Anyone else on bedrest?

[Anonymous]

I'm 30 weeks and after experiencing some preterm labor am now on bedrest. It's sooooo tough! I was working full-time as an attorney going 80 MPH and now am down to less than 5 MPH with 6+ weeks to go.

I would love to hear from others in the same boat to see how you're doing, or anyone who has suggestions on ways to keep busy. Everyone seems to think it's so "fun" and "relaxing," but it's actually stressing me out and making me depressed!

[Anonymous]

I had bedrest with two pregnancies (and I'm an attorney doing litigation at a big DC firm). I was a bit more prepared the second time -- I set up a wireless network in my house and was able to do quite a bit of work on my laptop. I found that helped the days pass (and of course you have to shop on-line for the remaining baby things you need!). Upgrade to fast internet service so you can handle large documents, etc. It's actually a great time to get projects done that require a large block of time with no interruption (typically impossible to do). It's also a good time to do nonbillable work, like write that article you've been meaning to for so long (there certainly won't be time after the baby is born). If your firm has pro bono opportunities that you can do remotely, sometimes that is a great fit too.

Other than that I read lots of books (ask your friends for their beach favorites from the summer), did some knitting, and watched some movies. The hardest thing is not being able to get ready for the baby the way you thought you would in the last few weeks, but really, the baby doesn't care if the nursery is perfect -- your life will be much easier the longer that baby stays inside of you, so take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

I was on bedrest form my first preg. because of low amniotic fluid. I worked in a high pace work environment and interacted with animals (my favorite part) so I was soooo board and lonely being confined to bedrest. Like you, OP, I was zinging around non stop and on my feet for literally 6+ hours before being able to sit down (and even then it was data entry so I never really got any breaks).

Anyway, to make a long story short, I was lucky in that I didn't have to go to the hospital. I was able to stay at home on the couch. I memorized the daytime tv lineup (including Baby Diaries, Bringing Home Baby, and other TLC shows to scare me silly), but got bored of that quickly. I knew laying on the couch was best for the baby and that kept me motivated to rest and drink a ton of water.

In the grand scheme of things though, it was so minor and such a small blip on the radar. In fact, I actually forgot about it until your post reminded me that, oh yea, I've been there and done that too. So hang in there. Watch movies, try a soduku puzzle, take up cross stitch, read (plenty of book recommendations in the DCUM archives), and know what you are doing is for the baby.

[Anonymous]

I was on bedrest for my first pregnancy for 14 weeks. It sucked! I also am a lawyer, and I ended up working full time from home. It actually was my saving grace, because it made the days go by so much faster. I actually worked so much I barely had time to watch DVDs, read, etc. I did, however, pass the time by eating A LOT so be careful- I ended up gaining a lot of weight during that pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks all for the suggestions and input. Those of you who worked from home are so lucky! My office is refusing to let me do so, despite my pleas and having PLENTY of uninterrupted time. So much for a family-friendly work environment. Hate to have to go the ADA route, but who knows. I will do what I need to do for my little one on the way!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you've gone on short-term disability while on bedrest, a strict interpretation does indeed prohibit working. I went on leave from a major corporation 2 weeks before my son was born and was forbidden from doing anything to finish up some projects, which I really wanted to do irrespective of my pay status. In fact, told I'd be fired if I sent a single email. At the time I was livid and interpreted this diktat as an effort to try to strong arm me into trooping my ginormous uncomfortable self into the office... but have since learned that it was mandated by my STD status (which was the only mechanism for maternity leave at the company, and telecommuting was prohibited.) You may need to talk with your firm and your doctors about ways to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

I was on bed rest starting at 24 weeks so can relate. I was able to work full time so that made the time go by a little faster. I ahd an 18 month old son home also which was both a blessing (saw him more) and a curse (sould not do anything for / with him) which frustrated us both.
There are a number of things you can do from home -
Shopping,
Internet,
I ordered netflex,
First child's baby book,
Read books I always wanted but never could get around to,
Took online classes,
Volunteered (contact some agencies and see if they have an short term projects you could help out with)
I also spent (too much) time on this forum and on www.sidelines.org - this is a forum for moms on bed rest

Good luck - even the 14 weeks seems like a blink on the eye after 5+ months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you've gone on short-term disability while on bedrest, a strict interpretation does indeed prohibit working. I went on leave from a major corporation 2 weeks before my son was born and was forbidden from doing anything to finish up some projects, which I really wanted to do irrespective of my pay status. In fact, told I'd be fired if I sent a single email. At the time I was livid and interpreted this diktat as an effort to try to strong arm me into trooping my ginormous uncomfortable self into the office... but have since learned that it was mandated by my STD status (which was the only mechanism for maternity leave at the company, and telecommuting was prohibited.) You may need to talk with your firm and your doctors about ways to deal with this.

Yes! I second this comment. I was also on bedrest and it was a double edge sword. I had so much quiet time and was bored out of my mind I thought this is the perfect time to get work done, but couldn't because of the STD (short term disability, not sexually transmitted disease ) "restrictions". Even phone calls to clients and other passive activities (email) were prohibited. Double check with your HR dept, but working while on STD is usually not allowed as much as it would be ideal.

[Anonymous]

Having been at a law firm on short term disability I can third (I believe it's third) the check with your HR. It may not be that they don't want you to work, it's just that they can't and can run into serious problems with their insurance company. I also represented insurance companies and know how stringent they can be on these arrangements. Mine wasn't for pregnancy- appendix reputured- but it was the same set up. For the first two weeks I was on bedrest, I did work and bill hours. This really messed up the STD reporting for the firm. I was in a satellite office with a new HR person who just didn't know the ropes of what to do. After she was yelled at by our main office, I was told no work at all. Couldn't even send out an e-mail that could be interpreted as work. Trust me, the partner I worked for no doubt wanted me billing, HR wouldn't let him.

