Tell me what to expect at a bris

[Anonymous]

I've never been to one before but will be attending one soon after the birth of a good friend's baby. How awkward is this thing going to be for the only non-Jews in the room?

[Anonymous]

Nobody? Nobody out there is going to tell me what happens at one of these? I feel dumb asking my friend and don't trust Wikipedia or other nonsense like that.

[Anonymous]

Just don't watch the procedure.

[Anonymous]

There will be a quick service but nothing formal. Some blessings and maybe some words or readings and then the snip-snip. Yes, the snip is part of the ritual. Be prepared for that. Stand in the back if you want. Be respectful, but don't feel the need to participate in anything. Just be silent if you don't know the prayers, wear a yarmulke (your DH) if you want but don't feel you have to.

Food will likely be served. I would bring a gift. Just like any other new baby gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will be a quick service but nothing formal. Some blessings and maybe some words or readings and then the snip-snip. Yes, the snip is part of the ritual. Be prepared for that. Stand in the back if you want. Be respectful, but don't feel the need to participate in anything. Just be silent if you don't know the prayers, wear a yarmulke (your DH) if you want but don't feel you have to.

Food will likely be served. I would bring a gift. Just like any other new baby gift.

Yeah Jews generally don't do baby showers and instead have a bris or baby naming (for girl) to welcome the child to the world. If it is a very religious home, there may be a little basket of kippot at the entrance. You don't have to wear one. Just stand there quietly while it happens. There will be food. Probably bagels.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! See, I had NO IDEA a gift was standard or expected. My friend didn't have a shower because this is her 2nd child (we met several months after her first was born), so there was no shower. So the kind of gift you would bring to a shower is appropriate here, right? It's not like a baptism where people bring religious-themed gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't watch the procedure.

I would pass out. I'll be in the very, very back. With my eyes closed.

Tell me - how much is this baby going to scream? I just need to prepare myself. As a gentile, this all happened at the hospital out of my sight, so I could be blissful in my ignorance.

[Anonymous]

My son cried out (like a scream cry) for a few seconds and was very easily settled in a minute or two. The mohel used a topical anesthetic that he had me apply an hour earlier.

[Anonymous]

The baby will scream as much during the procedure as he screams during a regular diaper change! It takes like 30 seconds, really! And unless u stand right up front, u won't even see it. The man who does the procedure is super quick, and will give the baby immediately after to his uncle or other important family member to hold him, and he'll probably also have a pacifier w a little sugar water to calm him too. And yes, a gift that us bring to a shower would also be appropriate for a bris.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, ladies, seriously. Feeling so much better about this now. Anything else I should know? No kidding, my DH and I will be the only non-Jews in the room. I dread making a huge ass of myself.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to bring a gift. We had a very small one and I don't think anyone brought anything. You could bring flowers or something nice for the meal (bottle of sparkline wine). That being said, obviously if you bring a small gift no one will look at you like you have 2 heads.

[Anonymous]

Tell the parents "Mazel Tov!" when you see them.

You'll be fine. No one will expect you to know anything. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

I was the only non-Jew at one recently and it was fine. Everything was very nice and a lot like attending a baptism. They will be happy you are there to celebrate with them, like any parent would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the parents "Mazel Tov!" when you see them.

You'll be fine. No one will expect you to know anything. Have fun!

eh. Just say congratulations. No need to fake it.

I've never seen gifts at a bris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the parents "Mazel Tov!" when you see them.

You'll be fine. No one will expect you to know anything. Have fun!

eh. Just say congratulations. No need to fake it.

I've never seen gifts at a bris.

Thanks. OP here and frankly I feel like I jerk trying to say that. And I feel like everyone else thinks I'm a jerk, too. Or just trying too hard. I think I'll just ask my friend about gifts. We'll be getting them something anyway, because they are close friends and that's what you do. I guess it's just a matter of when do we give it to them. I'll let her preferences determine that. Appreciate everyone's input. I've learned a lot. . .this bris is the final frontier!