Friends without children

[Anonymous]

We are the first of our friends to have kids. Since our son was born last December I have realized that we are no longer invited to do things with out friends. I have told them to invite us and we will get a babysitter but now we are just left off on purpose I think. When do I give up on them totally? If I do that how do I go about finding new parent friends!!!

[Anonymous]

Why not invite your friends out and tell them you'll get a sitter? If they say no, give up on them. If they accept, then go out and have a good time. Make an effort to talk about things other than your son. Then wait and see if they reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

I have a 5 yo and a lot of my friend don't have kids. Do you think that you have changed in your interactions with friends since your baby was born? For example, do you talk about your baby a lot and not ask your friends about important things in their lives? It is hard to balance being a parent with being a friend, and I often make a point of thanking my friends without kids for their understanding and generosity with me (e.g. meeting me for coffee near my house). I don't think you need to give up on them. But... that being said, fill out the ranks with some parent friends too!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies ladies! I have tried all of that, I don't talk about my son at all with them unless asked. We meet them out as much as possible with or without our son. We have really tried a lot to save these relationships but it seems to be all one sided. When should I throw in the towel and give up on our friendships?

[Anonymous]

12:33 poster here. I don't think we can tell you when to throw in the towel. You need to figure out for yourself when it seems to be too much and not worth it. It sounds to me like you are almost there.

[Anonymous]

12:33 here. One more question. Did you ever ask your friends if something is up? You might want to talk to them about it.