several kids."

This is either hyperbole or completely nutballs. Obviously you shouldn’t ignore your children to read a book, but neither should your children require your constant attention. I read when they’re playing together or with a friend, I read when I’m nursing, I read in the school pickup line or waiting at an activity, and I listen to audiobooks while I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. I have four kids, my house is clean and tidy, I cook from scratch, and I homeschooled all last year. I also read 104 books in 2020.

OP indicated that he/she has several young kids competing for her attention. It's normal to be on a lot more with several young children because someone inevitably needs your attention even if it's not all of them 100% of the time. No, it's not reasonable to expect them to leave him/her alone to read. Nursing is different because you're just sitting there anyway so it's a great time to read. OP has to give up something else if he wants to carve out time to read, and that something can't be parenting or his job. Surely you gave up something (or don't work?) if you read so much with young kids?

You're right, I thought the PP I was replying to (not sure if that was you!) had added that because I didn't reread the OP. I apologize for my tone. It is indeed unreasonable to expect toddlers to leave you alone while you read, but even little kids have periods of entertaining themselves. I got some of my best reading done when I said "when you're done playing, we're going to do (not very pressing but not particularly fun errand) and my 3yo went and played by herself for 45 minutes." Obviously this gets harder the more kids you have, because someone is always skinning their knee or teasing their sister or wanting to know what's for dinner. And yes, I'm a SAHM. My husband has a lot less time to read than I do. He also has a lot more other hobbies, earplugs for an uninterrupted night of sleep, and regular exercise! It all evens out.

[Anonymous]

I get so much reading done in my car, or with headphones on while doing chores. Yeah. I listen to text to speech and audible and it's really helped me keep up with things.

I am going to try to read my 5 year old one of my books as part of his bed time routine though. I'm not sure he has the attention span to go through it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot not read. It's like meditating or exercising for my mental health. I read daily, even on super crazy days I can find 20-30 minutes somewhere.

Infants/toddlers: read during their naptimes, and in the evening after they are in bed.

Elementary school: Mostly after they went to bed, with a firm bedtime. However, I did start adjusting my books a bit so I could find books that I could read aloud to them, while still enjoying. I'm not talking about reading Magic Tree House books. I just made sure what I was reading was appropriate for them. Harry Potter, Chris Colfer's books, or classics like White Fang, Charlotte's Web, etc. Of course I would rather be reading something dark or historical, but they still enjoyed me reading to them until they were pretty old. It really helped them calm down in the evening.

MS-HS: Schedules really get busy. I read in the car while waiting for them at practices. Of course they can now self manage at home, so I have time to read if they don't have a busy schedule that day

I guess you didn’t work FTOH.

I’ve always worked full time, in an office. It’s important to me, and I make the time. In the same way people make time to exercise. It’s not hours per day, but it is every day.

Do you watch tv? Even parents of babies and toddlers have some time. How they fill it is up to them. I read.