How Important Are the Counselor's LOR? And the Parents Brag Sheet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unfortunate for kids at schools where the counselors are poor and/or overworked, but IMHO:

A strong recommendation from a known counselor/school (public or private) is the single best asset a student can have after the basic transcript. More than ECs, much more than the essay.

That's why the best EARLY college admission advice you can get is not what classes to take, or what ECs to do, it is very simple:

GET TO KNOW YOUR GUIDANCE/COLLEGE COUNSELOR, AND GET THEM TO LIKE YOU.

I'm the PP who wrote that I think DC's interest in the college counselor as well as good manners may have helped in getting into a reach ED.

good manners, huh. will be sure to add that to my sheet.

[Anonymous]

This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child. Parents should have zero involvement with this. Tell your kid to find someone that knows them. Absolutely unethical for the counselor to even ask for such a thing and I would tell her that too. I once had a boss ask me to write my own letter and she’d sign it, I told her that was not ethical and found someone else. You should do the same. The college doesn’t want to hear what you think, quite the opposite actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child. Parents should have zero involvement with this. Tell your kid to find someone that knows them. Absolutely unethical for the counselor to even ask for such a thing and I would tell her that too. I once had a boss ask me to write my own letter and she’d sign it, I told her that was not ethical and found someone else. You should do the same. The college doesn’t want to hear what you think, quite the opposite actually.

Lol we’ll if you’re all bent up about it being “unethical” you’ve got difficult days ahead. Very much standard practice among school AND private counselors. But it’s not the letter, it’s just info parents think should be highlighted which any counselor can ignore but could potentially be useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child. Parents should have zero involvement with this. Tell your kid to find someone that knows them. Absolutely unethical for the counselor to even ask for such a thing and I would tell her that too. I once had a boss ask me to write my own letter and she’d sign it, I told her that was not ethical and found someone else. You should do the same. The college doesn’t want to hear what you think, quite the opposite actually.

Where have you been? Did you go to college? Your counselor wrote these letters when you applied. How dim you not remember? Or, perhaps you applied to schools that didn’t have recommendations? Every school I applied to had them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child. Parents should have zero involvement with this. Tell your kid to find someone that knows them. Absolutely unethical for the counselor to even ask for such a thing and I would tell her that too. I once had a boss ask me to write my own letter and she’d sign it, I told her that was not ethical and found someone else. You should do the same. The college doesn’t want to hear what you think, quite the opposite actually.

You clearly don't have your student in an overcrowded MCPS HS, where each counselor has hundreds of students and turnover is frequent. It is possible your child's HS Counselor has only been working at the HS a few months or weeks and doesn't know your child at all. The brag sheet helps these overworked, underpaid counselors write the rec letters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mine's due today. been struggling for two days to put anything meaningful... and it's made me realize i don't know my child very much to write about "...an anecdote (or anecdotes) from your child's high school years that best reflect your child's character, integrity, compassion for others, and/or maturity..." or "...events or experiences you feel have significantly influenced your student..."

I think I know my kid quite well and I am still having trouble with this part. And I didn't with the previous brag sheet. Current junior just doesn't happen to have useful anecdotes from the high school years.

+1
I have a kid who is a great student, involved in extracurriculars and all. No bad grades I need to explain. No growth in maturity about school I can talk about (was always pretty responsible and diligent). No home situations I need to explain in particular. Very hard to fill these forms out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mine's due today. been struggling for two days to put anything meaningful... and it's made me realize i don't know my child very much to write about "...an anecdote (or anecdotes) from your child's high school years that best reflect your child's character, integrity, compassion for others, and/or maturity..." or "...events or experiences you feel have significantly influenced your student..."

I think I know my kid quite well and I am still having trouble with this part. And I didn't with the previous brag sheet. Current junior just doesn't happen to have useful anecdotes from the high school years.

+1
I have a kid who is a great student, involved in extracurriculars and all. No bad grades I need to explain. No growth in maturity about school I can talk about (was always pretty responsible and diligent). No home situations I need to explain in particular. Very hard to fill these forms out.

It’s hard! Here’s how to maximize the utility of the brag sheet: pick one thing your DC will highlight in the Common App and give a single anecdote. Something human and tangible. It’s gives the CC something to talk about, and it echoes the other parts of your DC’s app. It’s helps build a consistent story that your DC is crafting for the application.

Colleges don’t want well rounded kids. They want a well rounded class made of pointy kids. How is your kid pointy? I don’t know, but you better know what 3 points describe your DC. Else the Common App is gonna be a boring mess. Wasted opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I personally think my DS got the boost from counselor recommendation for UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's exactly why you need the brag sheet - if your counselor doesn't interact much with your kid (and with 200+ kids per counselor who would), your writing will help the counselor to write a better LOR. Plus you can put things there that the counselor wouldn't know otherwise, e.g. the kid is the oldest of five and lots of his time goes to help raise his younger siblings.

