Already miss our neighbors

[Anonymous]

So we finally got a contract on a house. It's in a great neighborhood, good commutes, good school and we can afford it (okay its at our limit but I'm okay with that) but instead of thrilled I am so sad to be leaving our amazing block of neighbors. The new house is only a mile or so away but we won't see eachother often. The new place is on a busy street so there's no chance it will be the same. (probably hence why we could actually buy it). Someone provide me with some platitudes that we are doing the right thing, please. FTR we bid on several houses in our current neighborhood and have lost. But I keep wondering...what if?

[Anonymous]

Not gonna say it will be ok, but if you really want to maintain a relationship with those neighbors, you need to put real effort into it. Make sure said neighbors know you want to continue seeing them -- even if it only happens on weekends.

I live on an awesome block that translates into random playdates or BBQs in someone's driveway on zero notice. If one of them moved away, I wouldn't assume they didn't want to see us anymore, but the reality is out of sight out of mind. Don't let that be the case. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear ya. We have had great neighbors in the past, and it can be heartbreaking to leave them. To anyone who does I would tell them - make sure you have to! Otherwise, stay away from the passive aggressive crazies with too much time on their hands, and you should be fine. They are not common, but they can be a nuisance - if you let them.

We stay in touch with our old neighbors and they still invite us to their parties - including block parties, so we get to see everyone. It really is nice to stay in touch with people who are worthwhile. It is not difficult to stay in touch with people as you choose these days.

[Anonymous]

I am looking for a neighborhood like a couple of you have described--friendly, spontaneous get together. Where are these neighborhoods?? OP we just moved from such a neighborhood 4000 miles away : ( What I would give to be only a mile away from our great friends. Now we live in a "dead" neighborhood but we are looking to buy a house--just not sure where the good, fun, close communities are.

[Anonymous]

Our neighborhood is very friendly in Town of Kensington -- north side near St. Paul Park. The park is a central part of the neighborhood so people meet there and get together randomly (and at their houses but you can develop relationships at the park). So you may be looking in another state or whatever but I'm thinking that maybe looking for a neighborhood with a really nice neighborhood park (not a huge one that draws from all over but one that draws from the immediate neighborhood so that you meet your neighbors) might be a good sign for a neighborhood? Also, we have sidewalks and the houses are fairly close together. I think that makes a big difference and affects how easily you meet people. Also, that may play a role in self-selection -- did people buy into the neighborhood for privacy or for community. So that's something to look for. I also think you can work to build a sense of community where there isn't one but it's harder.

[Anonymous]

We moved about a year ago. And we had some really awesome neighbors on the street we were moving away from.

But you know, we've already met a couple of really great neighbors in the new hood, and we've kept in touch with the old neighbors, even though we don't see each other as much.

So, don't worry. And congratulations on the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we finally got a contract on a house. It's in a great neighborhood, good commutes, good school and we can afford it (okay its at our limit but I'm okay with that) but instead of thrilled I am so sad to be leaving our amazing block of neighbors. The new house is only a mile or so away but we won't see eachother often. The new place is on a busy street so there's no chance it will be the same. (probably hence why we could actually buy it). Someone provide me with some platitudes that we are doing the right thing, please. FTR we bid on several houses in our current neighborhood and have lost. But I keep wondering...what if?

Sorry, we did the same thing two years ago (moved about five miles away) and while we know we did the right thing, living on the busier street means you're on the edge of your new neighborhood and we just don't know or really care for our new neighbors all that well. The old neighborhood was more of a community -- babies grew up to be elementary school kids, and about eight families basically lived in each other's houses. It was the kind of place where your child could walk into someone else's house without knocking and they'd be welcome with open arms. Here, people are more reserved, and, really, living on the busy street and on the EDGE means we're often forgotten. It's taken 2 years to get to know people well, and that's mostly through the schools.