Attorneys - Tell me about your embarrassing / bungled court experience!

[Anonymous]

I am very nervous for my first jury trial and I need a little humor and encouragement. So please share!

[Anonymous]

I once sat at the wrong counsel's table in a roomful of attorneys that I know well and before a Judge that I know well. Another time, my DVD, which contained my expert's de bene esse depositon, would not play on the Court's DVD player. Turns out the court reporter sent me the kind of DVD that plays on a computer even though the company knew I needed it for court and the court uses regular DVD players.

[Anonymous]

Show up and you'll be ahead of the lawyer once who failed to appear at a hearing I was involved in because he didn't know what to say....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once sat at the wrong counsel's table in a roomful of attorneys that I know well and before a Judge that I know well. Another time, my DVD, which contained my expert's de bene esse depositon, would not play on the Court's DVD player. Turns out the court reporter sent me the kind of DVD that plays on a computer even though the company knew I needed it for court and the court uses regular DVD players.

There is no difference between the 2. Or were you sent a CD?

[Anonymous]

I prepared for my oral argument extensively and had all my notes pasted to the inside covers of a very cool designer aluminum binder. When it was my turn to speak I put down my binder on the hardwood podium KAKANK! went over the microphone. I opened it up KLANK! and notice it was upside down KLANK! KLUNK! KLANK-KLUNK!! . . . "May it please the court ..."

[Anonymous]

One time I had a trial and my mom decided to come watch. Opposing counsel and older gentleman objected to her presence because he thought she was a witness and I had to tell the Judge and counsel she was my mom.

Once during jury selection opposing counsel challenged a witness claiming he was "making eyes at me." Since it wasn't a challenge for cause I had to argue to the Judge the juror was not doing whatever opposing counsel was arguing the male juror was doing- so basically I had to argue the random male juror was not attracted to me- a young cute attorney - in front of another older male judge.

Once I was in a deposition and there were minors with attornys, parents... basically a full room. I was feeling hot and I asked to take a break. One of the male attorneys was being a dbag and said no... in a miniute. Well 45 minutes later guess what I passed out forcing a break- they called the firdepartment and it must have been a slow day because like 20 firemen in full gear showed up. I was fine by then but they made me go to the hospital to get checked out. So embarrassing.... at least I got breaks whenever I asked for them from then on! It was my first deposition and I was afraid to take off my jacket or get up and walk out. Now I know better....

[Anonymous]

Oh one more, I have tons- I really am an idiot- its not really a trial story but one day I was walking down the street in heels and I fell and twisted my ankle and fell down. It was ridiculous. I didn't think anyone saw me. The next day I went to Court to argue a motion and when I walked into the full courtroom the Judge said Ms. ___ I am surprised to see you here after that fall you took yesterday I figured it would be a few weeks.... that looked like it hurt.

I worked in a smaller, collegial legal community with awesome attorneys and judges before I moved here. I really do miss it sometimes

Good luck OP, although I have moved on- some of the best and worst times were at trial. Just be prepared, do your best and be flexible. I am hoping someone else has some stories that make me laugh too!

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thanks for that guys! It just is a good reminder not to take yourself too seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One time I had a trial and my mom decided to come watch. Opposing counsel and older gentleman objected to her presence because he thought she was a witness and I had to tell the Judge and counsel she was my mom.

Once during jury selection opposing counsel challenged a witness claiming he was "making eyes at me." Since it wasn't a challenge for cause I had to argue to the Judge the juror was not doing whatever opposing counsel was arguing the male juror was doing- so basically I had to argue the random male juror was not attracted to me- a young cute attorney - in front of another older male judge.

Once I was in a deposition and there were minors with attornys, parents... basically a full room. I was feeling hot and I asked to take a break. One of the male attorneys was being a dbag and said no... in a miniute. Well 45 minutes later guess what I passed out forcing a break- they called the firdepartment and it must have been a slow day because like 20 firemen in full gear showed up. I was fine by then but they made me go to the hospital to get checked out. So embarrassing.... at least I got breaks whenever I asked for them from then on! It was my first deposition and I was afraid to take off my jacket or get up and walk out. Now I know better....

oh no, my husband wants to come watch!

[Anonymous]

Lol, now that I am thinking about it... it was really sweet that she came. I won both trials by the way. My husband would probably come if I still did trial work. I wonder if other people's moms, dads or significant others ever watch them. Good luck to you OP.

[Anonymous]

No funny stories but I am a GREAT litigator. I am eloquent, persuasive and have an impressive command of the courtroom. However, I am EXTREMELY nervous before court - ie, using the bathroom frequently, sweating and paralyzed by an irrational fear of messing making a fool of myself. What has helped me is practicing in the mirror and exercising to get rid of the nerves. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I hesitate to post because I am totally outing myself, as many of my friend know these stories.

I forgot my shoes on the first day of my summer judicial clerkship. It was far away and I used to wear sneakers while driving. Thankfully I had left myself plenty of time to get there and there was a Kmart a couple of miles from the courthouse.

My cell phone went off in a dead silent courtroom (thankfully before the judge came in) and was blasting "The Milkshake Song" from my pocket. The defendant (stereotypical "hoodlum") looked at me and lowered his head, shaking it in pity for me.

Once while I was clerking, a very competent (but less seasoned) attorney was handling a case solo. She was young and attractive and was dressed, shall I say, less formal, and had a wordrobe malfunction and her top was a little too snug and kept riding up. The judge and I were passing notes through her entire opening. My judge finally suggested I offer to lend her my spare blazer that I kept in my office. As mortified as I was to be the messenger on this issue, I did it. She still prevailed.

While I can't offer too much wisdom on surviving my own cases, I can offer some reassurance from the perspective of someone who spent a lot of time on the other side of the bench. The judges and clerks (and attorneys) have seen it all. You'll be fine!!

Good luck, OP. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Not my story, but a colleague before I moved to DC used to recount a story about the day she wore a long skirt to court. As she was seated at the bar table, she somehow got her heel caught in her skirt. So, when she rose to her feet to make an objection, she lost her skirt! In all honesty, I never knew how much of the story was true, but it was always entertaining to hear her tell it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

While I can't offer too much wisdom on surviving my own cases, I can offer some reassurance from the perspective of someone who spent a lot of time on the other side of the bench. The judges and clerks (and attorneys) have seen it all. You'll be fine!!

Good luck, OP. Relax.

+1. The judges really have seen it all. During my clerkship I saw seasoned litigators who you'd never think would be nervous, but if they held paper, you could see it shaking.

Another wardrobe story, once when we were listening to the courtroom proceedings from the back, before the judge went into the courtroom, we could hear lots of chatter among the attorneys about placekickers. When my co-clerk came back into chambers at a break, it was clear what they were talking about. He was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe, same style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once sat at the wrong counsel's table in a roomful of attorneys that I know well and before a Judge that I know well. Another time, my DVD, which contained my expert's de bene esse depositon, would not play on the Court's DVD player. Turns out the court reporter sent me the kind of DVD that plays on a computer even though the company knew I needed it for court and the court uses regular DVD players.

There is no difference between the 2. Or were you sent a CD?

Actually there is and you have to reserve the correct equipment in court or you aren't going to be able to get your video into evidence. You might be able to have it read into evidence, but your jury would likely sleep through the whole thing.