Exactly. Fill it out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child. Parents should have zero involvement with this. Tell your kid to find someone that knows them. Absolutely unethical for the counselor to even ask for such a thing and I would tell her that too. I once had a boss ask me to write my own letter and she’d sign it, I told her that was not ethical and found someone else. You should do the same. The college doesn’t want to hear what you think, quite the opposite actually.

You must not have gone through senior year with your kid(s) yet. The senior packet is full of things the parents have to fill out - chief among them is the very lengthy parent questionnaire. Parents are expected to thoughtfully and thoroughly fill out this questionnaire so the counselor has some idea of who the kid is they will be writing the recommendation for. Parents have a HUGE involvement in this aspect of the college application process. This is how it's done in FCPS, and probably most other public school districts - probably private schools as well. Get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mine's due today. been struggling for two days to put anything meaningful... and it's made me realize i don't know my child very much to write about "...an anecdote (or anecdotes) from your child's high school years that best reflect your child's character, integrity, compassion for others, and/or maturity..." or "...events or experiences you feel have significantly influenced your student..."

I think I know my kid quite well and I am still having trouble with this part. And I didn't with the previous brag sheet. Current junior just doesn't happen to have useful anecdotes from the high school years.

+1
I have a kid who is a great student, involved in extracurriculars and all. No bad grades I need to explain. No growth in maturity about school I can talk about (was always pretty responsible and diligent). No home situations I need to explain in particular. Very hard to fill these forms out.

+2
I had to rack my brain for anything interesting or unusual to talk about. It was much harder than it sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mine's due today. been struggling for two days to put anything meaningful... and it's made me realize i don't know my child very much to write about "...an anecdote (or anecdotes) from your child's high school years that best reflect your child's character, integrity, compassion for others, and/or maturity..." or "...events or experiences you feel have significantly influenced your student..."

I think I know my kid quite well and I am still having trouble with this part. And I didn't with the previous brag sheet. Current junior just doesn't happen to have useful anecdotes from the high school years.

+1
I have a kid who is a great student, involved in extracurriculars and all. No bad grades I need to explain. No growth in maturity about school I can talk about (was always pretty responsible and diligent). No home situations I need to explain in particular. Very hard to fill these forms out.

+2
I had to rack my brain for anything interesting or unusual to talk about. It was much harder than it sounds.

I know! I should have let my husband do it. He is more of a braggart. I worry about my kid’s rec!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole idea is ridiculous. Nobody should be writing a recommendation unless they are familiar with your child.

You must not have gone through senior year with your kid(s) yet. Parents have a HUGE involvement in this aspect of the college application process. This is how it's done in FCPS, and probably most other public school districts - probably private schools as well. Get used to it.

Yes, in private too (one who graduated public, one who is a junior in private, the process is the SAME).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:mine's due today. been struggling for two days to put anything meaningful... and it's made me realize i don't know my child very much to write about "...an anecdote (or anecdotes) from your child's high school years that best reflect your child's character, integrity, compassion for others, and/or maturity..." or "...events or experiences you feel have significantly influenced your student..."

I think I know my kid quite well and I am still having trouble with this part. And I didn't with the previous brag sheet. Current junior just doesn't happen to have useful anecdotes from the high school years.

+1
I have a kid who is a great student, involved in extracurriculars and all. No bad grades I need to explain. No growth in maturity about school I can talk about (was always pretty responsible and diligent). No home situations I need to explain in particular. Very hard to fill these forms out.

+2
I had to rack my brain for anything interesting or unusual to talk about. It was much harder than it sounds.

Maybe try just telling it honestly? I wrote about how my kid isn't the one drawing attention to herself, but she dives in deeply to be a behind the scenes on-line expert. I think it’s more believable when you draw a contrast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is unfortunate for kids at schools where the counselors are poor and/or overworked, but IMHO:

A strong recommendation from a known counselor/school (public or private) is the single best asset a student can have after the basic transcript. More than ECs, much more than the essay.

That's why the best EARLY college admission advice you can get is not what classes to take, or what ECs to do, it is very simple:

GET TO KNOW YOUR GUIDANCE/COLLEGE COUNSELOR, AND GET THEM TO LIKE YOU.

I'm the PP who wrote that I think DC's interest in the college counselor as well as good manners may have helped in getting into a reach ED.

good manners, huh. will be sure to add that to my sheet.

Whatev. I'm the PP who wrote that DC's college counselor, who is also the program director, as well as admin in the office sent unsolicited emails where they complimented both DCs in their interactions with their office over the last two years. One DC got into their very reach ED. So being polite and thoughtful - rather than snarky and treating the staff as the help - may have benefits even if you do not appear to value it.