[Anonymous]

OP here again! Thanks all for the tips and advice on how to manage bedrest. To those who wrote in regarding STD...I am not on STD (it's not offered at my office, believe it or not). Basically, I am being forced to use all of my accrued vacation and sick time while I am on bedrest, and they aren't letting me work at all from home, despite my pleas.

It's frustrating, considering others work from home all the time...but for some reason, they are saying no to me doing it. I think they want to force me to exhaust my paid vacation and sick time so I can then go on unpaid FMLA and get back to work sooner. Pretty bad in these times...

So, I'm trying to keep busy and really do appreciate the advice re: hobbies, shopping (poor DH, yikes!), etc.

[Anonymous]

OP - assuming you want to continue working at the same place long term, you might want to be careful about your approach because you might end up creating a tense work environment between you and your managers and the folks in the office who might have to assist in your ability to work from home. Are you sure it's all worth it in the long run just so you can save more of your leave for maternity? Also keep in mind the potential stress it might bring between you and your spouse. Everything okay there? I sense that you might be over-reacting or jumping to conclusions. Your suggestion about the motivations of your office don't sound credible. As a result of the stress you are under and the amount of time you have on your hands, do you think you might be misinterpreting? Not every job, and not every legal job (mine for instance) lends itself to working from home, or at least not all the time as required on bed rest. If that's the case, it isn't fair to expect your employer to allow you to work from home just becase you don't want to use your leave. After all, isn't that why you have paid leave to start with -- for situatins when you can't be at work? At least your office is allowing you to take significant time off without consequence; unfortunately, some firms I'm told are not as sensitive and frown on anyone taking significant time off because of its business impact. I'd really recommend that you rest as much as you can, prepare for the arrival of your baby (like decorating ), and just basically focusing on your baby-to-be. That's what I'm doing on my doctor-ordered bedrest. And my law office and I concur that working at home for the length of bedrest won't work well for anyone so I'm doing a few things here and there, which I'm totally fine with. Am actually starting to feel better, but I'd prefer to stay home until my pregnancy and my medical support says bedrest until pregnancy. What's your condition? Can you at least drive and walk a little? If so, there are a lot of bargains everywhere because of the down economy. There's a totally cute French baby store in Tysons; the name escapes me. Someone help! I hate it when I forget the places I've been. Anyway, best of luck OP! I wish you a quick recovery.

[Anonymous]

to the 20:17 poster, this is the OP. While I can appreciate your comments, and your individual situation, perhaps you're in a better financial situation than I am and can afford to take more unpaid time off to go shopping at Tysons, etc. Unfortunately, I am not in that position, and the nature of the work I do can easily be accomplished at home (it's drafting standard IP contracts). So, yes, it's VERY worth it to me to pick this battle now, rather than going shopping, so I can spend more time with my baby after the birth rather than sticking him with a nanny. If my work didn't lend itself to working from home, then I wouldn't be pushing the issue with my firm, and would concede as you have. As for my spouse, he is extremely supportive in my decision to want to work; no tension there whatsoever! He thinks the whole situation is ridiculous, and is also an attorney and agrees with me 110%. I am on fairly strict bedrest and am not able to do much of anything, so shopping and walking and decorating aren't options for me. You're lucky if you can do that. What bothers me the most is that the managing partner is not even willing to negotiate the issue with me, so HR will not consider anything at all. Of course, the managing partner teleworks ALL the time... it's just disparate treatment, IMO.

[Anonymous]

I was on bedrest starting at 26 weeks with my first and it was very challenging. I am also a lawyer working at fast-paced firm in DC, and it was incredibly difficult to put the brakes on. I had to be on the Terb pump which made working very difficult (side-effects), so I wasn't able to work from home. I spent the time corresponding with friends, watching various TV series on DVD that I had not seen before, and taking up a hobby (knitting). I won't lie... it was grueling at the time and I was miserable and depressed. But I will say that even though I was on bedrest for 10 weeks, the weeks started to fly by after the first or second week home (once I started to get a routine). And visits from friends made all the difference in my day. And now, looking back on it, it doesn't seem that bad (though I really resented comments from people at the time that it would be so great to have to be ordered to sit around). So I can say that someday you will look back on this time and it won't seem as bad as I know it feels now. Hang in there. It's worth it in the end, when you have a happy, healthy baby!

[Anonymous]

OP- your situation sounds similar to mine. I'm now 31 weeks pregnant and have been on bedrest since 28 weeks. I am a government attorney (so no short term disbility) and have been trying to get to work from home more frequently, but it's definitely been difficult to get approval to do so. My office is nice enough to allow me to work one day per week now (thankfully), and am trying to get more, since I'm pretty bored and really want to get things done so I can keep my mind sharp. I think some offices are just more flexible / progressive than others for whatever reason. And there are always people who have abused telework privileges who make it harder for those who do not.

I'm sorry to hear your having such a tough time. My hubby and I are doing the best we can, too, financially. Neither one of us was planning for this to happen, but that's part of life and pregnancy, I guess...full of surprises. But I understand how its hard to enjoy the time off, when you didn't want to take it, and weren't anticipating complications. There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. Perhaps you can speak to HR in a main office if you're in satellite office? But be forwarned that this could cause more undue stress in your life. People with misconceptions are often very difficult to convince otherwise.

On the days that I am not working, I am catching up on reading all the books I can order from Amazon, and look forward to receiving new Netflix movies. Netflix also has movies you can watch online, which is nice, too. You can also pre-order your birth announcement envelopes and address them. That's my next twiddle-my-thumbs project It's also been good time for me to bond with my pets who usually are home alone all day. They like the extra attention, especially since that will change once the baby arrives. Baby's health is the most important thing!