Tall daughters, short son

[Anonymous]

I have three teens/tweens: 17 y/o daughter, 13 y/o son, 12 y/o daughter. My daughters are on the tall side my 17 y/o is 5'9 and the 12 y/o is 5'5. However, my 13 year old son is only 4'11. I'm 5'1 and DH is 6'3. My son hates that fact that his little sister is taller than him. I tried to explain to him that girls hit their growth spurt before boys do, but of course that doesn't make him feel any better. It doesn't help that my daughters are always picking him up like he's a baby (which he hates). What can I do to help boost my son's self esteem? I hate that this has him feeling down about himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three teens/tweens: 17 y/o daughter, 13 y/o son, 12 y/o daughter. My daughters are on the tall side my 17 y/o is 5'9 and the 12 y/o is 5'5. However, my 13 year old son is only 4'11. I'm 5'1 and DH is 6'3. My son hates that fact that his little sister is taller than him. I tried to explain to him that girls hit their growth spurt before boys do, but of course that doesn't make him feel any better. It doesn't help that my daughters are always picking him up like he's a baby (which he hates). What can I do to help boost my son's self esteem? I hate that this has him feeling down about himself.

Hang him upside down on the monkey bars.

[Anonymous]

Encourage him to drink whole milk, and explain that his time will come. Look at the boys a grade and two grades ahead of him. They shot up. He will too.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, tell your daughters who "pick him up like a baby" to stop. He's obviously upset enough about this. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

I would focus on the things he excels at, on the activities that give him high self-esteem. His sisters may always be taller than him, so I wouldn't say stuff about how if you eat well, you will grow. I'd ask my daughters not to pick him up, and take away a privilege when they do. There are negatives to being a tall girl, so you might want to point that out to him. Everyone has parts of physical parts of themselves they'd like to change. If he were tall, he might start obsessing about the size of his nose. If he were balding prematurely, he might worry about that more than his height.

[Anonymous]

I have two DS's in high school. One is 6'1", the other 5'6". DS2 might still grow more (bone plates aren't closed) but no guarantees. I told him that all the research shows that men who are short (in his range, not 5'0") have no significant psychological issues. They get through high school and they get over it. He didn't love me in that moment, but it has helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, tell your daughters who "pick him up like a baby" to stop. He's obviously upset enough about this. Poor kid.

I've told them and even punished them for doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, tell your daughters who "pick him up like a baby" to stop. He's obviously upset enough about this. Poor kid.

Do you really need us to tell you that this has to stop? Forget the height thing - it is just an invasion of personal space that is not appropriate long, long before 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Encourage him to drink whole milk, and explain that his time will come. Look at the boys a grade and two grades ahead of him. They shot up. He will too.

Drinking whole milk will not help. Stupid advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two DS's in high school. One is 6'1", the other 5'6". DS2 might still grow more (bone plates aren't closed) but no guarantees. I told him that all the research shows that men who are short (in his range, not 5'0") have no significant psychological issues. They get through high school and they get over it. He didn't love me in that moment, but it has helped.

look at most doctors...under 5'10. Tell him that.

[Anonymous]

Have him talk to men about their growth spurts when they were young. My husband grew 6 inches in one summer when he was 12. Some good mentoring from men will have your son deal with all the females he has to live with!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him talk to men about their growth spurts when they were young. My husband grew 6 inches in one summer when he was 12. Some good mentoring from men will have your son deal with all the females he has to live with!

How would this help? If her 13 year old is only 4'11, he's NOT going to hit a growth spurt young. He'll hit one eventually, but it will be later than most boys his age and if he's only 4'11 now, his growth spurt is unlikely to be a monster 15 incher that catches him up with the tall guys. He's probably going to be very average in height- 5'7, 5'8. I know because my 15 year old stepson is only 5'1 and has gotten several bone scans to make sure his bones are not overly small for his age (they're not). We've basically been told "He'll eventually grow, he's just going to be a really late bloomer" and he likely will not top out anywhere near 6'2 like my DH is and can probably hope for about 5'9 at best. He's just going to take after his mom's side of the family (short) and that's that. Talking to other men about how they magically grew at 6 inches at 12 years old wouldn't make a bit of difference to him because that's not what's going to happen for him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two DS's in high school. One is 6'1", the other 5'6". DS2 might still grow more (bone plates aren't closed) but no guarantees. I told him that all the research shows that men who are short (in his range, not 5'0") have no significant psychological issues. They get through high school and they get over it. He didn't love me in that moment, but it has helped.

I actually think there is a fair amount of research that short men have it thougher and make less money. That having been said, it's very common for boys to be shorter than girls in middle school. Your youngest will catch up. I agree not to let DD's treat him like their pillow pet.

[Anonymous]

DH loves being less than 6'. Every time we get on an airplane and see men struggling in their seats to get comfortable, he smiles and says "one more reason its great not to be tall", every time he's looking for something in the back of the closet or under the sink. There are lots of times when being less tall comes in handy. You need to reach a top shelf? Get a ladder. You can't shrink to fit into tighter spaces. And lots of shorter men make tons of $.

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Encourage him to drink whole milk, and explain that his time will come. Look at the boys a grade and two grades ahead of him. They shot up. He will too.

Drinking whole milk will not help. Stupid advice.

You mean the commercials lied???